ilpromenade application.
PLAYER
✧ NAME: Ca
✧ LJ USERNAME: iturnedaway
✧ CONTACT (EMAIL, AIM, MSN, PLURK, ETC.):
aim: n0tJesus
plurk: menaceonkeys
email: cltonabun@gmail.com
✧ CURRENT CHARACTERS PLAYED AT PROMENADE: n/a
CHARACTER
✧ NAME: Ethan Joel Kastner
✧ SERIES: ORIGINAL
✧ HISTORY:
As a note, Ethan is biologically 100% female and always has been. He considers himself to be male and binds his chest and employs the use of testosterone to further the transition process. He has been using this treatment for around 90 days and has experienced some voice changes and increased body hair. When he speaks, his voice often cracks and it can sound to some like he has a cold. I understand that this is a very sensitive subject matter and fully intend to exercise as much gentleness as I can while still being wholly realistic.
When Ethan was born, he wasn't called Ethan at all. He was born Emily Sara Kastner and it remains his legal name. In early childhood, he always knew he was different from the other girls and often strove to set himself apart. He tried out for sports and tried to get in with the boys, but it only further outcast him from the rest of the class. Mother, Carol, and grandfather, Abraham, consistently tried to feminize him.
Always having gone to private school, he was forced to wear skirts until the sixth grade, but he would rip them up while running around and showed no real regard for the wellbeing of his clothing. The first pair of dress pants he received for Synagogue after begging his mother over and over, he kept pristine to show her he could take care of his things. However, when he asked his grandfather for a kippa, he was laughed at. While his mother raised him reform, his grandparents were/are orthodox. He went to the orthodox temple once every month and on special occasions. As a small child up to about 12 or so he went to the reform temple with his mother every week, but then he stopped going altogether and only accompanied his grandfather to orthodox on holidays. His place of Solace in Prom will be that orthodox temple: Congregation Talmud Torah Adereth.
Being scientific in nature, Ethan doesn't necessarily believe in God. He knew since he was very small he wanted to be a doctor. They never had pets growing up and so animals always appealed to him, being something he wasn't allowed to be near. He also has a natural inclination with especially dogs, who tend to trust and listen to him. Perhaps because they sense he's such an honest individual. And so he majors in veterinary science but also intends to get a dual PHD in forensic science. He's since become conflicted on whether or not to become a vet or an ME but he figures by the time he's finished his massive amounts of schooling he'll know for sure.
Getting back to family life, Ethan doesn't know who his father is. Carol has told him she doesn't know, but he thinks she does. Either way, she won't tell him. His grandmother, Eva, died when he was six from ovarian cancer. He was very close to her )or as close as he could be that young) and will read the story of Daniel when he misses her - she used to tell him the stories of Daniel especially the one about the lion's den and so they remind him of her.
He first started realizing he was trans/that he was in the wrong body around sophomore year in high school. Or at least, that's when it had a name. He had always felt remarkably strange calling himself a girl or hear other people use his given name. It was as if they were talking about someone who just wasn't there. His close friends in high school called him "E" or "Em" and he much preferred that as it didn't sound so girly. However, he didn't confess that he thought he was trans to anyone until senior year. And even then he told only one person: his closest friend Leah who he was pretty sure he was in love with at the time. But she went off to the Midwest for college and he never was able to keep in touch.
Despite being a pretty heavy pot user during this time, he still managed to get straight As. This is because of his anxiety, which went undiagnosed because of its correlation with his gender identity disorder. He did extremely well on the SAT (a 2290) and received enough scholarships to go to Cornell with some help from his grandfather (who paid solely for his school all his life).
Even in college he never "comes out" as trans. He wants to pass as a boy on his own merit and doesn't want people knowing he's biologically female. This doesn't always work, obviously, and he knows that most people aren't trying to be insensitive but he just tries to stay satisfied with merely being androgynous. He does however, come out as pansexual early on in Cornell, and has since then had a vast array of sexual partners. He's only ever had a serious relationship with a boy named Sean Gallows whom he met his second year. He broke off the relationship when it became physically abusive though it had been verbally long before. They dated nearly a year and spoke of being together forever and even marriage though Sean constantly treated him as a girl especially during sex.
From then on, he seeks out people to just have sex with and doesn't attach himself overly to anyone. He uses online dating sites and primarily sleeps with women - meeting them under the handle "EJ". However without boy parts, he can only sleep with people he's up front with and will gravitate towards queer women for that reason.
Ethan's relationship with his mother is a complicated one. Not that anyone has a simple relationship with their moms. When he was very young (maybe 7 or 8) he tried to tell Carol he was a boy. This was of course dismissed as child's play though she's since come to terms with the fact that it was no joke. In middle school, similarly, Ethan came out as gay to her. He told her he was interested in other girls, but she never offered any real support and only told him that he couldn't ever tell his grandfather. Carol is an RN and works a lot/late and always has. Ethan has always had to take care of himself and occasionally her.
He got his first job to help support them when he was 13 (the summer before high school). He worked under the table in restaurants and doing manual labor until he was 16 when he started working legit retail jobs. However there they forced him to go by "Emily" and he always hated and resented work for that reason and was constantly hiding his name tags and getting into trouble.
Though he had long felt a "connection" to the name Ethan he never actually used it aloud (only online) until college. He's saving up for a name change behind his mother's back, telling her his lab internship is unpaid. Though Carol almost always calls him E or Em. Occasionally even EJ as she was the one who gave him the hebrew name Joella on his 13th birthday (he wanted a bar mitzvah but settled for cake with his mother at home). When she's upset, Carol calls him by his full given name which is always the most upsetting.
Ethan has been doing research on what it means to be trans since he was around 15 and finally came to the conclusion that he needed to start T. He started seeing a doctor in college and was properly diagnosed with GID. In recent months he has been proscribed testosterone and injects it once a week.
Ethan's world is a perfectly typical 2011 New York. There are no superheroes or magic dragons and he's extremely unforgiving of the strange or occult.
✧ TIMELINE: Present day so he won't be surprised by the date, but he will be upset to be pulled out of class for this shit.
✧ PERSONALITY: He's extremely ambitious and has always been mindful of his future even at a young age. Despite being scientific and logical also he is not a very serious person and will joke and laugh at the stupidest things. His mother's lack of presence at an early age taught him how to take care of himself and others. He has always felt the instinct to care for others which is where his love of animals stems from. When his mother or grandfather is sick he will drop everything in his life to take care of them.
He also feels as though his feelings don't matter because they've never been expressed to him as something he should be open with. He's become a very private person as a result and doesn't feel right telling even close friends more personal things about himself. His grandfather always told him to be strong and not to cry, and had done the same to Carol and her sisters. He grew up in Germany which is why he feels strongly that people should keep their emotions safely guarded and not share them, and Ethan has adopted the same belief.
While logic wins out for most of his life, Ethan is a romantic. While he tries to write off his feelings of love as simple chemical misfires in the brain, he feels very deeply for people very quickly. It's part of the reason he doesn't let people get close. He deflects with jokes and being outwardly loud and people gravitate to him because of his big personality. But the truth is it's a lot to maintain and he would prefer the quiet if he ever allowed himself to have it.
While he does feel a compulsion to help others, he can often be very oblivious to what other people are feeling and has a tendency to slip into his own head and as such can appear self-centered. His brain works a lot faster than the rest of him and it's very easy for him to get lost in his own thoughts. He doesn't have many close friends and never has, though he constantly is lonely and surrounds himself with cheerful people.
While Ethan is, at his core, a happy individual, his GID and tendency to be very logical and realistic can often get to him. He never believes he's doing well enough, constantly strives to do better and beats himself up when he can't get there.
However he is also extremely resourceful and will do anything to get himself where he needs to be (within his own moral standard). A moral standard which is very strict. Though he is not technically religious, he believes wholly that he should exercise the principles of a good Hebrew man that have been instilled in him since birth. He very much wants to have a family some day, probably a wife and kids. It appeals to him though he doesn't show it by sleeping around that is, also, compelled by his loneliness and insecurity.
And while he is always the picture of perfect confidence, he usually doesn't feel it on the inside. When people call him out as trans or Jew or do any number of insensitive things, he is immediately affected. Though to others he always maintains his calm and collective demeanor. It seems to the rest of the world as though nothing ever bothers him but that can also make him appear cold or callous. None of these impressions are really true.
He has a strong self-hatred that he keeps buried also with the use of deflection or self-deprecating humor. He's always the first to blame himself or make himself the punchline of a joke. Despite his partying (which has toned down a bit most recently but it still is at a concerning level) he is a very level-headed and mature individual. He prides himself in always making the right choice and knows that he's smarter than most of the people he interacts with daily. He doesn't mean to come off as arrogant but often can anyway.
He can be very hypocritical when it comes to people and their religion. He doesn't think scientists or doctors should have religion and is constantly baffled by the people in his classes who talk of God. However, he maintains a kosher diet and lifestyle, and follows the principles of his reform temple though he doesn't anymore attend. He's basically agnostic though he would never be aware or admit to it, and finds the following of Judaism to be more of a familial obligation than a true belief.
However, always being calm and steady all changes when he begins T. Chronic moodswings as a result of hormone imbalance causes him to be unstable or make rash decisions. He also gets outwardly angry which has never really happened to him in his entire life previous. Because of this he's much less fun to be around and the acne and sporadic facial hair don't help his chances with the ladies or even just his friends.
Despite all of this he is a good friend and an upbeat personality to be around. He tries to do his best for everyone around him and go out of his way for those who need him, often putting their needs ahead of his own. This conflicts with his ambitious nature and he often battles with himself over for instance, helping the drunk girl down the hall when he has a huge test the next day. Most of these are not life-or-death but he would be much more likely to help her and then study and not sleep at all than to let her go unattended or ignore the obligations of his class. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.
✧ ABILITIES/POWERS: He is pretty above averagely intelligent, but that's all to speak of.
✧ TIME OF ARRIVAL: day time
✧ MASK DESIGN: something like this
✧ PLACE OF SOLACE: Congregation Talmud Torah Adereth; This temple causes many conflicting feelings within Ethan but it also reminds him of what's truly important.
SAMPLES
✧ FIRST PERSON: here.
✧ THIRD PERSON: here.
✧ ORIGINAL CHARACTER QUESTION: Your character is stuck here in a city they don't recognize, and have no clue as to how they got there. What's their first reaction, and how exactly will they adapt to Promenade and its people?
Ethan will absolutely not believe it at first. He will think everyone is a hallucination and probably conclude he's somehow in a coma. He will probably be very angry and scared and take that out on the people who initially try to help him. However, he will adapt to his surroundings quickly and try to find a way out (probably to the exhaustion and frustration to everyone around him.) He will lock himself away and perform scientific ~tests~ to try to get himself to wake up. EVENTUALLY, eventually, he will give this up, but only after the memory loss starts taking its effect. Up until the last minute he can, he will try to convince everyone this isn't real and probably sound like a crazy person while doing so.
Though he has tremendous trust issues, he will trust the people here easier due to thinking they are part of his own subconscious mind trying to help him work through a solution. Because of this, as time goes on here and he begins to forget, he will trust everyone less than he did initially until eventually warming back up to them.
He will also be continually frustrated that his transition has been halted. Upon discovering his place of solace, he won't know why his mind is providing him such a place of conflict to rest himself. And all of this will trigger probably constant inner turmoil. All of this to say his life will be hard.
✧ NAME: Ca
✧ LJ USERNAME: iturnedaway
✧ CONTACT (EMAIL, AIM, MSN, PLURK, ETC.):
aim: n0tJesus
plurk: menaceonkeys
email: cltonabun@gmail.com
✧ CURRENT CHARACTERS PLAYED AT PROMENADE: n/a
CHARACTER
✧ NAME: Ethan Joel Kastner
✧ SERIES: ORIGINAL
✧ HISTORY:
As a note, Ethan is biologically 100% female and always has been. He considers himself to be male and binds his chest and employs the use of testosterone to further the transition process. He has been using this treatment for around 90 days and has experienced some voice changes and increased body hair. When he speaks, his voice often cracks and it can sound to some like he has a cold. I understand that this is a very sensitive subject matter and fully intend to exercise as much gentleness as I can while still being wholly realistic.
When Ethan was born, he wasn't called Ethan at all. He was born Emily Sara Kastner and it remains his legal name. In early childhood, he always knew he was different from the other girls and often strove to set himself apart. He tried out for sports and tried to get in with the boys, but it only further outcast him from the rest of the class. Mother, Carol, and grandfather, Abraham, consistently tried to feminize him.
Always having gone to private school, he was forced to wear skirts until the sixth grade, but he would rip them up while running around and showed no real regard for the wellbeing of his clothing. The first pair of dress pants he received for Synagogue after begging his mother over and over, he kept pristine to show her he could take care of his things. However, when he asked his grandfather for a kippa, he was laughed at. While his mother raised him reform, his grandparents were/are orthodox. He went to the orthodox temple once every month and on special occasions. As a small child up to about 12 or so he went to the reform temple with his mother every week, but then he stopped going altogether and only accompanied his grandfather to orthodox on holidays. His place of Solace in Prom will be that orthodox temple: Congregation Talmud Torah Adereth.
Being scientific in nature, Ethan doesn't necessarily believe in God. He knew since he was very small he wanted to be a doctor. They never had pets growing up and so animals always appealed to him, being something he wasn't allowed to be near. He also has a natural inclination with especially dogs, who tend to trust and listen to him. Perhaps because they sense he's such an honest individual. And so he majors in veterinary science but also intends to get a dual PHD in forensic science. He's since become conflicted on whether or not to become a vet or an ME but he figures by the time he's finished his massive amounts of schooling he'll know for sure.
Getting back to family life, Ethan doesn't know who his father is. Carol has told him she doesn't know, but he thinks she does. Either way, she won't tell him. His grandmother, Eva, died when he was six from ovarian cancer. He was very close to her )or as close as he could be that young) and will read the story of Daniel when he misses her - she used to tell him the stories of Daniel especially the one about the lion's den and so they remind him of her.
He first started realizing he was trans/that he was in the wrong body around sophomore year in high school. Or at least, that's when it had a name. He had always felt remarkably strange calling himself a girl or hear other people use his given name. It was as if they were talking about someone who just wasn't there. His close friends in high school called him "E" or "Em" and he much preferred that as it didn't sound so girly. However, he didn't confess that he thought he was trans to anyone until senior year. And even then he told only one person: his closest friend Leah who he was pretty sure he was in love with at the time. But she went off to the Midwest for college and he never was able to keep in touch.
Despite being a pretty heavy pot user during this time, he still managed to get straight As. This is because of his anxiety, which went undiagnosed because of its correlation with his gender identity disorder. He did extremely well on the SAT (a 2290) and received enough scholarships to go to Cornell with some help from his grandfather (who paid solely for his school all his life).
Even in college he never "comes out" as trans. He wants to pass as a boy on his own merit and doesn't want people knowing he's biologically female. This doesn't always work, obviously, and he knows that most people aren't trying to be insensitive but he just tries to stay satisfied with merely being androgynous. He does however, come out as pansexual early on in Cornell, and has since then had a vast array of sexual partners. He's only ever had a serious relationship with a boy named Sean Gallows whom he met his second year. He broke off the relationship when it became physically abusive though it had been verbally long before. They dated nearly a year and spoke of being together forever and even marriage though Sean constantly treated him as a girl especially during sex.
From then on, he seeks out people to just have sex with and doesn't attach himself overly to anyone. He uses online dating sites and primarily sleeps with women - meeting them under the handle "EJ". However without boy parts, he can only sleep with people he's up front with and will gravitate towards queer women for that reason.
Ethan's relationship with his mother is a complicated one. Not that anyone has a simple relationship with their moms. When he was very young (maybe 7 or 8) he tried to tell Carol he was a boy. This was of course dismissed as child's play though she's since come to terms with the fact that it was no joke. In middle school, similarly, Ethan came out as gay to her. He told her he was interested in other girls, but she never offered any real support and only told him that he couldn't ever tell his grandfather. Carol is an RN and works a lot/late and always has. Ethan has always had to take care of himself and occasionally her.
He got his first job to help support them when he was 13 (the summer before high school). He worked under the table in restaurants and doing manual labor until he was 16 when he started working legit retail jobs. However there they forced him to go by "Emily" and he always hated and resented work for that reason and was constantly hiding his name tags and getting into trouble.
Though he had long felt a "connection" to the name Ethan he never actually used it aloud (only online) until college. He's saving up for a name change behind his mother's back, telling her his lab internship is unpaid. Though Carol almost always calls him E or Em. Occasionally even EJ as she was the one who gave him the hebrew name Joella on his 13th birthday (he wanted a bar mitzvah but settled for cake with his mother at home). When she's upset, Carol calls him by his full given name which is always the most upsetting.
Ethan has been doing research on what it means to be trans since he was around 15 and finally came to the conclusion that he needed to start T. He started seeing a doctor in college and was properly diagnosed with GID. In recent months he has been proscribed testosterone and injects it once a week.
Ethan's world is a perfectly typical 2011 New York. There are no superheroes or magic dragons and he's extremely unforgiving of the strange or occult.
✧ TIMELINE: Present day so he won't be surprised by the date, but he will be upset to be pulled out of class for this shit.
✧ PERSONALITY: He's extremely ambitious and has always been mindful of his future even at a young age. Despite being scientific and logical also he is not a very serious person and will joke and laugh at the stupidest things. His mother's lack of presence at an early age taught him how to take care of himself and others. He has always felt the instinct to care for others which is where his love of animals stems from. When his mother or grandfather is sick he will drop everything in his life to take care of them.
He also feels as though his feelings don't matter because they've never been expressed to him as something he should be open with. He's become a very private person as a result and doesn't feel right telling even close friends more personal things about himself. His grandfather always told him to be strong and not to cry, and had done the same to Carol and her sisters. He grew up in Germany which is why he feels strongly that people should keep their emotions safely guarded and not share them, and Ethan has adopted the same belief.
While logic wins out for most of his life, Ethan is a romantic. While he tries to write off his feelings of love as simple chemical misfires in the brain, he feels very deeply for people very quickly. It's part of the reason he doesn't let people get close. He deflects with jokes and being outwardly loud and people gravitate to him because of his big personality. But the truth is it's a lot to maintain and he would prefer the quiet if he ever allowed himself to have it.
While he does feel a compulsion to help others, he can often be very oblivious to what other people are feeling and has a tendency to slip into his own head and as such can appear self-centered. His brain works a lot faster than the rest of him and it's very easy for him to get lost in his own thoughts. He doesn't have many close friends and never has, though he constantly is lonely and surrounds himself with cheerful people.
While Ethan is, at his core, a happy individual, his GID and tendency to be very logical and realistic can often get to him. He never believes he's doing well enough, constantly strives to do better and beats himself up when he can't get there.
However he is also extremely resourceful and will do anything to get himself where he needs to be (within his own moral standard). A moral standard which is very strict. Though he is not technically religious, he believes wholly that he should exercise the principles of a good Hebrew man that have been instilled in him since birth. He very much wants to have a family some day, probably a wife and kids. It appeals to him though he doesn't show it by sleeping around that is, also, compelled by his loneliness and insecurity.
And while he is always the picture of perfect confidence, he usually doesn't feel it on the inside. When people call him out as trans or Jew or do any number of insensitive things, he is immediately affected. Though to others he always maintains his calm and collective demeanor. It seems to the rest of the world as though nothing ever bothers him but that can also make him appear cold or callous. None of these impressions are really true.
He has a strong self-hatred that he keeps buried also with the use of deflection or self-deprecating humor. He's always the first to blame himself or make himself the punchline of a joke. Despite his partying (which has toned down a bit most recently but it still is at a concerning level) he is a very level-headed and mature individual. He prides himself in always making the right choice and knows that he's smarter than most of the people he interacts with daily. He doesn't mean to come off as arrogant but often can anyway.
He can be very hypocritical when it comes to people and their religion. He doesn't think scientists or doctors should have religion and is constantly baffled by the people in his classes who talk of God. However, he maintains a kosher diet and lifestyle, and follows the principles of his reform temple though he doesn't anymore attend. He's basically agnostic though he would never be aware or admit to it, and finds the following of Judaism to be more of a familial obligation than a true belief.
However, always being calm and steady all changes when he begins T. Chronic moodswings as a result of hormone imbalance causes him to be unstable or make rash decisions. He also gets outwardly angry which has never really happened to him in his entire life previous. Because of this he's much less fun to be around and the acne and sporadic facial hair don't help his chances with the ladies or even just his friends.
Despite all of this he is a good friend and an upbeat personality to be around. He tries to do his best for everyone around him and go out of his way for those who need him, often putting their needs ahead of his own. This conflicts with his ambitious nature and he often battles with himself over for instance, helping the drunk girl down the hall when he has a huge test the next day. Most of these are not life-or-death but he would be much more likely to help her and then study and not sleep at all than to let her go unattended or ignore the obligations of his class. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.
✧ ABILITIES/POWERS: He is pretty above averagely intelligent, but that's all to speak of.
✧ TIME OF ARRIVAL: day time
✧ MASK DESIGN: something like this
✧ PLACE OF SOLACE: Congregation Talmud Torah Adereth; This temple causes many conflicting feelings within Ethan but it also reminds him of what's truly important.
SAMPLES
✧ FIRST PERSON: here.
✧ THIRD PERSON: here.
✧ ORIGINAL CHARACTER QUESTION: Your character is stuck here in a city they don't recognize, and have no clue as to how they got there. What's their first reaction, and how exactly will they adapt to Promenade and its people?
Ethan will absolutely not believe it at first. He will think everyone is a hallucination and probably conclude he's somehow in a coma. He will probably be very angry and scared and take that out on the people who initially try to help him. However, he will adapt to his surroundings quickly and try to find a way out (probably to the exhaustion and frustration to everyone around him.) He will lock himself away and perform scientific ~tests~ to try to get himself to wake up. EVENTUALLY, eventually, he will give this up, but only after the memory loss starts taking its effect. Up until the last minute he can, he will try to convince everyone this isn't real and probably sound like a crazy person while doing so.
Though he has tremendous trust issues, he will trust the people here easier due to thinking they are part of his own subconscious mind trying to help him work through a solution. Because of this, as time goes on here and he begins to forget, he will trust everyone less than he did initially until eventually warming back up to them.
He will also be continually frustrated that his transition has been halted. Upon discovering his place of solace, he won't know why his mind is providing him such a place of conflict to rest himself. And all of this will trigger probably constant inner turmoil. All of this to say his life will be hard.