Irritating
-school is the stupidest thing ever. its only the 3rd week and im already bitching what a loser.
so i feel like i owe it to this sad little journal to update on it.well UPDATE!!! me and my friend amanda from school have gotten pretty close, i worked with her over the summer and now we have like 5 classes together bc were both in nursing.so its great bc shes a real sweetheart. basically im moving in with andrew kinda idk like whats really the deal bc i stay there every night and im like there every day. i just am so worried about the two of us bc if i move in and it doesnt work out im afraid of failing at that ya know? and..theres something else...but idk.i am at the point in my life where i would rather just leave it up to chance bc im scared of losing him but idk.theres such a big personality clash and we just collide.haha...not funny. but what is funny and surprising is the way life had a way of changing. with new and surprising ppl. like yesterday i thought to myself when i looked at andrew...god i love this kid.and it was a powerful rush for me.but the kisses arent the same anymore, the touch just doesnt feel the same.but i think after 2.5 years, that happens right?i dont want it to happen but im not understanding how to change what went wrong.the biggest thing here is the fact of the matter...we both need to do a little bit of growing up.and we def. need to change our attitudes towards each other.then maybe, just maybe it will be ok?i always said ill never be in a relationship where im not happy..but i am in that relationship, im happy sometimes..but ugh im going off on tangents here bc im so jumbled.sorry. we went to tops the other night and it was like we were 2 high school kids laughing, playing around with each other...it felt GREAT bc it hasnt been like that for a while.but then it goes right back...ok...i cant talk about this anymore.
so im off like a wildman bc im so out of sorts.
speaking of wild men...bucky surrenderd!
so i feel like i owe it to this sad little journal to update on it.well UPDATE!!! me and my friend amanda from school have gotten pretty close, i worked with her over the summer and now we have like 5 classes together bc were both in nursing.so its great bc shes a real sweetheart. basically im moving in with andrew kinda idk like whats really the deal bc i stay there every night and im like there every day. i just am so worried about the two of us bc if i move in and it doesnt work out im afraid of failing at that ya know? and..theres something else...but idk.i am at the point in my life where i would rather just leave it up to chance bc im scared of losing him but idk.theres such a big personality clash and we just collide.haha...not funny. but what is funny and surprising is the way life had a way of changing. with new and surprising ppl. like yesterday i thought to myself when i looked at andrew...god i love this kid.and it was a powerful rush for me.but the kisses arent the same anymore, the touch just doesnt feel the same.but i think after 2.5 years, that happens right?i dont want it to happen but im not understanding how to change what went wrong.the biggest thing here is the fact of the matter...we both need to do a little bit of growing up.and we def. need to change our attitudes towards each other.then maybe, just maybe it will be ok?i always said ill never be in a relationship where im not happy..but i am in that relationship, im happy sometimes..but ugh im going off on tangents here bc im so jumbled.sorry. we went to tops the other night and it was like we were 2 high school kids laughing, playing around with each other...it felt GREAT bc it hasnt been like that for a while.but then it goes right back...ok...i cant talk about this anymore.
so im off like a wildman bc im so out of sorts.
speaking of wild men...bucky surrenderd!