(no subject)

Jun 22, 2006 12:17

I wish could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

[Chorus:]
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That man can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too

Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein' stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'
^ this song like used to be such a self esteem booster for some reason>now its just a song.but like it just seems like i really cant put anymore feeling into this journal bc its wrong to write about it bc it makes people mad or causes drama.but what about the drama that what other people say and the things that they do cause me?is that ok? i suppose it is bc im just me.im no one important and im no one special.im just kelly.
sometimes it all needs to be put somewhere else i guess, ill just have to hold onto it.im not allowed to be offending.
in other news i guess me and andrew are ok.im just going have to wait and see where this relationship goes because i love him and i dont want to lose him over trivial bullshit.and i hope he feels the same way.i just dont think he really cares anymore and when his own family starts to notice it..then its bad.like i was really surprised that eric stuck up for me the other day when andrew yelled but then and again, in a way me and eric always have been a little closer then the rest of the brothers.maybe its the age thing? me and matt are getting better tho now too.but  i really appreciated eric and i told him so and he told me that i dont deserve the way andrew talks to me and im like shit eric this is like allday every dya and yes i have my faults too bc im not perfect but he was like no matter, he shouldnt talk to u like that.
but we both need to be better like with talking to each other but i really have been trying to like do more things and shit and like it just doesnt really seem to be working out all that well with him so idk.well see.hes not a bad guy so if we dont work out (which i hope that we do) any girl would be lucky to have him.
we went to the bonton last night and we ended up spending like 130.00 on what should have been about 400.00 worth of stuff.they had this liquidation sale.so i just got called for an interview for monday at 1030 for my school which will be awesome :)
this is getting long so im out
<3
by the way andrews brother Eddie left for Iraq today so everyone send out some prayers for him...
God Bless our Troops <3
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