i love how you can tell all the pieces of me
why am i so ugly? and fat?
ugh
i like really hate myself.i cant take this anymore.like i hate girls too.i wish i was a guy.not really.but girls are like these evil devil people.there is no amount to what people will do to get revenge. idk like i wish this girl was never in his life.i wish i could just tell her that i hate her so much.i have never met her but i hate her.thats so mean and im not a person who is like this.why should i let someone keep talking bad about me?she doesnt even know me.and i dont know her but if i did im sure i am not only sure but i am positive i wouldnt like her.i just want to punch her in the face and be done with it.i just wanna make her like hate my relationship and i should be like look now.everyone look now.but here i am again and im starin at these same four walls...alone again.im growing numb and ive become this empty page.i havent even heard about her for a while.well someone told me she was a lesbain or like a partial lesbain. andrews mom told me.shes like i never liked her.she loves me hahaha idk i feel like crap.today is a day when its going to hurt thinking about it.nothing significant happened.but like ive been realizing things latley and idk this whole world and everything breathing is fucked up.so if your reading this your fucked up.in some way shape or form there is at least one thing that you wish is different or you cant accept and there is something about you that is fucked up.
and andrew oh god do i love you?more than life itself.but i cannot keep wondering.i mean i dont have any thoughts sorted out im just rambling on and on.im stuck in this dark hard place.but its pouring rain and freezing cold.things will finally look up and i will write about it the day things come crashing down.
oh and both amandas and everyone in the world...to add to this confusion...i love you and thank you.