Re: future - I am equal parts excited and terrified
Life is about to change very drastically, and I'm torn. Yes, I really want to move, to get away, to live on my own. But it's going to be a little heartbreaking when I come home to find the spot on which this crappy house has spent 50+ years just... empty. Or, worse yet, with something stupid on it.
As I'm packing my life into plastic bins, I can't help but think of how much crap I have. And also how little of it I can bring to England. And how it's difficult to throw things away, even stupid things, because it feels like you're throwing away a chunk of your past, even though you know you aren't. Yet as difficult as it is to get rid of things, there are times where I feel overwhelmed and just want to chuck it all.
It's snowing outside. I'm spending the day packing, throwing away stuff, and doing laundry. Eric and I are heading over to my dad's for the Bears game at 2:00. I hope they win. Not only will it be great to see the Chicago Bears in the Superbowl, but I think my dad could use the good news. His youngest brother, my Uncle Chris, died this week. My dad's other brothers and sister flew down to Florida, and my dad stayed here. He was the one who had to tell his mom. I don't envy him that. What horrible news. He was only 42. I can't even remember the last time I saw him. Maybe my Uncle Tom's wedding years ago? It was hard with his dialysis and diabetes and transplants. At least he's no longer in pain. But, yes, a Bears win should cheer my dad up a little.
Our oven is broken, there's mouse droppings in it to boot (so can't even use the broiler) and all I wanted was to eat some buffalo wings.
As I'm packing my life into plastic bins, I can't help but think of how much crap I have. And also how little of it I can bring to England. And how it's difficult to throw things away, even stupid things, because it feels like you're throwing away a chunk of your past, even though you know you aren't. Yet as difficult as it is to get rid of things, there are times where I feel overwhelmed and just want to chuck it all.
It's snowing outside. I'm spending the day packing, throwing away stuff, and doing laundry. Eric and I are heading over to my dad's for the Bears game at 2:00. I hope they win. Not only will it be great to see the Chicago Bears in the Superbowl, but I think my dad could use the good news. His youngest brother, my Uncle Chris, died this week. My dad's other brothers and sister flew down to Florida, and my dad stayed here. He was the one who had to tell his mom. I don't envy him that. What horrible news. He was only 42. I can't even remember the last time I saw him. Maybe my Uncle Tom's wedding years ago? It was hard with his dialysis and diabetes and transplants. At least he's no longer in pain. But, yes, a Bears win should cheer my dad up a little.
Our oven is broken, there's mouse droppings in it to boot (so can't even use the broiler) and all I wanted was to eat some buffalo wings.