"I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch, and I'm better than you!"
i have been talking to the mudds lately and its got me thinking about my family. i never really talk about them ever. i am like one of those people who really don't keep in contact with their family much. it is like i go and live my life and just come around when i have to. but one thing i know at least is what is going on with them.
i haven't really mentioned much about them lately, but i thought i would talk about it now. when i came home on spring break, my family tells me that my grandmother is in the hospital. well i wasn't too shocked because she tends to go to the hospital/doctor a lot for her glaucoma and diabetes. well my mother sent a message to me online saying something about my grandmother's latest EKG readings. apparently she took them to a doctor down on the island and they told her that my grandmother is at risk of heart failure. so she wanted me to tell someone at home ASAP. then when i get home, i hear that my grandmother was in the hospital for congested heart failure. i wasn't too shocked, but i was a little curious to know why no one informed me of the situation. they didn't want to ruin my vacation. but we picked her up from the hospital. i believed i mentioned all of this in the last entry or two. but one thing i didn't mention was my ability to call and check up on her. when my aunt moved down there, my grandmother basically stopped answering her own phone. and the rest of the family either loses their phone or doesn't pick up. so as much as i know, they are probably dead and i would have no idea if i was right. they get really upset with you if you don't call them. they think you don't care. but whatever.
i also had a cousin in the hospital lately for her lupus which i have also mentioned. for the past year or so, she had been in and out of the hospital and i just figured this was just another one of those moments. i talked to my father earlier this week and he told me that she almost died. she couldn't breathe or eat on her own. she lost a ton of weight. i am glad i was told this like two weeks after it happened. all i was told is that she was in the hospital, but my father forgot to tell me the rest.
one of the things that frustrates me about this whole thing is that no one tells me the whole story. this is where my family still thinks i am a child. they don't think i can handle death or handle pain and suffering. so they tend not to tell me things in fear that i won't be able to sleep at night or i won't understand. even though i do understand these things now, wouldn't i have to understand them at some point in my life? you can't fucking shelter me forever. i guess no one has noticed my calmness in really stressful situations. if the situation doesn't directly deal with my thoughts, i handle it so much better.
but that was my slight rant and update on what is going on with me.
on a better note, i got my dreads finally.
i haven't really mentioned much about them lately, but i thought i would talk about it now. when i came home on spring break, my family tells me that my grandmother is in the hospital. well i wasn't too shocked because she tends to go to the hospital/doctor a lot for her glaucoma and diabetes. well my mother sent a message to me online saying something about my grandmother's latest EKG readings. apparently she took them to a doctor down on the island and they told her that my grandmother is at risk of heart failure. so she wanted me to tell someone at home ASAP. then when i get home, i hear that my grandmother was in the hospital for congested heart failure. i wasn't too shocked, but i was a little curious to know why no one informed me of the situation. they didn't want to ruin my vacation. but we picked her up from the hospital. i believed i mentioned all of this in the last entry or two. but one thing i didn't mention was my ability to call and check up on her. when my aunt moved down there, my grandmother basically stopped answering her own phone. and the rest of the family either loses their phone or doesn't pick up. so as much as i know, they are probably dead and i would have no idea if i was right. they get really upset with you if you don't call them. they think you don't care. but whatever.
i also had a cousin in the hospital lately for her lupus which i have also mentioned. for the past year or so, she had been in and out of the hospital and i just figured this was just another one of those moments. i talked to my father earlier this week and he told me that she almost died. she couldn't breathe or eat on her own. she lost a ton of weight. i am glad i was told this like two weeks after it happened. all i was told is that she was in the hospital, but my father forgot to tell me the rest.
one of the things that frustrates me about this whole thing is that no one tells me the whole story. this is where my family still thinks i am a child. they don't think i can handle death or handle pain and suffering. so they tend not to tell me things in fear that i won't be able to sleep at night or i won't understand. even though i do understand these things now, wouldn't i have to understand them at some point in my life? you can't fucking shelter me forever. i guess no one has noticed my calmness in really stressful situations. if the situation doesn't directly deal with my thoughts, i handle it so much better.
but that was my slight rant and update on what is going on with me.
on a better note, i got my dreads finally.