Our House, in the Middle of Our Street
i've been reading The World Order of Baha'u'llah by Shoghi Effendi recently. i've always kinda known this, but reading it drove the point home to me: having the love of Baha'u'llah is not enough. we are Baha'is because we love Baha'u'llah, right? but if all we do is love Him and belive in Him, then we're missing all the rest of the bounties that being a Baha'i brings. if we don't include ourselves whole-heartedly in the process of the Administrative Order, then we're depriving ourselves of the protection of the Faith. it's like a house. the foundation of the house is the love of Baha'u'llah. the roof of the house is the Covenant, and the walls of the house are the Laws. the thing that holds the walls and the roof to the foundation is the Administrative Order. the Covenant of Baha'u'llah rests on the Adminstrative Order, without it, the roof falls downs. the Administrative Order gives definition to the laws of Baha'u'llah, gives them purpose and puts them into context. essentially, it comes to this: unity is the purpose of the Faith of Baha'u'llah, the Administrative Order is the meaning of the Faith of Baha'u'llah.
this kinda surmizes the core of what i've learned on this Year of Service. last year was a year of exploration for me. a year in which i strayed rather far from my own faith. while i was existing in a world outside of the Baha'i community, i was sitting on the edge of the love of Baha'u'llah, dangling my feet into the waters of the world. while i brought all the virtues i've learned, and the respectable character i've developed as a Baha'i, it didn't have much definition. it easily blew over and fell apart. i never really foresaw the damage that it could cause, but in retrospect, it was perhaps one of the worst things i've ever done. i built a bond of trust with someone, but it was connected to my feeble idea of self at the time. when i pulled myself out of that environment, my weak structure of personal identity collapsed. i broke that trust. it was a terrible few months, complete with countless sleepless nights, lack of proper food intake, and simple depression. it resualted in the breaking of a girl's heart, and my loss of identity.
i recognize now, as i write this, that i had come out of the valley of love, and had entered into the valley of knowledge. i don't think i ever really put that together until just now. i stood, empty of self, without a strong identity to lean on, and i embarked on the process of rebuilding. what i realized at this time was that i needed to build my house around Faith and invite others inside. if i terried to far out of strong, centering power of the Faith of Baha'u'llah, i lost the integrity that made me who i am.
this is something that i continually struggle with. something that i will continually be building upon. and i don't for a second imagine that it'll be easy as i go through life. but i Faith.
this kinda surmizes the core of what i've learned on this Year of Service. last year was a year of exploration for me. a year in which i strayed rather far from my own faith. while i was existing in a world outside of the Baha'i community, i was sitting on the edge of the love of Baha'u'llah, dangling my feet into the waters of the world. while i brought all the virtues i've learned, and the respectable character i've developed as a Baha'i, it didn't have much definition. it easily blew over and fell apart. i never really foresaw the damage that it could cause, but in retrospect, it was perhaps one of the worst things i've ever done. i built a bond of trust with someone, but it was connected to my feeble idea of self at the time. when i pulled myself out of that environment, my weak structure of personal identity collapsed. i broke that trust. it was a terrible few months, complete with countless sleepless nights, lack of proper food intake, and simple depression. it resualted in the breaking of a girl's heart, and my loss of identity.
i recognize now, as i write this, that i had come out of the valley of love, and had entered into the valley of knowledge. i don't think i ever really put that together until just now. i stood, empty of self, without a strong identity to lean on, and i embarked on the process of rebuilding. what i realized at this time was that i needed to build my house around Faith and invite others inside. if i terried to far out of strong, centering power of the Faith of Baha'u'llah, i lost the integrity that made me who i am.
this is something that i continually struggle with. something that i will continually be building upon. and i don't for a second imagine that it'll be easy as i go through life. but i Faith.