can you feel this?
for once in my life, there is a deep underlying happiness that is so beautiful and simple that i no longer feel the need to cover up with overanalytical, intense, dramatic substance. it has not come suddenly, but it is here and permanent unless i want it to go away, which i don't. it's the opposite of a vicious circle.
integration into this state of mind is strange, but not in a negative way. it's strangely blissful and i would not have it any other way. i no longer fear functional life because i no longer feel the need to hold onto substance that was hurting me and that i let hurt me. i surround myself with the positive people and things in my life and i am so insanely in love that sometimes at any given moment my heart rate will pick up and all the energy in my body diffuses in a colorful nebulae that swirls around me and dances in a waltz with the universe. everything just makes more and more sense with him as time goes on. it is infinite.
all else i've really been doing is studying for school, and even if i'm ninth and thus considered a 'failure' by valedictorian standards i'm just doing it for myself. i'm funneling all this energy into a structured society, and yet contrary to belief, rather than be absorbed by its emptiness, i find myself finding more and more beauty in things and finding myself more capable of handling relationships. not the other way around.
i don't miss people that i thought i would.
this is one of the best songs in the world.
eva
integration into this state of mind is strange, but not in a negative way. it's strangely blissful and i would not have it any other way. i no longer fear functional life because i no longer feel the need to hold onto substance that was hurting me and that i let hurt me. i surround myself with the positive people and things in my life and i am so insanely in love that sometimes at any given moment my heart rate will pick up and all the energy in my body diffuses in a colorful nebulae that swirls around me and dances in a waltz with the universe. everything just makes more and more sense with him as time goes on. it is infinite.
all else i've really been doing is studying for school, and even if i'm ninth and thus considered a 'failure' by valedictorian standards i'm just doing it for myself. i'm funneling all this energy into a structured society, and yet contrary to belief, rather than be absorbed by its emptiness, i find myself finding more and more beauty in things and finding myself more capable of handling relationships. not the other way around.
i don't miss people that i thought i would.
this is one of the best songs in the world.
eva