from a conversation the other day (yesterday?) idk...
friend: what's the deal with the ring on your left hand? you're not married.
me: it's a reminder that my first obligation is to me and that I don't owe anyone anything.
friend: that's rather selfish.
me: Just because I don't owe you anything doesn't mean I won't give you everything.
...it took me a while to be able to make that distinction... that giving people all I've got to give doesn't mean sacrificing me to the point where I don't exist as a seperate, self-determinate person. Cause, really, that's what I do. If someone needs to talk, I talk. If someone just needs a hug, that's what they get. But for such a long time, I took that to be 'I'll make myself whatever you need me to be, cause that'll make you happy." And, well, turns out that's not the healthiest thing in the world.
me: it's a reminder that my first obligation is to me and that I don't owe anyone anything.
friend: that's rather selfish.
me: Just because I don't owe you anything doesn't mean I won't give you everything.
...it took me a while to be able to make that distinction... that giving people all I've got to give doesn't mean sacrificing me to the point where I don't exist as a seperate, self-determinate person. Cause, really, that's what I do. If someone needs to talk, I talk. If someone just needs a hug, that's what they get. But for such a long time, I took that to be 'I'll make myself whatever you need me to be, cause that'll make you happy." And, well, turns out that's not the healthiest thing in the world.