Jun 10, 2007 01:13
About a year ago I was torn.. I was leaving the high school that I had known and loved (or hated) for so long.. I was going to be thrown into college life with very little knowledge of anything.. The friends that I had gained over the years up to 12th grade were all going in their different directions. I was scared because I thought I wouldn't ever be able to gain new friends at college.. it had taken me four or more years for these ones..
Actually, about 9 months ago I had these thoughts.. because summer was ending and I wouldn't see my friends for a long time.
"This has just seemed like a long weekend.. and now it's nearing its end. I still haven't packed.. I'm putting it off till the end cause I'm in denial I guess.. I don't wanna leave.. =( I don't know.. part of me is super excited, but I'm also super scared at the same time. Kinda weird. I always seem to be split in two on important things like this.. blah. But yeah, I'll miss all of you guys.. thanks for spending time with me and hanging out with me and stuff. Hopefully I'll still have time to talk to peoples during school.. Yay for aim and/or gtalk! Yeah.. but it's not the same.."
That was written from then.. in September of last year. And now I feel the same way.. or felt the same way when I was packing. It turns out that I was wrong about making new friends.. I made a lot of new friends.. I made some really great friends. And now it's summer and I won't see them for a long time.. very different from living in the same house as them...
College is a lot different than high school. But the main difference for me is that you live with your friends in college. That is why college is more fun. That is why people say that college is the best four years of your life. And I agree with them. So far... It would be awesome if the years after college are even better.. but then you don't live with all of your friends anymore.. you all disperse. And then you only see a couple of your close friends every so often.. or at least that's what I've seen in adults. But yeah.. not all of your friends are at college with you. There's still the ones from high school.. that you can see when you're not in school.. during the breaks. But then you miss the ones from college.. why can't you have both? People have different groups of friends now.. so they spread themselves out more thinly.. if they try to spend time with all of their friends.. they fall apart. I'm sorry; I'm not sure what I'm saying. I was just typing out stuff...
Anyway, I'm torn in two again. Not literally. And not like split-personality. It's more like my heart is trying to be in two places at once.. or maybe it's trying to be where my body isn't physically.
Ah, whatever. 3 months. They will be fun. I will be happy. But half of my heart will not be here.