Wow I am really on a roll for lj posts
If only I could get my writing groove back ans acutally post something on pasleseul
Anyways. I feel like I'm going to tell the following anecdote very poorly, but whatever. So today, at work, there was this guy. This is acutally not the first time I've seem him. Last time I thought he was giving me crazy eyes, (like, eyes open really wide staring at me like he's going to kill me) and today I thought he was doing it again, but as it turns out, they weren't meant to be crazy. He was just looking at me because he wanted to know my name. And I, of course, just told him, because it never seems to occur to me that maybe this is not ALL someone wants from me. So he struck up a conversation, which, for most people, wouldn't really be a big deal, except it's me. And for me, unexpectedly having to talk to strangers is like THE. MOST. STRESSFUL EXPERIENCE. OF MY LIFE. So even though this guy was being so completely nice and polite to me I was like OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD the entire time. Also, I think he's mildly flirting with me and will at some point ask for my number and I won't know how to say no without offending him because I don't know how to handle social interactions.
So then, because I can't catch a break, this guy is also in the subway. At first when I saw him I didn't think he saw me so I just kinda wandered in the other direction down the platform, but he DID see me and caught up with me and talked to me more. And even though he was still being SO NICE and I only had to ride ONE stop with him, I was still like, on the verge of tears the entire time. Except, by verge, I mean one step back from the verge. Not like anyone could tell or anything. But like...what is WRONG with me? A perfectly nice person talks to me for FIVE minutes and I just freak the fuck out. My heart rate was elevated the entire way home. Maybe it's just because I was already in a terrible mood. What really baffles me is that while all this is going on inside my head I somehow manage to carry on a reasonable conversation. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE IF YOU JUST COMPLETELY DISCONNECT YOUR FACE AND MOUTH FROM YOUR BRAIN AMBER. Anyways. I feel like I'm just whining now. It's just some dude Amber, calm down.
Also, my watch strap finally wore through today so...no more time telling for me. I think I'll just go read My Cat is a Jerk to cheer myself.
Anyways. I feel like I'm going to tell the following anecdote very poorly, but whatever. So today, at work, there was this guy. This is acutally not the first time I've seem him. Last time I thought he was giving me crazy eyes, (like, eyes open really wide staring at me like he's going to kill me) and today I thought he was doing it again, but as it turns out, they weren't meant to be crazy. He was just looking at me because he wanted to know my name. And I, of course, just told him, because it never seems to occur to me that maybe this is not ALL someone wants from me. So he struck up a conversation, which, for most people, wouldn't really be a big deal, except it's me. And for me, unexpectedly having to talk to strangers is like THE. MOST. STRESSFUL EXPERIENCE. OF MY LIFE. So even though this guy was being so completely nice and polite to me I was like OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD the entire time. Also, I think he's mildly flirting with me and will at some point ask for my number and I won't know how to say no without offending him because I don't know how to handle social interactions.
So then, because I can't catch a break, this guy is also in the subway. At first when I saw him I didn't think he saw me so I just kinda wandered in the other direction down the platform, but he DID see me and caught up with me and talked to me more. And even though he was still being SO NICE and I only had to ride ONE stop with him, I was still like, on the verge of tears the entire time. Except, by verge, I mean one step back from the verge. Not like anyone could tell or anything. But like...what is WRONG with me? A perfectly nice person talks to me for FIVE minutes and I just freak the fuck out. My heart rate was elevated the entire way home. Maybe it's just because I was already in a terrible mood. What really baffles me is that while all this is going on inside my head I somehow manage to carry on a reasonable conversation. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE IF YOU JUST COMPLETELY DISCONNECT YOUR FACE AND MOUTH FROM YOUR BRAIN AMBER. Anyways. I feel like I'm just whining now. It's just some dude Amber, calm down.
Also, my watch strap finally wore through today so...no more time telling for me. I think I'll just go read My Cat is a Jerk to cheer myself.