(no subject)
I'm so stressed. I feel like im either about to blow up or break down. Just not quite sure which one yet. I cannot wait for this week to be over. I just feel like just about every aspect of my life is being twisted around right now and im just not as comfortable as i would normally be. Its making me just not be myself and freak out about everything, overanalyze and be way too hard on myself. I never used to be one that compared myself to others, but here I am finding myself doing it...which certainly doesnt make anything any better. And of course im way harder on myself then them. I just need a break to get everything together and in order. I just need a break to relax and be happy and feel like myself again. You know, maybe genuinely smile or something of the like. I just feel like things are out of control right now and it makes me feel vulnerable and I hate it. It makes me start to doubt everything.
Part of me is dying to go home for break. Then there's that part of me that just wants to veg out here. If I'm not able to work at mt holly then there is no real reason for me to go home other then to see the fam and friends for a bit. And that right there is gonna be stress considering shit started again with my sister. I may just go home for a week and then if I find I can't work at Mt holly or get a decent amount of hours I might just come back up here. Start looking for a job for next semester..cuz money is tight and I hate having all this loan money weighing over my head. I found one place hiring for next semester that would be great. I need to go in there some moment when I have a minute to breathe.
ugh i have to go.
Part of me is dying to go home for break. Then there's that part of me that just wants to veg out here. If I'm not able to work at mt holly then there is no real reason for me to go home other then to see the fam and friends for a bit. And that right there is gonna be stress considering shit started again with my sister. I may just go home for a week and then if I find I can't work at Mt holly or get a decent amount of hours I might just come back up here. Start looking for a job for next semester..cuz money is tight and I hate having all this loan money weighing over my head. I found one place hiring for next semester that would be great. I need to go in there some moment when I have a minute to breathe.
ugh i have to go.