Life as I know it
So, in the last few weeks, life certainly has changed for me. I've started a new job, working at Masterbrand Cabinets in Huntingburg. FOr once, I feel like I'm in the right place at the right time. They are bringing down a plant from Canada, and I'm one of the lead people, organinzing the door department. Perhaps it is from my always taking on more responsibility than I should, but I actually come home and feel like I am accomplishing something. While it isn't the life that I always wanted, I think I am actaully right where i need to be. It's a good feeling.
Perhaps a downside on that was something that happened this weekend. The coroner or the funeral home released Jeff's ashes. My brother was with Jeff's family when they each took a handful of Jeff's ashes and let them go. A pretty tramautic experience for my brother, obviously. And, in a way, I wish I had been there, to say my last good-bye. It has really affected me more than I ever thought, because of my antagnostic opinion of Jeff. But, I have come to grips with my past, and have actually regretted his untimely departure from my life. I've actually been missing him. I think of him often, especially this weekend, as it was Keisha's graduation. I have never been prouder of my family than I was Saturday afternoon, as my sister walked across that stage to recieve her diploma. I told her as much too, and also made a complete ass of myself cheering for her. I let her know how much I loved her and was proud of her in that simple act. And, I know in my heart that Jeff would have been proud of Keisha, as he was of me. I cannot begin to understand how it must have felt to Keisha knowing that Jeff wasn't there. I KNOW that he was there in spirit, and Keisha also said that she saw him, sitting in the first row, staring at her, cheering for her. I guess I just took it for granted how he was always there for me.
Well, it's getting late and 4:50 a.m. comes early. I just wanted to update this and give myself a little comfort, finally writing down how this weekend was.
Perhaps a downside on that was something that happened this weekend. The coroner or the funeral home released Jeff's ashes. My brother was with Jeff's family when they each took a handful of Jeff's ashes and let them go. A pretty tramautic experience for my brother, obviously. And, in a way, I wish I had been there, to say my last good-bye. It has really affected me more than I ever thought, because of my antagnostic opinion of Jeff. But, I have come to grips with my past, and have actually regretted his untimely departure from my life. I've actually been missing him. I think of him often, especially this weekend, as it was Keisha's graduation. I have never been prouder of my family than I was Saturday afternoon, as my sister walked across that stage to recieve her diploma. I told her as much too, and also made a complete ass of myself cheering for her. I let her know how much I loved her and was proud of her in that simple act. And, I know in my heart that Jeff would have been proud of Keisha, as he was of me. I cannot begin to understand how it must have felt to Keisha knowing that Jeff wasn't there. I KNOW that he was there in spirit, and Keisha also said that she saw him, sitting in the first row, staring at her, cheering for her. I guess I just took it for granted how he was always there for me.
Well, it's getting late and 4:50 a.m. comes early. I just wanted to update this and give myself a little comfort, finally writing down how this weekend was.