i saw myself mirrored in the placid lake's deep waters...

[ambers_skittles]

today was a nothing day.
i went to the beach and sat there letting the sand seep between my fingers.
i had a lot to think about.
like, where is my life going?
what am i really living for?
lately things have been a lot less than perfect.
i am begining to doubt myself again.
i hate having to look for reassurance in myself.
it seems like such a waste.
sometimes i have to stop and ask myself...
wow, am i a bitch?
what happened to me being free in spirit?
was i ever free?
it seems to me like i will never know officially.
i have ended a lot of friendships lately.
for some sick reason, i am not at all upset by it.
i feel like i am doing what is best for myself.
that is all that really matters.
yeah, that could be precieved as inconsiderate.
i really dont care.
today i told my mom that i dont want her to talk to me ever again.
we'll see how long that lasts.
hmm.
i am just spiraling downward.
well, at least my grades are perfect.
4.3 bitches.
ha.