everytime he came close, the urge to kiss him on his lips intensified...
so tonight i went to the show. amazing stuff. i of course saw kerry...the most fantastic girl. I took some pretty sweet pictures. I wanna take your picture and get wit cha! haha. i am so funny. Tonight i had burger king after the show...actually it was like 20 min ago...coutesy of Christopher woolfe driving my poor butt around. he is such a sweety! really. I LOVE julia salazar. she not only buts up with my inconsistent bullcrap, but she is always there to just listen and correct me when i am very wrong. which is a lot of the time. I hgave a huge crush. why am i so dumb? its not that i am dumb, its just I am extremely confused. I am listening to Damien Rice right now..."Ican't take my eyes off of you...I can't take my eyes off of you...I can't take my eyes off of you...I cant take my eyes off of YOU." That is basically how I feel about my crush. I am so terribly indecicive with these "crush" things. I have a terrible habit of leading people on. really i do. i dont intentioanlly do it, i just do. I feel so badly when I do it. I try not to. I just dont know how to explain it. This poor boy at the show tonight had a crush on me and I was like oh well, im not really ready for a relationship. I feel that that is partially true. i believe I need to put my focus more on God before I can even concentrate on anyone else. I believe i need to become more connected to Him. He is my maker. He is majestic, glorious, righteous, amazing, just, divine, almighty. He is just sooo many things to me. That is the man i want to have in my life at the moment. I think i am depending on God's divine will to dictate whether or not I even have a relationship with my crush. I prayed in the car on the way home, and all through the show...because i couldnt help but think about my crush all night...that if God will's for this guy and me to be together, He will bring us together. I sure hope so. This boy seems amazing. I just really feel like I deserve an amazing boy right now. I mean, especially since I have gone through some pretty terrible ones. lol. I love Jesus. ha. I love who God made me to be. Question, am i too sarcastic? whatever...