(no subject)

[amberoriginal]

wow. tonight brought me back to feelings i had not experienced in a while.
nothing i could just shrug off.
instead i just sunk.
wow.
that hasn't happened in a while.
like a ticking fucking time bomb.
was he just looking for release?
i can't deal with it. i don't want to deal with it. at this age, i don't think i should have to.
but i'm sure tomorrow i'll be forced to apologize.
to be nice.
or nothing will ever get accomplished.
i hate being a bigger person sometimes.

i feel better right now.
hearing, and knowing, and feeling that there is at least one person there for you always makes this easier.
i don't feel so alone.

i know we all have our down points.
our times.
our thoughts.
where we sit alone and cry.

maybe we all need that.
maybe we all just don't need to be alone.
ashamed by that which we think.
have a release.
a person who's shoulder you can rest your head on.

right now.
it's time for music.
i want to clear my head a bit.
before i fall asleep.

and hope i have good dreams.
that i can remember when i wake up in the morning.

those are always a bright start to a day.