Funk...Gratitude?
Still waiting to be called to this birth and I just keep thinking…I really want to limit my practice to homebirth.
My client's induced labor is becoming a long, drawn out saga already. I sit around
waiting to get a call, all the while trying to mess with my work and momming schedule in order to make myself available. I know this is my job, and believe me, I love me work. It’s just SO unnecessary. If her labor were to start on it’s own I would not have to deal with this. As the years go on, I have a harder time being at the mercy of unnecessary procedures and impatient doctors. It really is time to get my ass to Midwifery school. Being a Doula can be very, very frustrating, as you can see. And yes, I know a lot of the time medical intervention is necessary and I am so pleased we have it available. It’s the business of necessity that gets me in this funk.
Moving on.
I am going to try really hard not to be so pissy. Although, I have been generally pissy lately, and I don’t really know why. In the midst of my pissiness at work today, my boss said “I wanna be Amber when I grow up”. I said “Shit. Why? What’s so great about my life?”.
“Well, you’re only 25 and you own your home already. You have an amazing relationship, a great kid, and a promising career ahead of you”.
I felt like an ass. He’s right, I do have a beautiful life. Even if the little stuff, like laundry or bills or a difficult client situation get me all upset.
I’m going to try to meditate on that for a while.
My client's induced labor is becoming a long, drawn out saga already. I sit around
waiting to get a call, all the while trying to mess with my work and momming schedule in order to make myself available. I know this is my job, and believe me, I love me work. It’s just SO unnecessary. If her labor were to start on it’s own I would not have to deal with this. As the years go on, I have a harder time being at the mercy of unnecessary procedures and impatient doctors. It really is time to get my ass to Midwifery school. Being a Doula can be very, very frustrating, as you can see. And yes, I know a lot of the time medical intervention is necessary and I am so pleased we have it available. It’s the business of necessity that gets me in this funk.
Moving on.
I am going to try really hard not to be so pissy. Although, I have been generally pissy lately, and I don’t really know why. In the midst of my pissiness at work today, my boss said “I wanna be Amber when I grow up”. I said “Shit. Why? What’s so great about my life?”.
“Well, you’re only 25 and you own your home already. You have an amazing relationship, a great kid, and a promising career ahead of you”.
I felt like an ass. He’s right, I do have a beautiful life. Even if the little stuff, like laundry or bills or a difficult client situation get me all upset.
I’m going to try to meditate on that for a while.