Waste All My Time Just Thinking of You, Part Four
Part Three
“Why didn’t you tell me you were awesome at bowling?” Joe complained as he and Nick walked back from the bowling alley, linked hands swinging between them.
Nick smirked. “Maybe I would have if you’d told me that was where we were going.”
Joe just stuck his tongue out at Nick in response.
“Don’t be a sore loser,” Nick went on cheerfully. “I’ll make it up to you.”
Joe snorted. “Oh yeah? How?”
Nick lowered his voice and leaned further into Joe. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and find out.”
Joe shivered as he felt Nick’s breath against his neck. It was clear what Nick had in mind to make it up to him. “I can’t wait,” he managed to say in reply.
Nick brushed his lips over the skin of Joe’s neck before he stood up straight again and picked up his pace. “You’re just gonna have to though, aren’t you?” he teased.
“I guess so,” Joe agreed. “But not too long, right?”
Nick shook his head. “Nah. Unlike some people I could name, I’m not a masochist like that.”
“Hey!” Joe bumped Nick’s hip with his own, tightening his grip on his hand when Nick stumbled. “Be nice.”
Nick snorted. “Be nice? I’m not the one who just tried to throw you to the ground.”
“Oh, shut up, I did not,” Joe retorted.
Nick ignored him. “It’s okay, I see how it is. You’re jealous of my superior bowling skills, and thought the only way you’d ever get better is to eliminate the competition.”
“Nick,” Joe said seriously, and Nick paused to look at him. “I wouldn’t be better with you gone. I’d be a lot worse.”
Nick looked at him a little while longer, and Joe had to resist the urge to squirm. Sure, that was a long way from ‘I love you,’ but he’d still just confessed to something, and Nick’s silence was unnerving.
Finally though, Nick broke out into a grin, the kind he normally tried to hide, with his whole face lit up and all of his teeth showing. Crooked teeth or not, Joe loved that smile. And seeing it then, Joe relaxed a little.
“Me too,” Nick said, and Joe couldn’t help but kiss him, right there in the middle of the street. The kiss was short, but definitely not innocent, as Joe curled his tongue into Nick’s mouth immediately, wanting to be as close to Nick as possible, the only way he knew to express what he was feeling towards the other boy.
When Joe stepped away again, Nick looked a little dazed. “Umm. So. Do you wanna watch a movie at your place instead of walking me home?”
“Yes,” Joe replied immediately. “But I thought you had to be home soon?”
Nick shrugged. “I was supposed to be. I have church in the morning. But, hang on, here.” Nick fished his cell phone out of his pocket with his free hand, pressed a button and held it to his ear.
“Mom? Hi, sorry, I know it’s late. Is it okay if I just stay over at Joe’s tonight? It’s kind of late and I don’t wanna walk back…yes, of course I have my kit.” Nick rolled his eyes. “Okay, thanks, Mom. Love you too. Goodnight.” Nick slid his phone back into his pocket. “There, problem solved.”
“You’re staying over?” Joe asked, a little thrill running through him at the thought.
“Yeah, I…is that okay?” Nick asked, suddenly looking unsure.
Joe squeezed Nick’s hand and smiled. “That’s so okay.”
Nick squeezed back and returned the smile.
They walked the rest of the way back to Joe’s apartment in companionable silence, hands still linked between them. As they got closer, though, Joe gently let go and started looking in his pockets for his keys. “Uh oh,” he muttered.
Nick snorted. “Looking for these?” he asked, holding up Joe’s keys.
Joe felt his face heat up. “Where were they?”
“In my pocket,” Nick replied. “Where I put them when we left the bowling alley, after I found them on top of my sweater.”
Now that he thought about it, Joe did remember taking his keys out of his pocket and tossing them on the empty chair with Nick’s cardigan a few frames into their first game when he discovered that bowling in tight pants with sharp objects in your pocket wasn’t the best idea.
“Oh,” Joe said meekly. “Right.” He accepted the keys from Nick, then unlocked the outer door to the apartment. He let Nick go in ahead of him, then followed him up to the top floor and the door to his own apartment. He unlocked that door too, going inside first and turning on the lights.
“So, make yourself at home,” Joe said, kicking off his shoes as soon as the door had shut behind Nick. “Go pick out a movie, I’ll be right there.”
While Nick took his shoes off too and started looking through Joe’s DVD collection, Joe tossed his keys in their usual place on the counter, removed his socks, and then locked the apartment door. “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Joe asked Nick, who was currently putting a disc into the player.
Nick shook his head as he took off his cardigan and then moved over to the couch and flopped down. “No, I’m all set. I do want you to come over here, though.”
Joe smiled. “I can do that.” He grabbed the remote on his way over, then settled himself next to Nick, who immediately curled into his side. Joe skipped to the menu, and raised his eyebrows when he saw what Nick had chosen.
“Shut up. I’ve had the songs stuck in my head since last week when I played some for the kids at the hospital,” Nick said defensively, before Joe could say anything. “And you’re the one who owns it on DVD anyway.”
“It was Frankie’s, actually,” Joe said, hitting play. “And it’s been forever since I’ve watched The Lion King.” He honestly wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get through the whole thing. But as he wrapped his arm around Nick and pulled him closer, he decided it couldn’t hurt to try. And if he had to turn it off, well, he was sure Nick would understand.
They both gave their full attention during all of “Circle of Life,” but not long after Rafiki had held up baby Simba for the crowd below, Nick turned away from the TV and further into Joe, mouthing at his neck and turning their innocent cuddling into something else entirely.
“You’re not paying attention to the movie,” Joe managed to say, although with Nick now sucking on his pulse point, it didn’t come out as smart-assed as he’d intended.
Nick pulled away slightly to answer, and Joe wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed that he hadn’t left a mark. “Seen it before,” he said, with a little smirk. “So I’d rather pay attention to you.”
“You’ve seen me before too,” Joe pointed out.
Nick pulled back a little more, and looked Joe in the eyes. “Not all of you,” he said softly, all traces of his previous smirk gone.
Joe swallowed nevously, watching Nick’s eyes follow the motion of his throat as he did. “Nick,” he began unsteadily. “Do you want-?”
“You? Absolutely.”
And Joe just had to kiss him then, at the sincerity in his voice, the way he made it sound so simple. He pressed his mouth to Nick’s urgently, opening for him the moment he felt Nick’s tongue against his lips. Nick explored his mouth carefully, thoroughly, like it was the first time he’d been allowed, his tongue tracing Joe’s teeth, the slick of his cheek, the rasp of his tongue against his own. And Joe kissed back just as thoroughly, exploring all the places in Nick’s mouth he might have missed when they’d kissed before. He moved closer to Nick as the kiss went on and got sloppier and more desperate, gently pushing him backwards. Joe had Nick laid out on the couch with one hand up his shirt before Nick nipped at his bottom lip and nudged at his shoulder to get him to stop.
Joe jerked away as though he’d been burned, ready to stammer apologies, but Nick tugged him back in and pecked his lips. “Joe. Chill. I just think, maybe, this might be more comfortable if we moved to your bed?”
“Oh. Yeah, you’re probably right.” Carefully, Joe climbed off the couch and turned off the TV, before extending a hand down to Nick. Nick took it and let Joe help him to his feet. Then, with a shy smile, Joe led Nick down the hall to his bedroom.
When they got inside, Joe let Nick’s hand fall before he looked at him seriously. “Nick, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t-”
“No,” Nick interrupted. “I want to.”
“Well that’s. Good. I want to, too.” Joe cleared his throat. “Anyway, um. Have you ever…?”
Nick blushed. “Once,” he replied softly. “It was kind of a mistake, but, Joe, this won’t be.”
“Are you sure?” Joe asked.
Rather than answer, Nick kissed Joe again, pulling him close with his hands on his waist, thumbs up under his shirt and rubbing circles on his hips. Joe took his cue from Nick, kissing back and sliding his hand under Nick’s shirt and up his back, feeling goosebumps break out on his skin. And suddenly, that wasn’t enough. Joe wanted to see the goosebumps rising on Nick’s skin, wanted to see his muscles working under the surface as he moved. So he took hold of the hem of Nick’s polo and slowly lifted it over his head, only breaking the kiss at the last possible moment.
As he dropped the shirt to the floor, Nick tried to reconnect their lips, but Joe stopped him with a hand pressed to his chest.
“Joe-” Nick protested, but Joe shook his head.
“Shhh,” he said. “Let me look at you.”
Nick blushed, dull flush spreading down his neck, and his arms twitched as though he wanted to cover himself, but he kept them at his sides as Joe let his eyes roam freely over Nick’s naked torso.
Nick was all but hairless, a small happy trail leading down from his bellybutton into the waistband of his jeans. His tummy curved slightly outward, soft and vulnerable where the rest of him was hard. His nipples, dusky and brown, were already pebbled up, though whether from cold or arousal, Joe wasn’t sure.
He was gorgeous.
Joe moved in to kiss him again, but this time, Nick was the one to stop him. “Nuh-uh,” he said. “You have to take yours off, too.” Joe shrugged and started fiddling with top button of his shirt, but Nick pulled at his hand. “No. I changed my mind. Let me do it.”
Joe let his hands drop to his sides and stood passively as Nick unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt. Then Nick hesitated, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the skin he’d just revealed. Joe’s breath hitched, surprised, but Nick didn’t stop, just kept unbuttoning and kissing, slowly crouching down before eventually sinking down to his knees as he unbuttoned the last few buttons, pressing a final kiss to the place just below Joe’s bellybutton.
Joe couldn’t help but think all kinds of dirty thoughts as he looked down at Nick kneeling before him, so he had to admit he was a bit disappointed when Nick stood up again. He didn’t complain as Nick kissed him though, hands pushing the shirt down his shoulders to fall to the floor at his feet.
Nick moved away from Joe’s mouth, ignoring his whine of protest, trailing his lips down his jaw to his neck, where he nipped briefly at the join where his neck met his shoulder. Joe made a sound of approval and tilted his head to give Nick better access, so Nick sucked a mark into the skin there. Finally he raised his head, and gently pushed Joe backwards half a step.
“I wanna look at you, too,” he murmured.
Joe squirmed and averted his eyes, unable to watch Nick watch him. Finally though, Joe snapped his eyes back to Nick as he pressed his thumb into the tattoo on his left hip. Then, Joe pushed his jeans off the rest of the way, taking his boxer briefs with them, wiggling a little to get them down his thighs.
“Joe,” Nick said, voice sounding strangled.
“What?” Joe replied, hoping he sounded blasé. “I’m just trying to move things along a little.”
Joe wasn’t exactly prepared to be tackled to the bed, but he didn’t really mind either, he thought, as Nick proceeded to kiss him messily. It was so good, Nick’s hand in his hair and his mouth moving over Joe’s, their bare chests pressed together and the denim of Nick’s jeans providing just enough friction to make Joe gasp and thrust up into him.
“Off, get these off,” Joe managed to say, pulling at Nick’s belt loop as Nick turned his attention to his neck yet again.
“Help me?” Nick murmured, lifting his hips a little.
Joe fumbled between them to pop the button on the jeans, pushing them down awkwardly with Nick’s boxers, Nick moving his hips in a way that he seemed to think was helping (though it most decidedly wasn’t) until they were down far enough that he could kick them off.
Nick hissed as he lowered himself back down and their lower halves met for the first time, hard cocks sliding against each other as they moved together.
“Fuck me,” Joe groaned, arching up into Nick. “Please, Nick.”
Nick pulled back just far enough to look at Joe. “I-I’ve never-” he stammered, but Joe just shook his head.
“I don’t care. I want you to. Please?”
Finally, Nick nodded, though he still looked uncertain. Joe surged up to kiss him again, even as he reached over and fumbled in his nightstand for lube and a condom. He handed the items to Nick, then broke the kiss to smile at him.
Nick smiled back, though he blushed as he did so. Joe couldn’t help but chuckle.
“What?” Nick asked self-consciously, pausing in the act of opening the cap on the lube.
Joe shook his head. “Nothing. I just think it’s cute that you can be so confident and so shy at the same time. I mean, not even an hour ago you were molesting me on the couch, and now you’re blushing.”
“Shut up, I was not molesting you,” Nick mumbled.
Joe chuckled and kissed Nick quickly. “If you say so.”
“I do,” Nick replied, finally succeeding in opening the lube and pouring some over his fingers. “Now…are you sure you want me to-?”
“Yes,” Joe replied immediately. “I am.”
Nick bit his lip as he moved his hand down, sliding one slick finger into Joe’s body. Joe pushed back into it immediately, whimpering. Encouraged, Nick began moving before carefully adding another finger and continuing to move, twisting his fingers and opening Joe up for him, adding more lube as needed. When Nick added a third finger and got the angle just right, Joe couldn’t keep from groaning out loud.
Nick froze. “Did I hurt you?”
“God, Nick, no. Keep going,” Joe managed to say, squirming and pushing back on Nick’s fingers. “Actually, no, you know what? I’m good, you can…”
Nick swallowed hard, but withdrew his fingers. “Okay,” he said, reaching for the condom. He tore open the packet and rolled it onto his erect cock before grabbing the lube again, pouring a generous amount into his hand and slicking himself up, biting his lip as he did. Finally he positioned himself, ready to push inside.
“You ready?” he asked, his voice shaking.
Joe nodded. “Are you?”
Rather than answer, Nick pressed inside, and Joe gasped at the stretch and burn. It wasn’t bad, but it was intense, and judging by the look on Nick’s face as he pushed in further, he felt it too. When Nick bottomed out, he stopped moving with obvious effort to give Joe (and, Joe suspected, himself) a minute to get used to him being fully inside.
“Okay?” he asked and Joe nodded again.
“So okay. God, Nick, please move.”
Nick pulled out almost completely before sliding back in, again and then again, starting off slow and kind of jerky before getting into it and establishing a rhythm. He shifted, trying to find the right angle again, and Joe jolted and whimpered as pleasure sparked through him. Nick sped up, hitting the right angle every time.
“Joe,” Nick said desperately, “Joe, I’m almost-”
“Yeah,” Joe replied breathlessly, reaching down to fist himself. “Yeah, Nick, me too.” The added sensation of his hand stroking his cock sent Joe over the edge first, and he came hard between them.
Nick followed not long after, thrusting into Joe once more before he stilled, face scrunched up and little sounds escaping his throat. He eventually pulled out (causing Joe to whimper involuntarily) and removed the condom, tying it off and tossing into the trashcan near the vanity before he slid off of Joe and curled into his right side, immediately buying his face in Joe’s neck and wrapping his arm around Joe’s waist.
Idly stroking the bare skin of Nick’s shoulder, Joe turned his head and kissed Nick’s curls lightly. “That was amazing, Nick,” he murmured.
“Yeah?” Nick murmured back.
“Mm-hm,” Joe confirmed. He felt Nick’s answering grin against the skin of his neck, and he pulled Nick even closer in a sort of sideways half-hug. “Sleep now, okay?” he murmured.
“Okay Joe,” Nick agreed, and Joe closed his eyes, lulled to sleep by the sounds of Nick breathing.
Nick opened his eyes and stretched, frowning when he realized he was alone. Joe’s side of the bed was cold, indicating he’d been up for awhile, although when he looked at the clock, it was only nine in the morning. He would have taken Joe for the kind of person who slept in on weekends. Nick just lay there for a second, relishing his own sleep-in. Normally, he was up by seven on Sundays to go to church with his parents.
Soon though, Nick got out of bed and started hunting around for something to put on, grimacing when he felt the dried come low on his belly. Finally locating his boxers from the night before, Nick figured that was good enough before he padded down the hall to the bathroom to clean up a little before he went looking for Joe.
Joe wasn’t hard to find; he stood at the stove in the kitchen flipping pancakes, wearing his underwear from the night before and a ridiculous pink floral apron. Nick couldn’t help but snicker.
Joe spun around when he heard him, and grinned. “Good morning, Nick,” he said. Then, before Nick could respond, Joe pointed his spatula threateningly. “And not one word about the apron.”
“I wasn’t gonna say anything,” Nick lied. “Good morning, Joe.”
“I bet you weren’t,” Joe muttered. Then he grinned again. “You like pancakes, right?”
Nick nodded. “Yes, I like pancakes. And I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go get my kit.”
Joe nodded, and Nick returned to the bedroom, fishing his kit from the back pocket of his abandoned jeans, before heading back to the kitchen and sitting at the table, taking the items he’d need of his kit. He efficiently pricked his finger and set up a test strip, waiting patiently for the meter to beep.
“How’s it looking?” Joe asked, when he heard the beep.
Nick grimaced at the high number. “Uh. Not so hot. But I can handle it.” He measured out a dose of insulin and injected it into his upper arm. As he pulled out the needle, he caught Joe wincing out of the corner of his eye. “It’s not that bad,” he said, putting everything away and closing his kit back up. “Really, you get used to it.”
Joe looked unconvinced. “I hate needles,” he said. “Have I mentioned that yet?”
“It might have come up,” Nick replied.
Joe shuddered exaggeratedly. “Gross. But seriously, are you gonna be okay?”
Nick nodded. “Yeah. I should probably skip the syrup on my pancakes, but I’ll be fine.”
Joe finally smiled. “Good. Because breakfast is ready.”
He carried two plates with three pancakes apiece over to the table, then returned for forks and glasses, then moved to the fridge for syrup and butter and orange juice, and, “Joe? Do you want some help?”
“Nope,” Joe said cheerfully, pushing the refrigerator door shut with his foot and struggling to the table with everything in his arms. “I am making you breakfast, and I got it. What do you want to drink?”
“Uh, water would be good,” Nick answered, catching the stick of butter that was set on landing on the floor. “But I can get it.”
Joe plucked the butter from Nick’s hand. “Why are you so against me making you breakfast?” he asked, pouting. “I’m just trying to be nice.”
Nick laughed. “Okay, Joe. You can make me breakfast.”
“Thank you. Was that so hard?” Joe took Nick’s glass to the sink and filled it with water, filled his own glass with orange juice, and then replaced the carton in the fridge. Finally, he took off his apron and hung it on a knob to one of the doors of the cabinets before sitting down beside Nick.
While Joe busied himself putting butter and syrup on his pancakes, Nick cut a piece off one of his with his fork. As it turned out, the pancakes were slightly burnt on the outside and slightly uncooked on the inside, but Nick didn’t say a word.
Joe’s face fell when he took his own first bite. “Fuck, Nick, I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Nick asked. “You made me breakfast, Joe. I don’t care if it’s not perfect. I’m just happy you did this for me.”
Joe looked a little happier. “You’re awesome,” he said, shoving another bite in his mouth. Then he made a face and poured on a little more syrup. “Make that super awesome,” he amended, as Nick took another bite too, but plain.
Nick just smiled around his mouthful of pancake. “I know I am,” he said when he’d swallowed. “And Joe, seriously, thank you for making me breakfast.”
“Next time,” Joe promised. “Next time, I’ll make something else that won’t be gross and uncooked.”
“I like omelets?” Nick offered.
Joe nodded. “I can do omelets. Okay. I’ll make you omelets the next time you stay the night.”
“And when is that gonna be?” Nick asked, cutting off another piece of pancake.
Joe thought for a second, then suggested, “Friday? You do owe me another date, after all, since you were grounded last time. And I’m getting TV some time this week,” he added enticingly.
“I’d say yes even if you weren’t,” Nick assured him. “But I can do Friday.”
Joe grinned. “Great.” Then he leaned over to kiss Nick, and they stopped talking for awhile, their pancakes getting cold while Nick licked all traces of sweetness from Joe’s mouth.
-
When Nick woke up on Monday morning, he immediately knew that something was still off. He felt like shit, the way only fluctuating blood sugar levels could make him feel, and he felt a little bit nauseous. Not the best way to start his day.
Nick dragged himself over to his closet, where he picked out his clothes without much caring what he wore. He had pants and a shirt, he was pretty sure there weren’t any holes or stains in them, that was good enough. Finally, he tugged on a pair of socks and jammed his feet into the first pair of shoes he found, then made his way into the kitchen and took out his testing supplies and insulin.
His customary check of his blood sugar revealed that it was high again, and he groaned as he measured out a dose of insulin. After he’d gotten home from Joe’s the day before, he’d managed to get his blood sugar to level out, and he thought he was on top of it this time.
Nick just didn’t understand. He was doing everything he was supposed to be doing: eating right, exercising, taking insulin. Sure, a few weeks ago things had gotten screwed up because of changing body chemistry or whatever, but that couldn’t be happening again, could it?
No, Nick was pretty sure he could handle it for real, this time. He inserted the needle into his thigh and pushed down on the plunger. He’d be fine. He’d make sure of it.
He packed his supplies away again, then surveyed the contents of the cupboards and refrigerator, trying to find something to eat that wouldn’t raise his blood sugar too much, but would also keep him from starving until lunch.
Finding something, Nick sat down at the table to eat, glancing at the clock every so often to make sure he wouldn’t be late for school. He was just finishing and cleaning up his mess when his mom walked into the kitchen, her armful of dishtowels revealing that she’d been doing laundry already that morning.
“Good morning, sweetie,” she said, opening a drawer and putting the towels away. “How are you this morning?”
“I’m fine,” Nick replied. “I was just about to leave for school.”
His mom fixed him with a critical stare. “Are you sure? You don’t look like you feel very good.”
Nick gave her a wan smile. “My levels have been a little inconsistent the past couple days. But I’m fine, Mom. I can handle it.”
His mom sighed. “Are you sure, Nick?” she said again.
Nick nodded. “Absolutely. And I can’t miss school today, Mom, I have to give a presentation in my science class.”
“All right,” she finally relented. “Have a good day, sweetie.” She kissed his forehead, then left the room, carrying the dishrag Nick had used to wipe the table, presumably to put it in the wash.
Nick detoured back to his bedroom to grab his backpack, then headed out the door, walking down to the corner where he’d catch the school bus. When he got there, there were already a couple kids waiting, although there were still some who hadn’t shown up yet, too. Nick didn’t know any of them particularly well, so he pulled out his phone to text Kevin, knowing that his brother had an early class on Mondays.
hey bro u in class?
not yet, the reply read. doesn’t start till 8.
Nick checked the time. It was only twenty of. So he sent back to Kevin, do u have time to talk?
His phone buzzed almost immediately. 4 u, of course. Wats up?
just waiting for the bus. levels r a little weird lately.
The concerned big brother text came in right as Nick expected it to. r u ok????
yeah, he reassured Kevin. its just annoying. but I’ll be fine.
I hope so, Kevin’s reply read. And then, before Nick could open up a reply, his phone buzzed again. how was ur date w joe? ;)
Nick blushed when he read the second text, thinking about the date he and Joe had had that weekend. good.
did u put out?
Nick gaped at his cell phone screen. did u srsly just ask me that?
were u safe? Kevin persisted, and Nick composed his next text with his face burning.
yes. Now plz shut up.
ok. I have 2 go 2 class anyway. U should call later.
Nick snorted. what so u can give me a hard time some more?
its my job as ur big brother, sry :(
I bet. But ok. Talk to you later bro, love u.
Nick put away his phone just as the bus pulled up, and he filed on with everyone else, taking the empty seat next to one of the Sprouse twins. “Hey Cole,” he greeted him.
“Hi,” Cole replied. “Did you do the math homework this weekend?” Even though Cole was a sophomore like Nick, he was in the same geometry class, full of mostly juniors. Something to do with Cole having skipped Algebra I altogether, Nick wasn’t entirely sure. He liked Cole and his brother Dylan well enough, but they weren’t really friends.
Nick nodded, and Cole pulled out his notebook to ask Nick about one of the problems, and the discussion lasted until the bus pulled up to the school. There, Cole thanked Nick for his help and then went to find Dylan (who, Cole explained, had come in early to meet with a group for a history project) and their friends, and Nick headed to a bathroom to check his blood sugar again.
He got his meter set up with a strip, and waited for it to read his blood. When it beeped, Nick frowned. The number was lower than it had been when he first got up, but it still wasn’t exactly normal. He sighed and packed everything away again, tucking his kit into the front pocket of his backpack. Then he headed for his first period class, English, up on the second floor.
Halfway there, the first bell rang, and the halls suddenly swarmed with students all rushing not to be late for class. Nick shoved his way through, fortunately moving with the tide rather than against it, until he reached the door to his class and turned the knob to open it.
Joe pushed open the door to Starbucks, tall caramel frappucino in one hand, open cell phone in the other, intending to sit on the bench outside during his break, and promptly almost hit someone with the door. “Oh god, I’m sorry,” he apologized, looking up from his phone. “I didn’t-oh, it’s you.”
“‘Oh, it’s you’? Thanks a lot,” Nick said. “That’s the welcome I get when I come to surprise my boyfriend at work?”
Joe grinned apologetically. “Sorry. I mean, ahem. Oh, darling! It’s you! I’m so glad you came to see me!” And he planted a loud, obnoxious kiss on Nick’s cheek. “Better?”
“Much,” Nick replied, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand. “Minus the spit.”
“You love my spit,” Joe retorted. “So did you wanna buy something, or…?”
Nick shook his head, and Joe stepped outside, letting the door close. “Nah. Are you done your shift?”
Joe shook his head too, mirroring Nick. “No. I’m just on break for half an hour.”
“Oh. Well, I don’t have to go home right away. I can keep you company if you want?”
Joe smiled. “That’d be great.” He led the way over to the bench that had been his original destination, and they both sat down. “How was school?” he asked.
Nick shrugged. “It was fine. It was school. And it’s only Tuesday.”
“You know what that means?” Joe asked, taking a sip of his drink.
“No, what?” Nick asked, scooting a little closer and resting his hand on Joe’s thigh.
Joe took Nick’s hand in his own, squeezing a little. “Only three more days until I get to see you for real.”
Nick shrugged. “This feels pretty real to me.”
“Maybe,” Joe allowed. “But it’s not for very long. And Friday night, we’ll have hours together. If you want, I mean.”
Nick smirked. “Oh, I want. Trust me.”
Joe felt himself flush and hastily took another sip of his frozen drink. He looked up again and noticed Nick’s eyes fixed on him. “Do you want some?” he asked, offering Nick his cup.
Nick shook his head, but reached for Joe’s cup anyway. Confused, Joe let him take it, and he immediately set it on the ground before leaning forward and kissing him.
Joe immediately opened for Nick, feeling the other boy shiver as his warm tongue collided with Joe’s cold one. Joe felt kind of like shivering himself; it was intense, the temperature difference between their mouths, and he loved it. He pressed closer, tangling the fingers of his free hand in Nick’s hair and kissing him more urgently. Finally, Nick pulled away, their lips parting with a wet little sound.
“Tastes good,” he murmured.
Joe rescued his abandoned drink and took a sip. “You sure you don’t want any for real?”
Nick shook his head. “Better not. My levels have still been a little screwed up.”
Joe set the cup down himself and grabbed Nick’s chin, examining him closely. Now that he looked, he saw that Nick was pale, with purple smudges beneath his eyes. He definitely looked like he felt like crap.
“Nick-” Joe began, but Nick interrupted him, jerking his head out of Joe’s reach.
“I’m fine, Joe.”
“You don’t look fine,” Joe countered.
Nick shrugged. “My levels see-sawing just makes me feel a little under the weather, it’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing.”
“It is,” Nick said sharply. “Don’t worry about it.”
Joe sighed. “You’re my boyfriend, Nick, I’m gonna worry about you no matter what. Have you told someone about this yet?”
Nick looked away. “No.”
Joe frowned. “You’ve been off since, what, Saturday? And it’s Tuesday now? You really ought to tell someone, you know,” he persisted.
Nick scowled. “Joe, I know what I’m doing. I can handle it.”
“You can handle it? Isn’t that what you said last time?” It’s a low blow and Joe knew it, but he just wanted to get through to him somehow. It was his life they were talking about, after all.
Nick narrowed his eyes and pulled his hand away from where Joe still held it in his. “I know what happened last time, Joe, thanks,” he snapped.
Joe sighed again. “Nick, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help, you know.”
Nick glared. “Why don’t you try having no control of your own body, then you can tell me that.”
“I know it sucks, Nick, and I get-”
“No, okay? You don’t know,” Nick interrupted hotly.
Joe rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I think I understand not having control.”
“You don’t,” Nick snarled. “So don’t try to pretend you do. You have no idea.”
Joe glared. “I don’t get it?” he hissed. “Okay, no, I guess I don’t get not having control over my own body. But not having control in general? I more than get that. I had to watch my baby brother get sicker and sicker, and there was nothing I could do about it. I was his big brother, I was supposed to protect him, Nick, and I couldn’t do anything. So tell me. Are you sure I don’t know what you’re feeling?”
Nick closed his mouth.
“I thought so,” Joe muttered. “Okay, you know what, I just. Can’t do this right now. If you wanna get yourself killed, fine with me.” He stood up and walked back inside Starbucks, making it all the way to the break room before he slumped down to the floor, too drained to bother with a chair.
He never talked about Frankie. He never talked about his own guilt surrounding his death. But Nick had just infuriated him. He liked Nick a lot, was maybe even starting to fall in love with him, who knew, but god, how could he just ignore his own health like that? He really would end up dead if he carried on like that, and Joe couldn’t watch. He couldn’t lose Nick too.
Demi stuck her head into the break room. “Are you okay?”
Joe nodded.
“Did you have a fight with Nick?” Demi ventured.
Joe nodded again.
“Do you want me to leave you alone?”
“Please,” Joe managed. “Just give me a few minutes. I’ll be back out soon, okay? When my break’s done?”
“Okay,” Demi agreed softly. She left the break room, heading back out to man the register, and Joe let his head fall back to hit the wall with a resounding ‘thunk.’
Joe took a deep breath. He couldn’t fall apart, especially not at work. He’d just give Nick and himself time to cool off, and then try to talk to him again, without yelling and without bringing up anyone’s past. It would be okay.
Five minutes later, Joe stood up, tied on his abandoned Starbucks apron, and clocked back in before taking his place beside Demi at the other register. She glanced at him, and he gave her a weak smile to let her know that he was all right.
-
Joe sighed as he set his phone down beside him on the couch. His call to Nick had gone to voicemail, again, even though he knew Nick should be at lunch. Just like the one he’d made the previous day outside the hospital and the one the night before that when he got home from work. And the half-dozen texts he’d sent in between remained unanswered. Nick was clearly seriously pissed at him, and he hated it. Joe was ready to apologize to Nick for yelling, and some of the things he’d said, but he wasn’t going to apologize for being worried or telling him to ask for help when he needed it, and those seemed to be the things Nick was most angry about.
Joe picked up the remote instead, and flipped aimlessly through a couple TV channels, but not even the lure of channel surfing after being TV-less for over a year could keep him focused for very long. He sighed again and tossed the remote aside, not paying the slightest attention to the cooking show he’d stopped on.
He didn’t know how to fix things with Nick if Nick wouldn’t even answer his phone or return his texts. He could always go to Nick’s house to see if he’d talk to him in person, but maybe he should give Nick space? And what if Nick wasn’t answering his calls because something horrible had happened? Joe knew he wasn’t in the hospital, because he hadn’t happened to see him when he was there (and, okay, he’d asked Maria) but still, something could be wrong, Joe thought. So maybe he should go to Nick’s house?
“Argh!” Joe made a frustrated sound and flopped backwards against the couch cushions. He officially had no idea what to do, and no one he could ask for advice. He’d asked Demi the day before, but she’d just told him to wait Nick out, that he’d come around eventually.
“I don’t want eventually, I want right now,” Joe had mumbled, and Demi had just shrugged helplessly before hugging him.
This week officially sucked, Joe decided. Which was too bad, since it had started out so well.
The knock at his door was a welcome distraction, even though Joe had no idea who it could’ve been, since anyone who might’ve stopped by wouldn’t have been able to get all the way to his apartment. He got up and opened the door, eyes widening in shock when he saw Nick standing on the other side.
“Um, hi,” Nick said softly. “Can I come in?”
Joe stepped back wordlessly, letting Nick pass through the doorway and then closing the door behind him. “Why aren’t you at school?” he asked finally, since it wasn’t even one o’clock yet.
“I had a doctor’s appointment today,” Nick mumbled, standing in the middle of the kitchen and staring at his feet. “They’re gonna try adjusting my insulin again.”
“That’s good,” Joe replied. Then, “Nick….I’m sorry.”
Nick shook his head, still resolutely not meeting his eyes. “No, Joe, I’m sorry. I was out of line, and I know you were just worried about me.”
Joe sighed. “Yeah, but yelling at you wasn’t the way to get that across. I just, Nick, seriously, asking for help when you need it is one way of being more in control.”
Nick nodded. “I know, you’re right. That’s why I did. I kept thinking about what you said. So I made the appointment. I just feel like I should be able to handle it myself, you know? It’s my body and my illness and my responsibility.”
“I get that. But Nick, god, you have to be careful. I don’t even know what I’d do without you. I can’t lose someone else I care about. Not after…”
“You don’t talk about him much, do you?” Nick asked softly, finally looking up.
Joe shook his head. “No. It’s hard, you know?”
Nick bit his lip. “If you ever wanted to…I mean…you could talk to me,” he offered softly.
“Thank you,” Joe replied, just as soft. “Do you wanna stay awhile?”
Nick hesitated, then nodded.
“Then come on, let’s go sit down.” Joe led the way to the couch, letting Nick sit first and then taking the cushion next to him.
Nick glanced at the TV screen where the host was just pulling something out of the oven. “You got TV?”
Joe nodded as he turned it off and set the remote between them. “Yeah, yesterday. I told you that when I texted you.”
Nick flushed guiltily. “I’m sorry,” he apologized again. “I didn’t read any of your texts. On Tuesday I was still mad, and on Wednesday I was kind of mad but kind of just being a douche because I knew you were right.”
“So you ignored my calls for the same reason?”
Nick nodded, wincing.
“Even today’s?”
“Well, no, today I was in with the doctor when you called, and then I was gonna return your call, but I thought I’d come over and say it in person instead,” Nick said.
Joe nodded, then frowned. “Wait, how did you even get in here?”
“Someone who lives here was just leaving as I was arriving,” Nick explained. “So I could come up and surprise you instead of calling you to let me in.”
“Oh. Okay.”
They sat in slightly awkward silence for a few more seconds, until finally Nick asked in a small voice, “So do you forgive me for being an asshole?”
Joe held out for about three seconds before he hugged Nick tightly. “Of course I do. Just promise that you’ll take care of yourself, okay? And that means not always trying to take of yourself, yourself.”
Nick nodded into Joe’s neck as he hugged back.
Joe kissed Nick lightly as he pulled away, leaving one arm wrapped around him. He picked up the abandoned remote and turned the TV back on. “So what is there worth watching at this time of day, anyway?”
Nick snickered as he took the remote from Joe and flipped through channels, pausing long enough to show Joe flashes of each show as he named them off. “All My Children. The Price is Right. Maury. Dora the Explorer…”
Masterpost