(no subject)
Somethings things are complicated and hard. You want things to work out but parts of you just arent allowing it. when you are drunk things seem easier. That person you have missed for months seems to get along with you again. you can almost forget the fact that you are fighting. You want the fighting to stop, you just want to get along with them again. Then there is the ex. You just wish that was over and back to normal. You no longer feel the way you did, sure there are lingering feelings, but wont there always be for the special ones. You feel almost hippieish, where you want everyone to be happy and things to be peacful and there to be no complications. Love. Pity life is more complicated than love. Pity no one ever sees the pain you really feel. The mask you wear can seem cold, uninviting, and hurtful. You dont really feel that way. You have to project your image to keep the wall intact. I am reminded of pink floyds "The wall". Pink just had so much shit thrown at him that he eventually walled himself up. Sure he realized that was not what he wanted, but I am afraid that i really am putting another brick in the wall each time. I am really cold sometimes. I cant help it, im so tired of the bullshit. Peace, love, and alcohol.