"....i hate your tattoOoOoOosss. you have weak wrists, but i'll keep yoOoOoOuUuU..."
*yes the deftones yet another night in a row* hey all. i'm trying to keep warm in my frigid house. i'm trying to get my mom to let me out this weekend. i'm doomed to stay in my house until i have a jobby. which will hopefully be sometime soon. i'm calling all the places that i've applied to and maybe they'll get annoyed and get the hint that maybe
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"Hey dude, what's up?"
"Nothing much."
"What are you doing today?"
"I don't know"
"Wanna do something?"
"I don't know"
"Oh.."
"Call Zoraida"
"Alright, later."
"Later"
So, I was thinking to myself, I don't REALLY want to bother Zoraida, but I missed her, so I did. We talked for a while and at first thought I wondered why she didn't sound like her. I realized, Zoraida had grown up! By golly! So we chit-chatted. She had started to tell me about how she would deal with her problems by enducing alcohol into her system which would eventually entoxicate her into a blindful bliss. She asked that me and Brian join, so we did. I call Brian again:
"Yo"
"Hey dude," said the tired soul
"Zee wants to know if you wanna go drinking today?"
"I don't know."
"Might give us something to do... ?"
So we agreed and I was off to get ready. I start by looking at myself in the mirror. "Wow, what a wreck," I told myself. Even though it wasn't really THAT bad, I decided to ignore my looks. I am ugly, and will stay ugly because I really don't know what else to be. I call Brian again:
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"I don't know... I got to do things."
"How 'bout I jsut go to your house and walk to Z's?"
"Sure..."
I start walking out my door jamming the beats of Belle and Sebastian and I wonder to myself... I am such a horrible person. I know I need to change, but I just can't find what support I need to go through with this stuff. I listen to "The Boy Done Wrong Again" on repeat till my batteries die on my CD player. I felt pretty mellow. All my life I had searched for something important that I can truly involve my wholeness of soul to and I just failed in my attemps. Shame fell upon me.
I had arrived at the yellowish home of a women stuck in the time stream in hopes to speak to her son, the bass player. I entered the property and started to notice the slightest smell of smoke and I also remembered that I had a pack of mellow & rich Camel Turkish Gold in my, let's just say, "emo baggy" which most of these school kids would have so vaguely and stereotypically called it. Though, to Brian he just calls it my purse. Then I had remembered that on my journey I had forgot the lighter to accompany the cigarettes in my room. Dammit. So I walk into his chambers and here the sounds of the bass playing high and loud.
The sounds, for being dispersed through a little amp, made the sounds of a thousand horses chased upon the metal coils of a bass guitar. It was the most amzing sight as I could have remembered. My eyes are not what they used to be. As entered I seeked sanctuary in the living comforts of his dungeon. it was the mess of ages upon the destruction of Atantis. Truly, a remarkable tragidy that bestow that city... and the future outcome of his room. Dawn of metal. Totally.
"So, yeah"
"Ready to go?"
"Si, totalmente senior Ruddy"
So we ran for our lives leaving the time wrapped home behind the time stream and venture out into the deep stretches of Fontana, California... Where not man has gone before. The journey was long, so we smoked cigarettes... and we had lost many at that. The walk was long and tiring, and we seemed to be getting tired at that. Its hard to go places when you're freshly sober. The streets infinite and my mind was a blaze with the idea of walking another half mile. We decided to kill time by stopping by a gasoline station to acquire some freshly brewed soda pop. I saw the girl at the counter. She was awesomely beautiful. Just beautiful. We but the drinks and step outside.
"Heather is pretty"
We could have gone back but I decided it was in our best interest not to. The mission was still in progress and we must have at all cost reach our final destination: Zoraida's house. We started discussing the anatomy of the human body and all of it's disgusting parts. We came to realize that girls really are gross except for when you are datng them. This is probably the reason that I still remain single till this day. Its really hard to find good looking girls now a days, but I guess you can't do much about that now. Just settle for what you have. What I do have in mind for my lady is this sexy pale librarian with short hair, a slim figure, and a cute smile... and let's not forget the pile of books stacked in her fragile hands. I would so definately come to her aid at first sight of distress... But then I have to remember, such girls do not exist. My mind went blank. I find it amazing for Brian that he actually has a girlfriend he loves with all his heart. My friends tell me that someday I will find my love... but I must say, that one day I will continue writing about that subject. Not today. Let's move on.
We talked about this, and we talked about that. The walk was in a way interesting. We jested about many a subject and we shared ideals and thoughts about other more superficial matters. yes, none of that should be spoken about in such a message as the one I am writing...
(to be continued)
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