Running is fun
I went running today. It felt sooo good, especially after running in yesterday's agonizing heat. I've decided 7:00 is the perfect time to run. I think I've gone running everyday this week. I love it. I feel like I'm turning into Zack. I don't care though. I just crave that feeling I get when my body is working together to acheive something, and my mind is at rest. I can get lost in thought and no one is there to bring me back. I can breathe in nature and it's beauty, and for once be at peace with my self and the world. There is nothing else tha feels so exhilirating.
Jordan has counties today. He's been sick recently, and was worrying about how he would do. I hope he does okay. I don't like seeing him dissapointed. Sometimes I think he's too hard on himself. He takes things in life so seriously, which is okay I guess, because I am childish and never want to grow up so I need someone like him to keep me in check. But sometimes I wish he could just be more laid back. Like when we were outside the other day, just messing around like kids. I was having so much fun, but I felt like he wasn't, like something was bothering him. I don't know, maybe I just over analyze things. He truly is amazing though, and I would never, ever, do anything to lose him.
Today I had one of those days where I just hated everything about myself: how I looked, sounded, behaved, everything. I just felt like I wasn't good enough. It was one of those days where I just wanted to stay hiding under my covers all day, or walk around with a paper bag over my head so no one could see me. Does anyone else ever have those days? I feel so much better now though, after my run.
I still don't have anywhere to stay during senior week. This is not looking good guys. However, I have alot that I am excited about coming up. There's lifeguarding, the last day of school, senior boat trip, graduation, my graduation party, senior week (if i end up going), my 18th birthday, deep creek (!!!!), outer banks with my family, fourth of july, and just all of summer's regular glories. Then it is off to college. AHHHHH!
I need to shower. Maybe I will straighten my hair so I don't feel as ugly tomorrow. We will see.