(no subject)
Yesterday was friday it was a weird fay for me. my brother was nice but i guess kurtus wanted to feel tlike he was getting hated on... he ignored me all day yesterday and i felt stupid cuz i got him a fatherday present and he acted like he didnt want it no matter what it was. so it finally got to the point where it was time to go home, and i was worried that he wasnt ganna take it cuz he was yelling at me all night... yelling at me cuz people wouldnt help him there where other people not doing shit but me i had to take apart the shake machine and shit and make sure it was done before i went home.. and plus him ignoring me makes me feel like anyone help me but melissa cuz he was perfectly fine talking with everyone eles but me thats funny right No its not it makes me feel like shit thats the type of shit that makes me wanna do drugs again to clear my mind of the time being alone ... i dont know what do do in life anymore i dont even know if i even want this baby anymore just for the fact cuz i know kurtus aint ganna be there for me and that he is never comeing back and the one thing i have to do is get over him and me hold him kid isnt helping any.... i just need time to think. i never know maybe just one little word or one little sign will change all my thoughts... i dont now what to feel or what to do or what to say anymore im lost and im scared im ganna be lost in the bad way again....