(no subject)
Why is it that my Mother just has this way of making me feel like shit?
I'm happy with Josh, why can't she just understand that and let it be. But no, she has to make me feel like shit. It is like I'm not suppose to be happy, or she doesn't want me happy. She asked me today why what he thinks is more important then what she does. Well, maybe because I'm happy and it seems for the past few relationships I've had, I've broken up with them because she makes me miserable, but this one is different. I want to be with Josh, now, forever. Sometimes it just feels like she wakes up in the morning and says "So, Amber is happy today. Let's ruin it and make her cry and feel like shit". Josh is suppose to be here in 30 minutes, and I look like hell because I've been crying for the past hour. I tried to call him and tell him I'd just come up there, because I know he isn't going to be comfortable here, but apparently he had already left. She thinks that just because Madisyn is 5 months old, and he has supervised visitation that he is like, horrible or something and she keeps saying she doesn't understand it. Well, I know exactly why it's that way, I have read ALL the court papers, and like I told her today, it isn't any of her business. So what, he has a past? Who doesn't? We all know that her daughter isn't perfect, and by no means is she perfect either. Like, I just wish she would put trust in me for once that I chose correctly, and with time she'll see that and I realize she wants the best for me, but when she is acting like this it's just going to make me hate her in the end. I just wish that someone would talk to her, reassure her that for once I'm happy and know what I'm doing. I actually have my head on straight and know what I want and where I want to be in life, but apparently that isn't good enough, nothing is good enough.
I love him.
The end...
I'm happy with Josh, why can't she just understand that and let it be. But no, she has to make me feel like shit. It is like I'm not suppose to be happy, or she doesn't want me happy. She asked me today why what he thinks is more important then what she does. Well, maybe because I'm happy and it seems for the past few relationships I've had, I've broken up with them because she makes me miserable, but this one is different. I want to be with Josh, now, forever. Sometimes it just feels like she wakes up in the morning and says "So, Amber is happy today. Let's ruin it and make her cry and feel like shit". Josh is suppose to be here in 30 minutes, and I look like hell because I've been crying for the past hour. I tried to call him and tell him I'd just come up there, because I know he isn't going to be comfortable here, but apparently he had already left. She thinks that just because Madisyn is 5 months old, and he has supervised visitation that he is like, horrible or something and she keeps saying she doesn't understand it. Well, I know exactly why it's that way, I have read ALL the court papers, and like I told her today, it isn't any of her business. So what, he has a past? Who doesn't? We all know that her daughter isn't perfect, and by no means is she perfect either. Like, I just wish she would put trust in me for once that I chose correctly, and with time she'll see that and I realize she wants the best for me, but when she is acting like this it's just going to make me hate her in the end. I just wish that someone would talk to her, reassure her that for once I'm happy and know what I'm doing. I actually have my head on straight and know what I want and where I want to be in life, but apparently that isn't good enough, nothing is good enough.
I love him.
The end...