Labor Day
It's funny, I'm sitting her at my sisters house, surrounded by friends and family. What more could a girl want? In all honesty, nothing...
But looking back of these past couple of months and looking towards the future makes me think of a lot of things. And now... I want to share them with you. I know I shouldn't be anti-social, but I was suddenly inspired to write, and thus, here I am.
The Past.... A year ago I had just moved into a two bedroom apartment, now I'm living in a three bedroom house with one of my life long friends, Garry. I think of how I've grown over this year, having to pay the rent, pay every other bill under the sun, and trying to still eat and keep a social life. I think of how much responsibility has been put on me and that I put on myself. I sit here and think of how many times I've been "mom" to so many when no one has asked me too. I simply am just that kind of person I guess. I want to know how things are going, and I want to be able to help those who need it. I guess my problem lies when I try and help people that haven't asked for my help... I'm getting better though, I SWEAR!
I think back at the relationships that have shaped who I am and how I will be. One of my friends told me recently, "I thought about it, and you're the longest friendship I've maintained." But I had to respond to her, that she is young in comparison to my friendships. I think about Garry, Katie, Nita, Eric, and of course my siblings.
I think of the friendships that are no longer as strong as they once were. How time has changed people, how experience has changed people. Maybe it's my fault these friendships are no longer what they once were... I simply am sadden that things aren't the way they once were.... But people change... I simply try my best.
I think of the friends that were there to help me move, and to help me smile when I want to cry.The frienships and when I look through my phone have called recently, and want to just talk. The friends that will go with me to endure family dinners, even when I don't want to go... They are willing to go out of their way to help me, and they know that I would do the same in return. Any time, any where. I'd go.
As for boys... this isn't a very long list, but it is significant to me. Yeah, we joke around about it, the failures that have taken place, but all because I'm not ready. Someone told me recently that they needed to find me a guy, and I laughed at them. Why? Because I'm content with my life. I go to school, carrying 16 units this quarter, I work two jobs, and I'm picking up more shifts at Coco's, and I am very active in the district planning events lately. What time I have left is given to my friends... where would a boy fit in? I mean really...
The future...
Well, for the future I have much to anticipate, but most importanly participate. I know I can make a plan sheet, a set of goals to try and achieve, but I know how my life works, and how quickly things will and can change. I simply accept that, there are other plans taking place. Plans that I do not yet understand, but the will be for a good future. Plans that will guide me and shape me in to the adult that I will soon be. I'm changing my major in school, embarking on a new adventure. New faces, new teachers, new area of campus. Now, to you that might not seem like that big of a deal, but to me... It is.
I think about what God wants from me, where He wants me to go and to do. I try and listen to Him, but often let my own control issues take place. It's time to accept the path that is laid before me and stop fighting it. It's time to forgive and a time to be forgiven. It's time for growth, mentally, physically, and most importanly spiritually. It's time to embrace life, knowing that tomorrow may be our last. It's time to sing, it's time to dance, it's time to live with Recklless Abandon.
I know that I will falter several times. I know that I will fail and fall, and then get back up. I know these things, so why set myself up for disappointment? By simply accepthing this is life. From birth to death, it is life. I search for a reason to rejoice in both. Birth is easy, a baby entering this world, hopefully finding love, and acceptance instantly (now I know that doesn't happen a 100 percent, but let me dream here a little). The "Inbetween" full of mistakes, laughter, joy, tears, pain, happiness, and love. Then death, leaving those you love behind. Leaving them to mourn, but to hope to pray that soon they shall all be together again. In the mean time, we celebrate the "In Between" of those who have gone on before us preparing the way. Not every memory maybe the best, but having their memory keeps them alive through you in spirit and mentally.
Now I'm not sure if my ramblings have made sense, or if it is clear what I'm trying to say. Overall, I'm trying to say, it's time the person I want to be, and a person taht when I look in the mirror I am proud to say that I am! I want to be a woman that people respect, and love for many differenct reasons. I want to be me.... In time we shall see how this all works out, only time will be able to tell...
Until next time!
Peace and God Bless,
But looking back of these past couple of months and looking towards the future makes me think of a lot of things. And now... I want to share them with you. I know I shouldn't be anti-social, but I was suddenly inspired to write, and thus, here I am.
The Past.... A year ago I had just moved into a two bedroom apartment, now I'm living in a three bedroom house with one of my life long friends, Garry. I think of how I've grown over this year, having to pay the rent, pay every other bill under the sun, and trying to still eat and keep a social life. I think of how much responsibility has been put on me and that I put on myself. I sit here and think of how many times I've been "mom" to so many when no one has asked me too. I simply am just that kind of person I guess. I want to know how things are going, and I want to be able to help those who need it. I guess my problem lies when I try and help people that haven't asked for my help... I'm getting better though, I SWEAR!
I think back at the relationships that have shaped who I am and how I will be. One of my friends told me recently, "I thought about it, and you're the longest friendship I've maintained." But I had to respond to her, that she is young in comparison to my friendships. I think about Garry, Katie, Nita, Eric, and of course my siblings.
I think of the friendships that are no longer as strong as they once were. How time has changed people, how experience has changed people. Maybe it's my fault these friendships are no longer what they once were... I simply am sadden that things aren't the way they once were.... But people change... I simply try my best.
I think of the friends that were there to help me move, and to help me smile when I want to cry.The frienships and when I look through my phone have called recently, and want to just talk. The friends that will go with me to endure family dinners, even when I don't want to go... They are willing to go out of their way to help me, and they know that I would do the same in return. Any time, any where. I'd go.
As for boys... this isn't a very long list, but it is significant to me. Yeah, we joke around about it, the failures that have taken place, but all because I'm not ready. Someone told me recently that they needed to find me a guy, and I laughed at them. Why? Because I'm content with my life. I go to school, carrying 16 units this quarter, I work two jobs, and I'm picking up more shifts at Coco's, and I am very active in the district planning events lately. What time I have left is given to my friends... where would a boy fit in? I mean really...
The future...
Well, for the future I have much to anticipate, but most importanly participate. I know I can make a plan sheet, a set of goals to try and achieve, but I know how my life works, and how quickly things will and can change. I simply accept that, there are other plans taking place. Plans that I do not yet understand, but the will be for a good future. Plans that will guide me and shape me in to the adult that I will soon be. I'm changing my major in school, embarking on a new adventure. New faces, new teachers, new area of campus. Now, to you that might not seem like that big of a deal, but to me... It is.
I think about what God wants from me, where He wants me to go and to do. I try and listen to Him, but often let my own control issues take place. It's time to accept the path that is laid before me and stop fighting it. It's time to forgive and a time to be forgiven. It's time for growth, mentally, physically, and most importanly spiritually. It's time to embrace life, knowing that tomorrow may be our last. It's time to sing, it's time to dance, it's time to live with Recklless Abandon.
I know that I will falter several times. I know that I will fail and fall, and then get back up. I know these things, so why set myself up for disappointment? By simply accepthing this is life. From birth to death, it is life. I search for a reason to rejoice in both. Birth is easy, a baby entering this world, hopefully finding love, and acceptance instantly (now I know that doesn't happen a 100 percent, but let me dream here a little). The "Inbetween" full of mistakes, laughter, joy, tears, pain, happiness, and love. Then death, leaving those you love behind. Leaving them to mourn, but to hope to pray that soon they shall all be together again. In the mean time, we celebrate the "In Between" of those who have gone on before us preparing the way. Not every memory maybe the best, but having their memory keeps them alive through you in spirit and mentally.
Now I'm not sure if my ramblings have made sense, or if it is clear what I'm trying to say. Overall, I'm trying to say, it's time the person I want to be, and a person taht when I look in the mirror I am proud to say that I am! I want to be a woman that people respect, and love for many differenct reasons. I want to be me.... In time we shall see how this all works out, only time will be able to tell...
Until next time!
Peace and God Bless,