fukushima go get him!
i have this thing where i can never sleep when i want to. and its really quite irritating. i have 2 exams today and its now 3sommat am and evidently i am awake. not even sleepy. i pretended to yawn. thought maybe i could trick myself into feeling sleepy. didnt work. but now my jaw is sore. go me. and then i have singing exam on tuesday. and then japanese speaking test on wednesday. then school's out! until exams. which for me start the week after the week after school's out. and end a week before i go to the philippines.
there have been more and more dress dramas. which of course is normal since its my family. if there were no dramas then i'd be worried that someone's been poisoning the water or sommat. but there are dramas. like my ma wanting to get this fancy fancy lacy complicated dress made. which was fugly anyways. and when i looked at it i just thought 'moron' straight off. which i suppose isnt really all that rare an occurrence in this family. but yeah..it was fugly. mine will be good. just need to not light it on fire if i'm in charge of fire on the wedding day.
i really dunno why i'm being given any responsibility at all at this wedding. but i get the feeling its like when my cousin used to invite me out with the rest of my cousins who i have nothing in common with except some blood (although mine's sweeter fo' sho') and have no interest in at all. it was all just so he wouldn't feel guilty about not spending time with me. and spending all his time with my other cousins. who he is not related to at all. i think too much sometimes. although sometimes i think not at all so i suppose i've achieved a nice balance. but yes. its so all about that guilt thing. cos when we were younger and had to visit my lola and lolo a lot we'd always hang out. i'm 5 years younger and i was his partner in crime back then. i dont really remember much of what we used to do at my lol's house. i remember there was this big urn thing with golf balls in the bottom. no idea why there were golf balls. although i suppose the golf course across the road might have sommat to do with it. and apparently he made me smell his socks when i got a new frend and ignored him (the new frend was a balloon)...and he even used to try to do braids in my hair. those little tiny ones. weird. i also remember he once dressed me up in his clothes...all black...and we went to the closest shopping center and i looked...well..weird...but at the time i suppose we thought it was cool. and me him n his brother used to run away from their house and hang out in the park behind it...i was really young still and all i really remember is being scared to make the big jump down from their property to the park...cos it was quite a drop for me back then.
so actually i suppose after thinking about all that i kinda understand why he's all guilty about not spending time with me anymore. especially since when his family moved to the states and he n his bro didnt wanna be there and both came back one at a time they lived in my house. i think at one point i shared a room with him. mate...my life is really starting to sound more messed up. i know the reason i loved the ninja turtles is his fault. and the reason i love star wars (original untouched up version) so much is his fault. and probably most of the music i liked back then was his fault. he really had quite an influence on me when i was younger. interesting to think about now.
but he needs to realise...people get older...people grow apart. and i wont ease his guilt by hanging out with people i dont like so he can 'spend time with me'. now i just need a way to get out of doing shit at his wedding. although...if its the fire bit...i suppose that won't be too bad...heheheheh...*cackles*
there have been more and more dress dramas. which of course is normal since its my family. if there were no dramas then i'd be worried that someone's been poisoning the water or sommat. but there are dramas. like my ma wanting to get this fancy fancy lacy complicated dress made. which was fugly anyways. and when i looked at it i just thought 'moron' straight off. which i suppose isnt really all that rare an occurrence in this family. but yeah..it was fugly. mine will be good. just need to not light it on fire if i'm in charge of fire on the wedding day.
i really dunno why i'm being given any responsibility at all at this wedding. but i get the feeling its like when my cousin used to invite me out with the rest of my cousins who i have nothing in common with except some blood (although mine's sweeter fo' sho') and have no interest in at all. it was all just so he wouldn't feel guilty about not spending time with me. and spending all his time with my other cousins. who he is not related to at all. i think too much sometimes. although sometimes i think not at all so i suppose i've achieved a nice balance. but yes. its so all about that guilt thing. cos when we were younger and had to visit my lola and lolo a lot we'd always hang out. i'm 5 years younger and i was his partner in crime back then. i dont really remember much of what we used to do at my lol's house. i remember there was this big urn thing with golf balls in the bottom. no idea why there were golf balls. although i suppose the golf course across the road might have sommat to do with it. and apparently he made me smell his socks when i got a new frend and ignored him (the new frend was a balloon)...and he even used to try to do braids in my hair. those little tiny ones. weird. i also remember he once dressed me up in his clothes...all black...and we went to the closest shopping center and i looked...well..weird...but at the time i suppose we thought it was cool. and me him n his brother used to run away from their house and hang out in the park behind it...i was really young still and all i really remember is being scared to make the big jump down from their property to the park...cos it was quite a drop for me back then.
so actually i suppose after thinking about all that i kinda understand why he's all guilty about not spending time with me anymore. especially since when his family moved to the states and he n his bro didnt wanna be there and both came back one at a time they lived in my house. i think at one point i shared a room with him. mate...my life is really starting to sound more messed up. i know the reason i loved the ninja turtles is his fault. and the reason i love star wars (original untouched up version) so much is his fault. and probably most of the music i liked back then was his fault. he really had quite an influence on me when i was younger. interesting to think about now.
but he needs to realise...people get older...people grow apart. and i wont ease his guilt by hanging out with people i dont like so he can 'spend time with me'. now i just need a way to get out of doing shit at his wedding. although...if its the fire bit...i suppose that won't be too bad...heheheheh...*cackles*