Familial Gatherings (Or Why No One Ever Gets Birthday Cake at Parties)
Today we had the birthday party for my cousin Sky's ninth birthday.
Her brother and her uncle shoved her face in the whole cake.
The poor kid looked ready to cry, orange and yellow frosting all over her face, up her nose, and in her hair. But she grabs a handful and starts throwing the cake instead.
FOOD FIGHT!
Those of us who wanted cake ate around the face print. It was kinda ridiculously awesome.
The highlight of the day, however, had to do with my cousin Levi.
My cousin Mandy is seeing a guy named Zack. So, Zack throws his football on the gound. This random little boy just runs up, grabs it, and takes off halfway across the park.
Where he leaves it next to a tree.
So Zack goes to get the ball and stays on the other side of the park talking to what I assume is the kid's dad.
Levi decides to mess with him. This follows:
Zack: *looks at pocket. Answers phone*
Levi: WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY! WHAT THE FUCK MAN, I BRING YOU TO THE PARK, AND YOU'RE OVER THERE FUCKING MACKING ON ANOTHER DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK! I HOPE YOU'RE FUCKING HAPPY WITH THAT FUCKING BITCH. NO, I'M DONE WITH YOU, GO BE HAPPY WITH YOUR NEW GUY!
Zack: *flails while laughing*
Her brother and her uncle shoved her face in the whole cake.
The poor kid looked ready to cry, orange and yellow frosting all over her face, up her nose, and in her hair. But she grabs a handful and starts throwing the cake instead.
FOOD FIGHT!
Those of us who wanted cake ate around the face print. It was kinda ridiculously awesome.
The highlight of the day, however, had to do with my cousin Levi.
My cousin Mandy is seeing a guy named Zack. So, Zack throws his football on the gound. This random little boy just runs up, grabs it, and takes off halfway across the park.
Where he leaves it next to a tree.
So Zack goes to get the ball and stays on the other side of the park talking to what I assume is the kid's dad.
Levi decides to mess with him. This follows:
Zack: *looks at pocket. Answers phone*
Levi: WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY! WHAT THE FUCK MAN, I BRING YOU TO THE PARK, AND YOU'RE OVER THERE FUCKING MACKING ON ANOTHER DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK! I HOPE YOU'RE FUCKING HAPPY WITH THAT FUCKING BITCH. NO, I'M DONE WITH YOU, GO BE HAPPY WITH YOUR NEW GUY!
Zack: *flails while laughing*