I was starting to worry no one at all was reading this story, but then you came by and left this gorgeous and heartwarming comment -- thank you so much! Did I ever tell you I want to marry all of your comments and have their babies? They're always so thoughtful and beautifully phrased, and you have a way of making the kind of observations about phrasing or characterization that I could never ever come up with myself, such as how Lyta "doesn't allow herself any leeway in her speaking", which is perfectly poetic and rings perfectly true. Somehow reading your thoughts on a story makes me see the story through different eyes as well, which in turn makes the story feel that much more precious to me. Does that make any sense at all? :)
I was nervous about Lyta's voice, in particular. Late-season 5 Lyta is so different from early Lyta, so dark and bitter and uncompromising, and even if it seems likely that underneath that tough mask she's still vulnerable, we never actually get to see it in canon. So I had to take my best guess at how post-canon Lyta would interact with post-canon G'Kar, and try to get behind that mask of hers without making her sound any less strong, or bitter, or determined. I'm so happy you felt I struck the right balance for Lyta! And I loved exploring the similarities and differences between the two of them. Late-series G'Kar would never give up his pain, because he wears it as a symbol of his growth and a reminder of his choices; Lyta, on the other hand, makes the choices she makes because it's the only way she can wield her pain without having it destroy her. I wanted to show her making the choice to fight Psi Corps to the death, as canon tells us she did, but not making it blindly. I wanted a post-canon Lyta who had grown and learned since she left Babylon 5, but still chose death regardless, without glorifying it but knowing it was the only way for her. And I wanted G'Kar to understand what led her to that choice. If the story managed to get that across, I'm a happy, happy fangirl! Thanks again for the lovely feedback, I think I needed that. :)
I wanted a post-canon Lyta who had grown and learned since she left Babylon 5, but still chose death regardless, without glorifying it but knowing it was the only way for her
Yessss, that was just the feel I got from it, that the story moved Lyta from what could be taken as a reckless, self-destructive act to a considered, conscious decision. It filled a definite gap in the canon--one I didn't even know I wanted, to be honest. That's the best kind of fic, IMHO.
I love your stories and there are always so many things I want to comment on! Some stories have very narrow and focused attraction (the number of people who consciously think that they'd really like to see some post-canon development for Lyta seem rather rare!), and...yeah. For those, you definitely have to be focused on crafting a story that satisfies you (and/or the prompter if it's for a specific person), because they tend to be stories that mean a lot to you (because they were a challenge to write) and also don't tend to get a lot of response, which can be frustrating... But I think a story like this, which fills a pretty specific niche, is more likely to be remembered in the long run someplace on AO3 than other stories with more generalized appeal...
Thanks so much for the encouragement - you're a sweetheart. *hugs* I don't usually get so bothered by this stuff; I realize I'm writing in a small corner of a small fandom, and knowing that people like you and maspalio are reading and enjoying what I write, is generally all that I need to feel good about my stories. Only this time it had been a while since I'd last produced something meaningful, and I think I hadn't quite readjusted my expectations to the "tiny fandom is tiny" thing, you know? That, and I still haven't heard back from the person I wrote the story for, which has me a little worried. Sorry for exposing you to a rant that really had nothing to do with you; I won't make a habit out of it, I promise. :)
How are you these days? I seem to recall that November tends to be a very busy period for you, work-wise - hope you're doing okay.
Yeah, it's always a sad thing when the person you wrote something for doesn't comment at all. *sad face* It happened for me about this time last year with a story I wrote for my best friend in fandom--I knew she was drifting off, but it was really painful to post a story for a friend and never hear a thing about it. So I do sympathize! You have to assume they're busy or just uninspired rather than assuming the story was totally not what they wanted, but sometimes it's hard to do that.
Things are awfully busy right now! November is entrance exam time in Japan and so it's weekend after weekend of tests and interviews and just ugh. I can't go home for Christmas this year, which would at least be relaxing except my mother-in-law is coming out to visit, lol. *throws hands in the air* Writing is sparse and rare at the moment, but that makes it all the more precious, somehow!
Ouch - yeah, when it's a story for a friend, I can imagine it's even more painful. In this case what made it awkward is that the fic was for help_japan, which meant someone paid good money for it, and I was feeling bad enough about having kept them waiting for six months or so before finishing it. On the other hand, I know I can't blame myself for (a) not putting all I had into it, or (b) having written something crappy, because I really felt I'd pulled off a decent story that would make my requester happy. Everything else is beyond my control, so I've convinced myself not to feel guilty about it, at least. :)
I read your post about entrance exams in Japan - it sounds terrifying! Would they genuinely fire a person for making an honest mistake like, say, not reading out a set of instructions perfectly right? Anyway, I'm sure you'll do a great job of it, and I hope you can at least squeeze in some time here and there to enjoy your Yuletide assignment!
I read your post about entrance exams in Japan - it sounds terrifying! Would they genuinely fire a person for making an honest mistake like, say, not reading out a set of instructions perfectly right?
To be honest, they probably wouldn't fire faculty for small and honest errors like that, but I know the staff in charge of "helping" (in reality they run the show and the faculty mostly just perform on cue, lol) are at the very least uneasy enough about small staff errors that they'll try not to report them to the higher-ups if possible, because there could be some bad consequences. As long as no students complain it's not a problem, but if some student decides to kick up a fuss and say they were treated unfairly, it can be awful, apparently. (I mean, obviously if someone was treated unfairly it should be dealt, though!)
But it all went okay as far as I can tell! My name is not in the local newspaper as "The Foreigner Who Ruined Entrance Exams..." :)
I was nervous about Lyta's voice, in particular. Late-season 5 Lyta is so different from early Lyta, so dark and bitter and uncompromising, and even if it seems likely that underneath that tough mask she's still vulnerable, we never actually get to see it in canon. So I had to take my best guess at how post-canon Lyta would interact with post-canon G'Kar, and try to get behind that mask of hers without making her sound any less strong, or bitter, or determined. I'm so happy you felt I struck the right balance for Lyta! And I loved exploring the similarities and differences between the two of them. Late-series G'Kar would never give up his pain, because he wears it as a symbol of his growth and a reminder of his choices; Lyta, on the other hand, makes the choices she makes because it's the only way she can wield her pain without having it destroy her. I wanted to show her making the choice to fight Psi Corps to the death, as canon tells us she did, but not making it blindly. I wanted a post-canon Lyta who had grown and learned since she left Babylon 5, but still chose death regardless, without glorifying it but knowing it was the only way for her. And I wanted G'Kar to understand what led her to that choice. If the story managed to get that across, I'm a happy, happy fangirl! Thanks again for the lovely feedback, I think I needed that. :)
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Yessss, that was just the feel I got from it, that the story moved Lyta from what could be taken as a reckless, self-destructive act to a considered, conscious decision. It filled a definite gap in the canon--one I didn't even know I wanted, to be honest. That's the best kind of fic, IMHO.
I love your stories and there are always so many things I want to comment on! Some stories have very narrow and focused attraction (the number of people who consciously think that they'd really like to see some post-canon development for Lyta seem rather rare!), and...yeah. For those, you definitely have to be focused on crafting a story that satisfies you (and/or the prompter if it's for a specific person), because they tend to be stories that mean a lot to you (because they were a challenge to write) and also don't tend to get a lot of response, which can be frustrating... But I think a story like this, which fills a pretty specific niche, is more likely to be remembered in the long run someplace on AO3 than other stories with more generalized appeal...
Reply
How are you these days? I seem to recall that November tends to be a very busy period for you, work-wise - hope you're doing okay.
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Things are awfully busy right now! November is entrance exam time in Japan and so it's weekend after weekend of tests and interviews and just ugh. I can't go home for Christmas this year, which would at least be relaxing except my mother-in-law is coming out to visit, lol. *throws hands in the air* Writing is sparse and rare at the moment, but that makes it all the more precious, somehow!
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I read your post about entrance exams in Japan - it sounds terrifying! Would they genuinely fire a person for making an honest mistake like, say, not reading out a set of instructions perfectly right? Anyway, I'm sure you'll do a great job of it, and I hope you can at least squeeze in some time here and there to enjoy your Yuletide assignment!
Reply
To be honest, they probably wouldn't fire faculty for small and honest errors like that, but I know the staff in charge of "helping" (in reality they run the show and the faculty mostly just perform on cue, lol) are at the very least uneasy enough about small staff errors that they'll try not to report them to the higher-ups if possible, because there could be some bad consequences. As long as no students complain it's not a problem, but if some student decides to kick up a fuss and say they were treated unfairly, it can be awful, apparently. (I mean, obviously if someone was treated unfairly it should be dealt, though!)
But it all went okay as far as I can tell! My name is not in the local newspaper as "The Foreigner Who Ruined Entrance Exams..." :)
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