Sleep and stuff
I went to Genshiken today, and it was neato :D We watched this movie--I don't even know the name of it, but most of the guys said it was too weird. ^^; It was weird, but it hit home kind of for me because of the different between the 'dream girl' and the 'real boy'. He said at one point (I can't remember his name, and this is sub-translation) that he felt more real in her dream than in his reality. I dunno. That meant something to me that I guess doesn't mean the same thing to other people. Dreams and imagination and the tangible world are something that I think blend together in somebody like me, and I guess it was just different. But, the part about the plane or whatever was strange, and I was disappointed that they didn't stay in the 'alt universe' or whatever. I left early because I was tired, and the Northern lights were out. Not for too long, but it was sweet. I watched them from my car and nearly crashed on 212. ^^;
Anyway, I had a weird day today. (Again, lol.) Definate lack of sleep, atop mono, atop whatever. I'm going to go to sleep soon, but right now I'm chilling so I can give my mind some time to wind down. (Plus mom is coming to give me the gas money she owes me.) I wrote this in English class, because I was wired and thinking too much, and because I wanted to write it down before it drifted off.
If reincarnation existed, would it exist in time? A reincarnated soul must move and change and develope. I think it must in some way, because if life doesn't cange you, what can? There must be a plane of movement from one incarnation to th enext. But, does that incarnation have to exist in time as humans perieve it as history, or a fourth demensional kind of time? I could die tomorro wnad wake up in the body of Gavrilo Princip or something, and that would be outside of time, but it would make *sense* on a plane of.. whatever, pseudo-time. My dad has told me several times that he things that I have an 'old soul'; even though he technically doesn't believe in it. I don't really know what to think--I definately do want to believe in reincarrnation because means something to me that we aren't all born, raised and dead. But, looking at history shows that humans have always tried to explain that, because it means something to every human. It seems like believing in something is fake, unreal, and it's just another story. Another novel, and something detatched from reality as it is--a reasonal, scientific and calculated reality. Maybe that hope to explain existane is what began humanity, but that changes little if the mind is still weak against the phusical world. A philosophe of the Enlightenment00I forgot which one, but I guess I'll look it up later--said that there are two types of things: physical and mental; tangleble and non-tangible. During the Age of Reason, tangible took presidence over the non-tangible, because of church Dogma and that sort of thing. (Backlash against Church Dogma, I guess is more correct.) And I like that idea, but I think it puts too much emphasis on things that are phusical. Now, peope ignore the power of the human mind and I have absolute trust in the power of it. .. Well, not absolute trust, but I want to, and part of the whole thing is that *want* influences *truth*. Not necessarily want, maybe--want is a word that seems kind of carnal. It's not like "I want a discman, so I'm going to mentally create one." It's more like "I want a word of faeries, and so I'll make one." It's a writer's truth, a painter's imagination. I suppose, the whole if it *is* power of imagination. Power of mind. Power of humanity. Our culture underestimates that power, thinks that that power can die when the body dies, and convinces us all at one point that it will.
And the idea of reincarnation is easy to blow off--it was invented by those afraid of death. In a theory of reincarnation, there is no heaven or hell, there is only more life, more experience and more time. It is even less frightening than the Medieval eye on heaven, because if you die to be reborn, then there is no fear of death at all. You will return. It seems as though it is the easiest way to push aside fears and believe in something fake. Somehow, though, I find it more plausable than the other things I see. I see little reality to the concept of heaven and hell. Happiness can't last forever, and neither can agony. I won't believe that. I can't, or else I would hurt myself. I can't believe that I am just a self-aware animal. I can't believe that the things and people and worlds that I create in pictures and writing are just those things--just words and scribbles made by a self-aware animal. I cannot believe that. Then, where am I? Where do I go, how do things change? Where have I come from? What peices of other people's reality have shaped my mind?
If reincarnation was to exist, there would need to be two parts two a soul. First of all, the mental process, the tangible, real connections in the brain that process thoughts and can be read on machines. The measurable mind, that effected by DNA and heredity and mother and father and friend. Then there would be the second part, the disposition, or talent, or take on life itself. The self awareness, I guess, that comes from being human, real, and the part of the soul that named itself the soul. If reincarnation were to exist, that part would change and be effected by the measurable part of the mind, but only for that one life. After that one life was over, the unmeasurable part would be born somewhere else and begin the world with it's awakening talents, its dispositions and its acceptance of life. Little memory--memory is kept in the part of the mind that is measurable, but there are still afnities, recognitions, friendships and loves. No one can see those or measure those, and they move with that part of the soul through time.
I'm not sure if souls would be chosen to be together over and over and over again. They'd be too different each time. I think people would have conflicting shadow-memories, like once you were betrayed horribly, but you were also in love so deeply that you probably just lost yourself. So, you wish you could love, but you're afraid, and you don't know why. Hereditary and tangible, measurable things could change those pieces of your shadow memories, and you could think of something else, and ignore another betrayal, becuase perhaps your mother knew how to deal with a child who thought that way.
Life and death and life and death and life and death--life is still just as important, even if you would be born again. I never know where I stand.
Anyway, I had a weird day today. (Again, lol.) Definate lack of sleep, atop mono, atop whatever. I'm going to go to sleep soon, but right now I'm chilling so I can give my mind some time to wind down. (Plus mom is coming to give me the gas money she owes me.) I wrote this in English class, because I was wired and thinking too much, and because I wanted to write it down before it drifted off.
If reincarnation existed, would it exist in time? A reincarnated soul must move and change and develope. I think it must in some way, because if life doesn't cange you, what can? There must be a plane of movement from one incarnation to th enext. But, does that incarnation have to exist in time as humans perieve it as history, or a fourth demensional kind of time? I could die tomorro wnad wake up in the body of Gavrilo Princip or something, and that would be outside of time, but it would make *sense* on a plane of.. whatever, pseudo-time. My dad has told me several times that he things that I have an 'old soul'; even though he technically doesn't believe in it. I don't really know what to think--I definately do want to believe in reincarrnation because means something to me that we aren't all born, raised and dead. But, looking at history shows that humans have always tried to explain that, because it means something to every human. It seems like believing in something is fake, unreal, and it's just another story. Another novel, and something detatched from reality as it is--a reasonal, scientific and calculated reality. Maybe that hope to explain existane is what began humanity, but that changes little if the mind is still weak against the phusical world. A philosophe of the Enlightenment00I forgot which one, but I guess I'll look it up later--said that there are two types of things: physical and mental; tangleble and non-tangible. During the Age of Reason, tangible took presidence over the non-tangible, because of church Dogma and that sort of thing. (Backlash against Church Dogma, I guess is more correct.) And I like that idea, but I think it puts too much emphasis on things that are phusical. Now, peope ignore the power of the human mind and I have absolute trust in the power of it. .. Well, not absolute trust, but I want to, and part of the whole thing is that *want* influences *truth*. Not necessarily want, maybe--want is a word that seems kind of carnal. It's not like "I want a discman, so I'm going to mentally create one." It's more like "I want a word of faeries, and so I'll make one." It's a writer's truth, a painter's imagination. I suppose, the whole if it *is* power of imagination. Power of mind. Power of humanity. Our culture underestimates that power, thinks that that power can die when the body dies, and convinces us all at one point that it will.
And the idea of reincarnation is easy to blow off--it was invented by those afraid of death. In a theory of reincarnation, there is no heaven or hell, there is only more life, more experience and more time. It is even less frightening than the Medieval eye on heaven, because if you die to be reborn, then there is no fear of death at all. You will return. It seems as though it is the easiest way to push aside fears and believe in something fake. Somehow, though, I find it more plausable than the other things I see. I see little reality to the concept of heaven and hell. Happiness can't last forever, and neither can agony. I won't believe that. I can't, or else I would hurt myself. I can't believe that I am just a self-aware animal. I can't believe that the things and people and worlds that I create in pictures and writing are just those things--just words and scribbles made by a self-aware animal. I cannot believe that. Then, where am I? Where do I go, how do things change? Where have I come from? What peices of other people's reality have shaped my mind?
If reincarnation was to exist, there would need to be two parts two a soul. First of all, the mental process, the tangible, real connections in the brain that process thoughts and can be read on machines. The measurable mind, that effected by DNA and heredity and mother and father and friend. Then there would be the second part, the disposition, or talent, or take on life itself. The self awareness, I guess, that comes from being human, real, and the part of the soul that named itself the soul. If reincarnation were to exist, that part would change and be effected by the measurable part of the mind, but only for that one life. After that one life was over, the unmeasurable part would be born somewhere else and begin the world with it's awakening talents, its dispositions and its acceptance of life. Little memory--memory is kept in the part of the mind that is measurable, but there are still afnities, recognitions, friendships and loves. No one can see those or measure those, and they move with that part of the soul through time.
I'm not sure if souls would be chosen to be together over and over and over again. They'd be too different each time. I think people would have conflicting shadow-memories, like once you were betrayed horribly, but you were also in love so deeply that you probably just lost yourself. So, you wish you could love, but you're afraid, and you don't know why. Hereditary and tangible, measurable things could change those pieces of your shadow memories, and you could think of something else, and ignore another betrayal, becuase perhaps your mother knew how to deal with a child who thought that way.
Life and death and life and death and life and death--life is still just as important, even if you would be born again. I never know where I stand.