Small update about the weekend and a song that I like
*SIGHS* Even though I have this bad headache and my heart feels weird... I'm going to type up as much as I can and UPDATE! yay for updates. :)
First off... this weekend was pretty much awesome. Friday evening I got to talk to Jesse... hang out with my family. Enjoyed it. Saturday... Jesse came over! I appreciate it that he drives all the way here... I feel bad though since he won't let me help with gas and stuff. :( But thanks, hunney for coming here... I <3 you for that. :D Means a lot to me. I had so much fun too!
First thing we did when he got here was hang out with Natalie and Libby. We were in the livingroom... and Natalie was trying to beat him up. Fun times. :) Then Natalie, jesse, and I went to walmart to get some stuff for the cookies I was going to make for him. Went to walmart, got the stuff... headed over to carousel mall for starbucks coffee! Yay for starbucks! :D I LOVE that place... I miss coffee... can't wait to work at geddes on tues. for some more coffee. :p hehe!
Thennnnn.... we got home... helped my mom unpack the car from all the groceries she got. We then had pizza and some of us watched Anne of green Gables. I was too busy talking to Tina on the phone. Fun conversation. I miss her so much... can't wait till she gets here. *sighs*
Hm... then... Jesse and I made cookies! They came out pretty good. I was HAPPY! I was feeding Jesse, Natalie, and Libby cookie batter. lol. That was fun to see their face expressions... I wanted to see if they thought it was tastyyyy! They enjoyed the baked cookies more, I think. Then... Jesse felt kinda sick from all the cookies he ate... (even though he didn't really eat much... ) so I went in my room where he was... watched some TV while trying to like... make him feel better by giving him back scratch and playing with his hair. He liked it... so... that's good. :)
Then... he had to go home. :( I'm SO glad and thank God that he got home safely... cuz he was so tired and wasn't feeling good at all. So, I was worried. But he's a purty good driver... so... yeah. He was fine. Libby and I sat on my bed and talked a bit and watched some TV till Jesse called. He called... told me about his drive and other stuff... then I went to bed! :) You are amazing, hunney... you make my day... and I <3 you!
Church was amazing today. I took... 2 and a half pages of NOTES! yay for notes! I noticed that I can concentrate better and understand the message when I take notes and read my Bible instead of listening to the pastor quote scripture. He talked about love. And how we... as Christians have to learn how to love one another... so then the people of the world can see the love we have... and realize that we only have it through Christ because Christ is love! :) It was a wonderful message... I loved it. And I liked the worship too, though I almost cried... like... three times. *sighs*
Hm... I got to hang out with JULIE!!! :D I missed her so much... we talked after church for a while... then went out to lunch with her mom and libby... then I went to her home and we TALKED! She's awesome... I can't tell you how AMAZING AND GOOD it felt to talk to her again... it's been FOREVER since we've just... gotten together and TALKED. *sighs* I miss her still... but... at least we got to talk today. And I thanked God for that too. She burned me one of her fav. CDs... called Plumb. I love it...
There's this song on it... called " Cut". I remember the song... cuz she knew about how depressed I was the past summer... and of my struggle with hurting myself. So... she let me listen to the song... This is the song...
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
A fragile flame aged
Is misery
And when our hearts meet
I know you see
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut
When I listened to it again this afternoon... I started crying just remembering that summer... and Libby came in... and I told her of how I felt... how I feel so bad that I'm such a bad example to her... I never want her to do what I have done... and sometimes still do... I struggle with it a lot and I DON'T WANT HER TO DEAL WITH IT. Cuz... it's just.... sad... and gross... and a BURDEN! Hard to let go of... *sighs* While she was hugging me... I cried... in her arms... and then she started crying... *sighs* Then we just sat... and talked a bit... listening to the song... and I wrote it down... (the song) to remember it... and keep the lyrics. Cuz... it's how I felt... in the summer... and sometimes... I still feel what she's talking about. *sighs*
Yeah.... I dunno...
Have a great week guys!
Leave comments if you want... lol... I never get anymore comments. *sniffles* :(
TINA... LOVE YOU!
Jesse... *hugs you and kisses your cheek* I <3 you SO much! You mean SO much to me.
This is how much God loves us!
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth on Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." We don't deserve this kind of love... but... He did it... cuz He has so much mercy and grace. I LOVE HIM!
First off... this weekend was pretty much awesome. Friday evening I got to talk to Jesse... hang out with my family. Enjoyed it. Saturday... Jesse came over! I appreciate it that he drives all the way here... I feel bad though since he won't let me help with gas and stuff. :( But thanks, hunney for coming here... I <3 you for that. :D Means a lot to me. I had so much fun too!
First thing we did when he got here was hang out with Natalie and Libby. We were in the livingroom... and Natalie was trying to beat him up. Fun times. :) Then Natalie, jesse, and I went to walmart to get some stuff for the cookies I was going to make for him. Went to walmart, got the stuff... headed over to carousel mall for starbucks coffee! Yay for starbucks! :D I LOVE that place... I miss coffee... can't wait to work at geddes on tues. for some more coffee. :p hehe!
Thennnnn.... we got home... helped my mom unpack the car from all the groceries she got. We then had pizza and some of us watched Anne of green Gables. I was too busy talking to Tina on the phone. Fun conversation. I miss her so much... can't wait till she gets here. *sighs*
Hm... then... Jesse and I made cookies! They came out pretty good. I was HAPPY! I was feeding Jesse, Natalie, and Libby cookie batter. lol. That was fun to see their face expressions... I wanted to see if they thought it was tastyyyy! They enjoyed the baked cookies more, I think. Then... Jesse felt kinda sick from all the cookies he ate... (even though he didn't really eat much... ) so I went in my room where he was... watched some TV while trying to like... make him feel better by giving him back scratch and playing with his hair. He liked it... so... that's good. :)
Then... he had to go home. :( I'm SO glad and thank God that he got home safely... cuz he was so tired and wasn't feeling good at all. So, I was worried. But he's a purty good driver... so... yeah. He was fine. Libby and I sat on my bed and talked a bit and watched some TV till Jesse called. He called... told me about his drive and other stuff... then I went to bed! :) You are amazing, hunney... you make my day... and I <3 you!
Church was amazing today. I took... 2 and a half pages of NOTES! yay for notes! I noticed that I can concentrate better and understand the message when I take notes and read my Bible instead of listening to the pastor quote scripture. He talked about love. And how we... as Christians have to learn how to love one another... so then the people of the world can see the love we have... and realize that we only have it through Christ because Christ is love! :) It was a wonderful message... I loved it. And I liked the worship too, though I almost cried... like... three times. *sighs*
Hm... I got to hang out with JULIE!!! :D I missed her so much... we talked after church for a while... then went out to lunch with her mom and libby... then I went to her home and we TALKED! She's awesome... I can't tell you how AMAZING AND GOOD it felt to talk to her again... it's been FOREVER since we've just... gotten together and TALKED. *sighs* I miss her still... but... at least we got to talk today. And I thanked God for that too. She burned me one of her fav. CDs... called Plumb. I love it...
There's this song on it... called " Cut". I remember the song... cuz she knew about how depressed I was the past summer... and of my struggle with hurting myself. So... she let me listen to the song... This is the song...
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
A fragile flame aged
Is misery
And when our hearts meet
I know you see
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut
When I listened to it again this afternoon... I started crying just remembering that summer... and Libby came in... and I told her of how I felt... how I feel so bad that I'm such a bad example to her... I never want her to do what I have done... and sometimes still do... I struggle with it a lot and I DON'T WANT HER TO DEAL WITH IT. Cuz... it's just.... sad... and gross... and a BURDEN! Hard to let go of... *sighs* While she was hugging me... I cried... in her arms... and then she started crying... *sighs* Then we just sat... and talked a bit... listening to the song... and I wrote it down... (the song) to remember it... and keep the lyrics. Cuz... it's how I felt... in the summer... and sometimes... I still feel what she's talking about. *sighs*
Yeah.... I dunno...
Have a great week guys!
Leave comments if you want... lol... I never get anymore comments. *sniffles* :(
TINA... LOVE YOU!
Jesse... *hugs you and kisses your cheek* I <3 you SO much! You mean SO much to me.
This is how much God loves us!
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth on Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." We don't deserve this kind of love... but... He did it... cuz He has so much mercy and grace. I LOVE HIM!