5 more days....
*sighs* only 5 more days till Tina and Robert come! Tinnaaaa..... come here.... :(
And remember, hunney... this is your last day of classes. Then... spring break, basically. So, yeah. get pumped up! Consider yourself lucky!!! :D I wish I could get a couple days off of work... but I can't, unfortunately.
*sighs* but yeah...... FIVE MORE DAYS!!!! eeekkk.
Lately I have not been doing okay.
bad dreams! I hate bad dreams....
yesterday I came back from work around... 4:20 and I tried to take a nap.... and somehow... bad thoughts were running through my head about my past and such. And I had this picture of these people... who were out in the world... who did the stuff that I used to do... they did all the bad things... and then I heard a whisper... and this is what I heard " Be like them!" and I'm like "what?!".... I almost cried... the whisper was like... so real... I heard it... it freaked me out! And... I was so scared to go to bed last night cuz I didn't want to hear the whisper and see the images. *sighs* And last night... I had a dream that I was talking to Jesse on the phone... and I there were these little kittens running around and scratching me... and Natalie showed up and told her that the kittens were being stupid. And he got mad at me cuz I said the word stupid and he hung up on me. :( I know... ridiculous to call that a bad dream... but to me, it was. *sighs*
Stress.... frustration...anxiety... tiredness... being sick all the time... all leads up to one thing: depression. And I hate it. I hate being sad... I hate starting to feel depressed. I've already seen myself get into my old habits of when I felt stressed out and I NEED to stop them. I keep praying to God and spend time in His word... but the more I do that... the more I start thinking the way I used to. Gosh... *sighs* I hate this. I just want to be... better. I don't want to be sick or tired... I don't want to be stressed out... and I DEFFINATELY don't want to be depressed. So if you guys could pray for me... that'd be so awesome. I'd appreciate every single one of your prayers.
On the happy note though! Michelle... my boss at the bakery wants me to quit my job at ASPEN (the one where I work at kids corner) cuz she wants me to work more hours at her place. hehe. I love that... :) I like it that she likes me. Just the other day we were bagging up sliced hardrolls and she was talking to me... about Greece... I finally was able to tell her that I am half Greek and we used to live there. She was so excited... she's like "No wonder I like you so much!" hehe. She's really cool. I like her a lot. And she can be so GOOFY/SILLY sometimes... she'll randomly start singing and dancing... it's so cute. :) She breaks the tention sometimes. Uhm...
theennnn.... Libby's birthday is today. I decorated her room with happy birthday balloons I bought her and this pink... cofetti paper stuff... and so yeah. Her room looks all birthderee... that's not even a word, but I don't care. :p
I got her a present... a DVD! :) I can't wait till I give it to her. Cuz I know she really likes this movie.
I also got Tina birthday presents. I told them to Robert and he's like "good thinking!" cuz he knows Tina will like them. :) and I'm sure she will...
*sighs*.... I have a headache and am really tired... so I don't feel like typing anymore.
I will talk to you all later...
Love you all!!! <3
Leave comments if you'd like...
Tina... that means you too. ;) *pokes* hehe.
And remember, hunney... this is your last day of classes. Then... spring break, basically. So, yeah. get pumped up! Consider yourself lucky!!! :D I wish I could get a couple days off of work... but I can't, unfortunately.
*sighs* but yeah...... FIVE MORE DAYS!!!! eeekkk.
Lately I have not been doing okay.
bad dreams! I hate bad dreams....
yesterday I came back from work around... 4:20 and I tried to take a nap.... and somehow... bad thoughts were running through my head about my past and such. And I had this picture of these people... who were out in the world... who did the stuff that I used to do... they did all the bad things... and then I heard a whisper... and this is what I heard " Be like them!" and I'm like "what?!".... I almost cried... the whisper was like... so real... I heard it... it freaked me out! And... I was so scared to go to bed last night cuz I didn't want to hear the whisper and see the images. *sighs* And last night... I had a dream that I was talking to Jesse on the phone... and I there were these little kittens running around and scratching me... and Natalie showed up and told her that the kittens were being stupid. And he got mad at me cuz I said the word stupid and he hung up on me. :( I know... ridiculous to call that a bad dream... but to me, it was. *sighs*
Stress.... frustration...anxiety... tiredness... being sick all the time... all leads up to one thing: depression. And I hate it. I hate being sad... I hate starting to feel depressed. I've already seen myself get into my old habits of when I felt stressed out and I NEED to stop them. I keep praying to God and spend time in His word... but the more I do that... the more I start thinking the way I used to. Gosh... *sighs* I hate this. I just want to be... better. I don't want to be sick or tired... I don't want to be stressed out... and I DEFFINATELY don't want to be depressed. So if you guys could pray for me... that'd be so awesome. I'd appreciate every single one of your prayers.
On the happy note though! Michelle... my boss at the bakery wants me to quit my job at ASPEN (the one where I work at kids corner) cuz she wants me to work more hours at her place. hehe. I love that... :) I like it that she likes me. Just the other day we were bagging up sliced hardrolls and she was talking to me... about Greece... I finally was able to tell her that I am half Greek and we used to live there. She was so excited... she's like "No wonder I like you so much!" hehe. She's really cool. I like her a lot. And she can be so GOOFY/SILLY sometimes... she'll randomly start singing and dancing... it's so cute. :) She breaks the tention sometimes. Uhm...
theennnn.... Libby's birthday is today. I decorated her room with happy birthday balloons I bought her and this pink... cofetti paper stuff... and so yeah. Her room looks all birthderee... that's not even a word, but I don't care. :p
I got her a present... a DVD! :) I can't wait till I give it to her. Cuz I know she really likes this movie.
I also got Tina birthday presents. I told them to Robert and he's like "good thinking!" cuz he knows Tina will like them. :) and I'm sure she will...
*sighs*.... I have a headache and am really tired... so I don't feel like typing anymore.
I will talk to you all later...
Love you all!!! <3
Leave comments if you'd like...
Tina... that means you too. ;) *pokes* hehe.