OMG, a post with substance!
I know... it's been a while. It's just hard with not having internet at home... When using a computer at my sister's or at the library like now, it can be hard to sit and write out a long post. But, I've had something on my mind lately, and it's consuming me, so I need to get it out some how.
WARNING: lots of run on sentences, and I apologize if this is hard to follow... just typing my thoughts here. :)
Every so often I look for members of my birth family online. Just out of curiosity. I never find anyone I know. (Found a 2nd cousin.)
The other day I found my younger brother... Now this isn't the youngest (Good brother. We share father.) This is the one that is 3 years younger than me. (we share our mom & I'm 90% sure we share my dad too... But that's irrelevant right now.)
Here's a sibling guide to help minimize confusion.
Me born 1971 mother Debra Bauer father Thomas Eiceman Sr.
Thomas Seman Jr. born 1973 mother Debra Bauer/ father Thomas Eiceman Sr. (I think) We'll call him Tommy.
Thomas Eiceman Jr. born 1981 Mother Madeline Eiceman/ father Thomas Eiceman Sr. We'll call him Tom.
Anyway, so I found Tommy on FB. (Tom has been on for years.)
And he has a 3 year old daughter! He doesn't have anything set as private, so I was able to snoop around. I figured out which one of his FB friends is the mother of Paige. I believe they are still together.
A little back story, Tommy was going to high school at Pine Richaland. He got expelled. (he's THE black sheep of the family.)
His grand parents paid tuition to a neighboring school district so that he could graduate.
It was MY school district! Now back then we didn't know we were related. He was some punk ass, and I was just one of the faceless masses trying to get through the day without being harassed for any number of things that were not perfect about my appearance. (I gave them LOTS of ammunition.)
I don't even think we had any classes together. But for some reason, he singled me out, and made it his goal in life to make my life hell.
How fucked up is that?
Yup, so after graduating, giving him not another thought ever... 12 years later I find out he OF ALL FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE PLANET IS MY FUCKING BROTHER!!!!!
Yea, it really really really messed up my head for a while... It was really hard to deal with. I mean it was bad enough that my birth mother was dead... But to find out HE IS MY BROTHER... Ok. yes. I admit it still messes with my head when I think about it.
So the point of this post is, I haven't spoken to him since the day after our grand father's funeral. (long story.)
He severely hurt me. Took the FIRST opportunity that was presented to him to stab me in the back.
I really feel it is because he is the black sheep of the family, and till I showed up the only living grand child our maternal grand parents had. When I showed up, I wasn't an asshole, I didn't have a bad attitude, I wasn't a smart mouth to my gparents, and I didn't have to go to jail for stupid shit. So I probably made him feel like he looked bad. Maybe? I don't know. This is just a theory after all. Anywho, grm was mad at me, and he got to jam that down my throat.
Since then, I have been glad he's out of my life. I miss my uncle terribly, but since he lives with Gram, and I don't want to make him feel like he's in the middle, I leave him alone. I remember my gram telling me that my brother was great with kids. He was married to a woman for about 5 minutes who had 2 kids. she said he LOVED being their step-dad.
I'm wondering if being a dad has changed him any. I wonder if he regrets what he pulled? If he doesn't know where I am... which he certainly does not, how could he tell me?
I'm contemplating sending him a message through FB.
I mean if it doesn't go well, I can always block him right?
Here are pictures of Paige.
With her mom
With her big sister (half)
I think Derek looks a little like her. What do you think?
BTW Derek is doing great. Still not rolling over, but he's getting a top tooth and drooling like crazy.
He likes to chew his fist, and he's enjoying stuffies now. :)