My Boyfriend
Hello Dearies!
Things with Ben are working out fine at the moment, I love Ben just as much as I did the first time I thought it. Lets go back to that crazy day. My life was great up untill 5 weeks ago, when his ex stopped by " To see Micheal". At this point I am going to have to point out to you if you havent caught on, she didnt come to see his roomate! Anyway I was with Ben at his house, we had stopped by to pick up his mail and a good movie, and thats when it happend. She showed up with two other guys, they were nice, but thats not the point. Everyone was nice and pleasent, but this was VERY Akward! She left shortly after a small coversation that consisted of simple greatings and a few akward laughs. My favorite part was when they left one of her guys actually had the nerve to check me out. I glared at him hopefully sending the "I hate you" message. It was funny, you have to admitt. At first I wasnt mad, but unlike the first time she came by, there was no reason. I couldnt understand why she had come by at all, there just was no reason at all for this uncalled for visit! I dwelled on this crazy 15 minutes for the next 4 weeks, and the more I thought, the angry at her I became. As you know, I did exactly what I was not meaning to do. I took it all out on poor Ben. Those 4 weeks, I know were Hell!!!! We argured everyday, everytime I wasnt with him I thought what if she stopped by again. I couldnt get a grip on myself, I let my thoughts go crazy on this subject. I fought against him telling me he loved me every time. I had somehow convinced myself I wasnt in love with him anymore. This was a very bad thing, in short I was driving him away the only way I knew how, through arguments and anger. After one particuallarly heated agrument about why I never got to do some of the things I wanted and how we always talked about the Altrack, something crazy happend and I remembered that I did love him even if she did comeby and he did want to have sex with Vall. I didnt care anymore, I had a clear view of everything that I loved about him again. It was like the rain clouds faded and everything was sunshine and rainbows. (crazy immagery right!) I dont care what happend as long as I can feel like i do now for always. I must really love Ben, becuase I have had those feelings of hate before and I generally got to break up with that person. As far as I am concered that is done and over with!.
Things with Ben are working out fine at the moment, I love Ben just as much as I did the first time I thought it. Lets go back to that crazy day. My life was great up untill 5 weeks ago, when his ex stopped by " To see Micheal". At this point I am going to have to point out to you if you havent caught on, she didnt come to see his roomate! Anyway I was with Ben at his house, we had stopped by to pick up his mail and a good movie, and thats when it happend. She showed up with two other guys, they were nice, but thats not the point. Everyone was nice and pleasent, but this was VERY Akward! She left shortly after a small coversation that consisted of simple greatings and a few akward laughs. My favorite part was when they left one of her guys actually had the nerve to check me out. I glared at him hopefully sending the "I hate you" message. It was funny, you have to admitt. At first I wasnt mad, but unlike the first time she came by, there was no reason. I couldnt understand why she had come by at all, there just was no reason at all for this uncalled for visit! I dwelled on this crazy 15 minutes for the next 4 weeks, and the more I thought, the angry at her I became. As you know, I did exactly what I was not meaning to do. I took it all out on poor Ben. Those 4 weeks, I know were Hell!!!! We argured everyday, everytime I wasnt with him I thought what if she stopped by again. I couldnt get a grip on myself, I let my thoughts go crazy on this subject. I fought against him telling me he loved me every time. I had somehow convinced myself I wasnt in love with him anymore. This was a very bad thing, in short I was driving him away the only way I knew how, through arguments and anger. After one particuallarly heated agrument about why I never got to do some of the things I wanted and how we always talked about the Altrack, something crazy happend and I remembered that I did love him even if she did comeby and he did want to have sex with Vall. I didnt care anymore, I had a clear view of everything that I loved about him again. It was like the rain clouds faded and everything was sunshine and rainbows. (crazy immagery right!) I dont care what happend as long as I can feel like i do now for always. I must really love Ben, becuase I have had those feelings of hate before and I generally got to break up with that person. As far as I am concered that is done and over with!.