Famous Tedonian Quotes!
Ah, Alisha... remember the days? Sophomore year, Chemistry. Mr. Tedone. I found the quotes! Now all may read and laugh uproariously!
Famous Tedonian Quotes
(by two bored Chemistry students)
2002
Note: All quotes are made by Tedone, unless otherwise indicated; he often talks in third person. Also, just imagine his speach impediment (can't say Rs). It makes the quotes all the more hilarious.
"You touch that again you got five hours of detention!"
"Now is when it gets ugly... almost as ugly as my face."
"Anyway, but, moving along!" (He then continues his pointless story)
"If you put your stuff away I'll kill you."
"I'm gonna take those and confiscate them!"
"Hey, I know I'm ugly, but, look at me."
"You're stupid."
"That's usually where I kill people, right there."
"And if you [insert action here], I'll kill you."
"We would go and do all the things young Italian guys do..."
"Remember the story, one atom I think I lost and electron, are you sure? Yeah I'm positive..."
"Oh, please, gimmie a break."
"So. What kind of evil things are we going to have to do here?"
"Go!" (as in "There's your warmup, Go!)
"Stay back!"
"No! Listen to me!"
"Fst!"
(Tedone): "You following me?" (90% of the class): "No! Go back!" (Tedone): "OK! Going on!"
"That was stupid, that was a really stupid thing to say, even by my standards."
"This chart is a worthless piece of crap."
"I get to call em big idiots!"
"Can I kill him now?"
"I saw things like that on the homework. That was not what I wanted to see."
"That was really evil."
"I've known his parents since I could walk. I don't know."
"If you write that I get to kick you in the shins. Hard. Metal boots. You deserve it."
"You're an idiot!"
"Six divided by two is ... (long pause) ... three! Anyway..."
"Tedone you must relate to those you've very negative. No not really."
"Just go away."
"More things to memorize!"
"I deserve to kick em in the nuts!"
"I'm so mean (mumble mumble mumble)."
"It's a great story..."
"Those old Victorian houses they were those kind of homes, ok? ... The troops had to be entertained ok? ... They only had three minutes, there used to be long lines up to the hotel rooms..."
(Phone beeps... Tedone throws a pen at it) "Go to Hell!" (phone beeps again. Tedone walks angrily over to it, muttering. Then in a totally normal, calm voice) "Bruce Tedone, 108"
"... in my opinion. Tedone that's kind of a stupid thing to say of course it's your opinion no one else is talking."
"I got distracted. Imagine that. Teachers are getting distracted, next Oprah."
(Student): "Mr. Tedone, can you help me with this? I don't understand" (Tedone): "Go sit down, NOW!"
"You smell bad enough Tedone, stop making sense, we hate it when you make sense."
"Get outta here! Scram!"
"You're late, you loose!"
(At the beginning of class, students wonder) "Where's Mr. Tedone?"
"Don't gimmie this 'I don't care' or 'I don't know' that's cheap!"
"Mercurious is the curious one, the weirdo, no one likes it." (Class thinks or whispers softly "Like you, Tedone?")
"I beat my body to a pulp"
"(mumble) can't get up in the morning without twenty pills of Advil."
"There's now just a little less oxygen in the world, cuz I did that experiment ... This room is now just a little more steamier..."
"Gentlemen, look this way."
(In the middle of a student's question) "Stop interrupting people's questions! That's rude!"
"Will you stop that clicking?!" (there wasn't a single click to be heard...)
"Put your hand down! Ten minutes!" (student): "But... I had a question" (Tedone): "Shut up! I've got to finish this!"
"Now what are you talking about, Tedone? Here's what I'm talking about."
"If it takes you more than five seconds to do that, you're in trouble." (The class doesn't even have a clue what he just did...)
"I'm going to ask you to walk up here right now." (student stands and walks halfway across the room) "Sit down! Right now just go and sit down, no sound (mumble mumble) sound."
"Now is not the time for this discussion. Another time, another place. Not now. Can you andle that? Right." (And then Tedone continues the very same discussion)
"You wanna discuss my management issure do it after class" (student): "Tedone, I just had a question." (Tedone): "I don't care. Shut up. After class."
(Student): "Can you explain that?" (Tedone): "No not right now!"
"24 is harder than the average (mumble)."
"Oh yeah right."
"Oh, by the way, something else you have to know!" (it's the last day before the final!)
"Well, I could ask questions on it..."
"I've been abusing kids all day."
"Let me explain my life to you."
"Mamma Tedone raised five children who all navigated life somehow."
(Student): "I have a question" (Tedone): "(mimicking) 'I have a question' GO TO HELL!"
"If you wanna be a chief, be a chief, but if you're an Indian, do what the chief says!"
"And you know what happens? I wanna kill them so bad! I just really wann kill them so bad!" (He kept mumbling and pointing, but the class was laughing really hard, so we didn't catch the rest!)
"Tedone, we hate you. Well yeah, some people have cause (mumble mumble)"
"...it drives me to say things I would never say to another human being."
"You're driving me to scream at kids!"
"How much do you value your life?"
"Camilla I love, she even wrote down my little saying!" (We wonder WHICH ONE he means!)
"Fricasseed and fried maybe. If I could fricassee and fry you maybe I would like you better."
"Expressing some hostility"
"People who have been abusing me and taking the full brunt of my abuse, which was totally not directed at you, Megan" (who he had earlier told to go to Hell because she had a question, see previous quotes."
"I certainly appreciate all the Faiths and Camillas and Lindsays who are working so hard, you know!" (Haha, but what WERE we working on? Eh? Ehh?!)
"Last..." (applause from Mike) "Shut up!" (Tedone shakes his head)
"Andrew, I would really appreciate no more little blurt outs."
"Considering the kind of day I had I sure wouldn't push me much more" (insane laughter from Tedone)
"Go to Hell, Tony!"
"Can't help it some people don't follow directions. I follow directions, ok?"
"Too bad, you got six minutes!" (Last day of class, after the final. We just wanted to go a few minutes early...)
(Student): "In a weird way, I'm gonna miss this class" (Tedone): "In a really really weird way."
(All we ever really heard): "Blah blah blah!"
Famous Tedonian Quotes
(by two bored Chemistry students)
2002
Note: All quotes are made by Tedone, unless otherwise indicated; he often talks in third person. Also, just imagine his speach impediment (can't say Rs). It makes the quotes all the more hilarious.
"You touch that again you got five hours of detention!"
"Now is when it gets ugly... almost as ugly as my face."
"Anyway, but, moving along!" (He then continues his pointless story)
"If you put your stuff away I'll kill you."
"I'm gonna take those and confiscate them!"
"Hey, I know I'm ugly, but, look at me."
"You're stupid."
"That's usually where I kill people, right there."
"And if you [insert action here], I'll kill you."
"We would go and do all the things young Italian guys do..."
"Remember the story, one atom I think I lost and electron, are you sure? Yeah I'm positive..."
"Oh, please, gimmie a break."
"So. What kind of evil things are we going to have to do here?"
"Go!" (as in "There's your warmup, Go!)
"Stay back!"
"No! Listen to me!"
"Fst!"
(Tedone): "You following me?" (90% of the class): "No! Go back!" (Tedone): "OK! Going on!"
"That was stupid, that was a really stupid thing to say, even by my standards."
"This chart is a worthless piece of crap."
"I get to call em big idiots!"
"Can I kill him now?"
"I saw things like that on the homework. That was not what I wanted to see."
"That was really evil."
"I've known his parents since I could walk. I don't know."
"If you write that I get to kick you in the shins. Hard. Metal boots. You deserve it."
"You're an idiot!"
"Six divided by two is ... (long pause) ... three! Anyway..."
"Tedone you must relate to those you've very negative. No not really."
"Just go away."
"More things to memorize!"
"I deserve to kick em in the nuts!"
"I'm so mean (mumble mumble mumble)."
"It's a great story..."
"Those old Victorian houses they were those kind of homes, ok? ... The troops had to be entertained ok? ... They only had three minutes, there used to be long lines up to the hotel rooms..."
(Phone beeps... Tedone throws a pen at it) "Go to Hell!" (phone beeps again. Tedone walks angrily over to it, muttering. Then in a totally normal, calm voice) "Bruce Tedone, 108"
"... in my opinion. Tedone that's kind of a stupid thing to say of course it's your opinion no one else is talking."
"I got distracted. Imagine that. Teachers are getting distracted, next Oprah."
(Student): "Mr. Tedone, can you help me with this? I don't understand" (Tedone): "Go sit down, NOW!"
"You smell bad enough Tedone, stop making sense, we hate it when you make sense."
"Get outta here! Scram!"
"You're late, you loose!"
(At the beginning of class, students wonder) "Where's Mr. Tedone?"
"Don't gimmie this 'I don't care' or 'I don't know' that's cheap!"
"Mercurious is the curious one, the weirdo, no one likes it." (Class thinks or whispers softly "Like you, Tedone?")
"I beat my body to a pulp"
"(mumble) can't get up in the morning without twenty pills of Advil."
"There's now just a little less oxygen in the world, cuz I did that experiment ... This room is now just a little more steamier..."
"Gentlemen, look this way."
(In the middle of a student's question) "Stop interrupting people's questions! That's rude!"
"Will you stop that clicking?!" (there wasn't a single click to be heard...)
"Put your hand down! Ten minutes!" (student): "But... I had a question" (Tedone): "Shut up! I've got to finish this!"
"Now what are you talking about, Tedone? Here's what I'm talking about."
"If it takes you more than five seconds to do that, you're in trouble." (The class doesn't even have a clue what he just did...)
"I'm going to ask you to walk up here right now." (student stands and walks halfway across the room) "Sit down! Right now just go and sit down, no sound (mumble mumble) sound."
"Now is not the time for this discussion. Another time, another place. Not now. Can you andle that? Right." (And then Tedone continues the very same discussion)
"You wanna discuss my management issure do it after class" (student): "Tedone, I just had a question." (Tedone): "I don't care. Shut up. After class."
(Student): "Can you explain that?" (Tedone): "No not right now!"
"24 is harder than the average (mumble)."
"Oh yeah right."
"Oh, by the way, something else you have to know!" (it's the last day before the final!)
"Well, I could ask questions on it..."
"I've been abusing kids all day."
"Let me explain my life to you."
"Mamma Tedone raised five children who all navigated life somehow."
(Student): "I have a question" (Tedone): "(mimicking) 'I have a question' GO TO HELL!"
"If you wanna be a chief, be a chief, but if you're an Indian, do what the chief says!"
"And you know what happens? I wanna kill them so bad! I just really wann kill them so bad!" (He kept mumbling and pointing, but the class was laughing really hard, so we didn't catch the rest!)
"Tedone, we hate you. Well yeah, some people have cause (mumble mumble)"
"...it drives me to say things I would never say to another human being."
"You're driving me to scream at kids!"
"How much do you value your life?"
"Camilla I love, she even wrote down my little saying!" (We wonder WHICH ONE he means!)
"Fricasseed and fried maybe. If I could fricassee and fry you maybe I would like you better."
"Expressing some hostility"
"People who have been abusing me and taking the full brunt of my abuse, which was totally not directed at you, Megan" (who he had earlier told to go to Hell because she had a question, see previous quotes."
"I certainly appreciate all the Faiths and Camillas and Lindsays who are working so hard, you know!" (Haha, but what WERE we working on? Eh? Ehh?!)
"Last..." (applause from Mike) "Shut up!" (Tedone shakes his head)
"Andrew, I would really appreciate no more little blurt outs."
"Considering the kind of day I had I sure wouldn't push me much more" (insane laughter from Tedone)
"Go to Hell, Tony!"
"Can't help it some people don't follow directions. I follow directions, ok?"
"Too bad, you got six minutes!" (Last day of class, after the final. We just wanted to go a few minutes early...)
(Student): "In a weird way, I'm gonna miss this class" (Tedone): "In a really really weird way."
(All we ever really heard): "Blah blah blah!"