Fic: Delayed Changes, Teen Titans OYL, Tim/Cassie/Kon, PG-13, 1/1
While Kon was gone, Cassie and Tim consoled each other. Once Kon came back, what happens to their relationship?
Delayed Changes
***
Death cannot stop true love. It can only delay it for a while.
***
Kon was gone. And now Tim was truly alone.
Alone except for his…project. His secret project. His secret project that he was deluding himself would work. If it didn’t work, then all he had left were his memories, fickle things that they were. And he’d never have a chance to tell Kon…to tell him…
He’d never have another chance.
So Tim pushed aside the morass of guilt and pain he felt as the computer informed him of another failure, and started the sequence again.
It was all he had left.
***
Kon was gone. Bart was depowered, hopefully only temporarily, but…now Cassie and Tim were the last of Young Justice still fighting.
And Tim was…not doing good. Even worse than she was, and that was saying something. But she wasn’t going to let him brood in his ‘cave’ forever.
Only, she found he wasn’t entirely alone. Tim had Kon’s uniform in a case - like Batman kept the second Robin’s, and presumably the fourth - and a computer talking about…
…Kryptonian extraterrestrial DNA? Was Tim trying to…to clone Kon?
He couldn’t be. He wouldn’t… Kon was his best friend, and…
…and Kon was dead.
“What is this?” she demanded as her feet walked by rote from the stairs towards the horrifying sight in front of her. “Tim. What is this place?”
“What does it look like?” Tim returned darkly. But she could still hear the pain and panic in his voice.
It all came out then. Kon’s DNA…the ‘instructions’ for how he was originally created… How could Tim? Whatever…person…Tim created…
It wouldn’t be Kon. But Tim still felt like he was failing his best friend by not being able to bring him back.
“You can’t!” she told him. “He wouldn’t be the Superboy we knew.”
“He’d be close enough,” Tim argued in desperation. “We could make him close enough.”
No, they couldn’t. But how could she make him see that? Especially when there was a part of her that wanted it to work; that wanted Kon back so much that she’d joined that cult…
“I miss him so much,” Tim whimpered, a hitching sob in his voice.
Cassie walked towards him, moved by their thin, yet long-enacted friendship to try and comfort him. “I do, too.” Tears fell unchecked from Tim’s eyes, and she felt dampness on her own cheeks.
Even as their lips met, Cassie knew why he’d tried to bring Kon back, futile hope though it was. Tim had been doing it because he was lonely.
She was lonely, too.
Maybe they could be there for each other.
***
Four Months Later
***
Kon is back.
Those three words went ‘round and ‘round in Tim’s head as he watched his recently-returned-from-the-dead teammate soak up the UV rays in his room at S.T.A.R. Labs.
Kon was back. Found in the midst of the rubble left of CADMUS’s labs in Hawaii, with healed scars over seventy percent of his body detailing exactly what had killed him, and as weak as a kitten.
He’d also been naked, but that was par for the course.
He was the youngest hero to have ever returned from the dead - Jason Todd was an…exception - but Tim couldn’t think of anyone who deserved it more.
He’d saved the world. A lot of worlds.
And now he was back. And well on his way to rebuilding his strength; two days of constant UV ray exposure and he’d woken up for a brief few minutes, long enough to smile at him and Cassie and say he was glad to be back.
Also, that saving the world was cool, but perhaps someone else could do it next time?
Then he’d fallen back asleep, leaving Cassie laughing and crying in Tim’s arms, Tim trying vainly not to join her.
He wasn’t sure if he’d start crying and end up laughing joyously, or start laughing and end up crying in grief. Because, once Kon was better…things would go back to the way they had been. As much as they could, with Kid Devil and Ravager on the Titans and Bart and Speedy…not. But Kon would start dating Cassie again.
And Tim would be more alone than he had been before Kon died. At least then, he’d had Kon and Cassie’s friendship. But now, in the wake of what had happened the week he’d stopped trying to clone Kon…
Tim could handle being just friends with Kon while his love went unrequited. But to see him with Cassie, who had been all that had kept him sane - for certain, very loose, yet Bat-specific values of sane - for over three months… It would be too much to bear, to see both his heart, and his soul together…without him.
Tim had never imagined, when he and Cassie had found solace in each other’s arms that first time, that it would ever grow beyond simple comfort. But it had…at least for him. He couldn’t love Cassie in the same way he loved Kon, of course, just like he couldn’t love either of them in the same way he’d loved Steph, but…it was there.
Tim had to admit it to himself, because denying his feelings for people - as he had with Kon, and, previously, Steph - had only ever led to tragedy before.
That didn’t mean it didn’t terrify him, however. And it made anguish well up inside of his heart, and overflow to all points of his body, to think that he’d never have either of them. Again.
Kon loved Cassie. Cassie loved Kon. And whilst they both did love him - never mind that they never said it; Batman had just adopted him, he knew how to read words into actions - they were in love with each other.
And the only reminders Tim would have of either of them, were the colors of his costume and the memories of being wrapped up in Cassie’s heated embrace.
It would have to be enough. It wasn’t like he had any other choice.
***
Kon is back.
Those words went ‘round and ‘round in Cassie’s head, buzzing like bees - bees of happiness; no, absolute and utter joy.
Kon was back. And now both of the men she loved were alive, and nothing was missing.
Nothing except…Tim.
Frowning, Cassie turned from watching Kon sleep to see Tim slip out of the doorway. He’d been in with Kon as much as she had, but maybe he needed to use the bathroom or something.
An hour later, Cassie was running out of excuses for Tim. If he needed sleep, he would have told her, or, more likely, just gone back to sleeping in the actually rather comfortable (for hospital furniture) chairs in the room like they’d both been doing for a week since Kon had been found.
By the next morning, Cassie knew something was seriously wrong.
***
“Where’s Tim?” was the third thing Kon had asked when he finally woke up for good. The first had been, “Cassie?” to which she’d laughed and said, “Yes.” The second had been, “Is everyone okay?” and she’d tried to smile as she told him about Bart being powerless - for the moment - and Kory being off in outer space getting her head together, and Vic finally being back online, and Gar and Raven’s relationship that wasn’t, but might be again.
That had taken about five minutes. She’d gotten really good at succinct explanations, paring things down to the bare necessities. There wasn’t much use for extraneous things in her life these days. Getting bogged down in the inconsequentials had been what kept her from living life to the fullest before.
No one knew better than the Amazonian daughter of Zeus that if there was the possibility you might live forever, you needed to live. It wasn’t her (seeming) mortality that kept her grounded these days. It was her humanity.
What was left of it. What shreds of her former self she’d been able to hold onto with Tim’s help.
It was all Cassie could do not to flush and turn away from Kon’s inquisitive gaze. Inquisitive, and so trusting, and…naïve. Unknowing of the fact that she’d…that she’d been schtupping his best friend behind his back.
Well, not behind his back. He’d been dead, and she’d been so lonely… She’d hoped and prayed that Kon would come back, but hadn’t dared to expect it. Donna had come back, but Donna was formed of the same immortal, gods-blessed clay that had given Diana life, and Kon…wasn’t. How lucky could one girl - or one Robin - get?
Pretty damn lucky, it looked like.
“He was here,” Cassie told him, and Kon nodded. The minute they’d gotten the news from Oracle, Cassie had grabbed Tim and flown him to S.T.A.R. Labs immediately. She hadn’t even thought twice about it. “But, uh…he left, a few days ago.”
Kon frowned, eyebrows knitting together in that expression she knew so well, his ‘I’m trying to puzzle out Robin’ face. “And he hasn’t been back since?”
Cassie slowly shook her head. “No. And I’m- I’m worried, Kon.” A lump formed in her throat as her mind worked over her fears.
“So am I,” Kon said, a pensive expression coming over his face.
***
He was back. And things…things were strange. Cassie had gotten her powers back, Bart had lost his, Tim had gotten a new costume minus the green, and Ravager had come back over to the side of good minus one eye…
But both Cassie and Tim were acting…strange. Stranger than they should be, not that he really knew how people should act when someone’s lover or best friend came back from the dead. Maybe he should try and track down Black Canary and ask her how she dealt with Green Arrow coming back to life.
Or maybe he should just try and figure out why A) Tim was avoiding him, B) Tim was avoiding him except for the little bird-shaped camera attached to the ceiling (and either Robin’s sneakiness was slipping or boredom had lent Kon patience when it came to observing his surroundings), C) Cassie seemed more worried about Tim’s avoidance than Kon, and D) Cassie refused to talk about their relationship.
Or E) All of the above.
Kon had a feeling that Cassie tensing when he kissed her and Tim being…absent…were connected. He wondered if they’d gotten together while he was…gone. He found that somewhat hard to believe, since Tim had never really…well, he liked Cassie, but like he liked all their teammates, not…like that. Also, he’d pretty much avoided dating ever since his ex-girlfriend died.
But things had changed. It was the one constant in life, after all, and Kon could hardly blame either of them for moving on (if in fact that was what had happened). It wasn’t like coming back from the dead was ever a sure thing for anyone in the superhero set, no matter how often it happened. Sure, Raven had come back, but Jericho hadn’t. Donna had come back, but she still wasn’t all there. Superman, Green Arrow, Hal Jordan, they’d all come back. But Spoiler was still dead, Blue Beetle was dead, Booster Gold had died while he’d been gone, and Jason Todd had come back evil.
And Kon was glad to be back, but he really wished he could figure out what was going on with his friends. Cassie was eager to fill him in on everything that had happened while he was gone - everything she thought he’d be interested in - but she was very vague about Tim. He’d gone away for a year with Batman and Nightwing, staying out of the hero game, then he’d come back to the Titans, bringing in Ravager and Kid Devil and the ‘Wonder Twins,’ who had figured out how to bring Vic back online. It was like she was editing the truth to try and make it more palatable, or at least to not give away…secrets.
What kind of secrets could Tim have developed in a year and a half that she felt unable to share with him?
Bart had come by to visit him three times, on every Sunday afternoon. Apparently he had to work, and without being able to use his super-speed, weekends were the only time he could get away.
“Don’t worry about it, man,” Kon said. “I understand.” And he did, sort of. He’d once been a building superintendent, after all. Responsibilities, duty, and all that.
Needs must wants.
Bart had still looked more miserable than anyone that (usually) happy-go-lucky should. “I’ll be sure to fly over and visit you once I get my strength back.” And Bart had grinned, that same old Impulse grin that he had never quite lost even as Kid Flash.
So things weren’t as bad as all that.
Kon was back, and soon to be better than ever…once he could use his TTK for more than five minutes at a time. But, powers aside, Kon really wished he could figure out why no one seemed to be talking to each other. He’d had to ask Clark about what was going on with Speedy, and Gar, and Raven, because apparently Cassie wasn’t even really a member of the Titans anymore and was out of the loop. Not that Speedy, Gar or Raven were Titans anymore, either.
Tim only dropped by at night, to watch him sleep. Kon had gotten really good at pretending not to wake up when Robin perched outside of his window. Tim Drake came by on Saturday mornings right after his physical therapy - when Cassie was still at Titans’ Tower before her afternoon visit - and made carefully casual conversation about the weather and the Knights, and, when pressed, about Rose and Eddie’s weird flirtation - which for some reason made him get this odd, almost pinched look on his face - but rarely about himself, and never about Cassie.
Then, after two hours, he’d say goodbye, and actually hug Kon. It wasn’t that he’d never gotten a hug from Tim - or Robin - before, but he’d always been the one to initiate it.
This time Tim was, and when he let go…well, it was obvious he didn’t want to let go.
Cassie came by everyday after school. She talked about Tim, about how worried she was about him, about…certain things that Robin had been working on that he wasn’t anymore, but that had started her worrying.
And she’d always mention how much Tim had missed him, as if he’d missed him more than she had. Or that his mourning had been more…volatile.
That made Kon worried. That and how…different Cassie acted around him. When Kon gave her a kiss goodbye after their hug, it always took her a moment to respond. But she did respond, and it was just like kissing Cassie had always been: warm, and the velvet glove over iron fist strength of someone who was his physical match.
It was just like it had been, except for the changes. Cassie didn’t kiss as hard as she used to. She kissed him as soft as she had before they’d figured out that with them both having super-strength, neither of them needed to worry about holding back.
She kissed him like he had kissed her their last night together, when they were both so desperate for the contact, not wanting to hold back with their feelings despite having to hold back physically since they did need to worry about hurting each other, what with him having powers and her…not.
She kissed him like she was welcoming him back and saying goodbye all at once. Not saying goodbye to him, but to…something.
Kon wondered if she was saying goodbye to Tim.
***
Kon was back. Alive and well, breathing once more, and now S.T.A.R. Labs had declared him fit to get back to the action, and he was back in the Tower.
Back where he belonged: with his friends, and family. And the few black sheep and newly adopted kids that had come onto the scene since the last family reunion.
Ravager flirted with him shamelessly. Eddie’s tail switched back and forth and he scowled at the interloper in their midst before finally dragging Rose off to talk. Cassie hoped they’d finally clear the air between them. And hopefully do something about the sexual tension that was thicker than the smell of Kid Devil’s brimstone breath.
Cassie found herself watching as Tim played a strange sort of game of keep-away with Kon. Tim kept trying to stay away from Kon while she was there - or at least out of touching distance - and Kon kept trying to keep Tim from leaving.
Cassie didn’t really know what to do; Tim had avoided her even more assiduously than Kon the past two months, and it wasn’t like she didn’t understand. It had started out as comfort, them being two of the three people that knew Kon best. That loved Kon the most.
But somewhere along the way…it grew. Grew from needing each other for Kon’s sake to loving each other for their own sakes. And while Cassie was thrilled that Kon was back, the rest of her was already grieving for losing Tim.
Because she would lose him. With Kon back, and him unaware of Tim’s feelings for him, he and her would naturally resume their previous relationship.
Without Tim.
It wasn’t like she could date them…both.
Cassie blinked. Or…wait. Why couldn’t she? Why couldn’t they?
She didn’t even notice as Tim and Kon shared a speaking glance between them, each asking the other, What’s up with her? If she’d seen that shared look, Cassie would have been heartened to note how seamlessly they fell back into their friendship, even with Tim being avoidy and broody and cranky and an entire alphabet of Bat-adjectives.
As it was, Cassie found herself too caught up in her own thoughts to realize that the elephant-sized problem sitting between the three of them might not have been quite so large as she’d thought.
It still needed to be solved, however. And the solution was so simple in Cassie’s mind. Simple, and yet…complicated.
But it wasn’t really possible for things between the three of them to get anymore fucked up.
***
When Cassie turned to Kon, Tim left the room. Unbeknownst to either of the two meta teens, he waited outside the room, drinking in the sight of the two people he loved.
Loved, and would never have (again).
He hadn’t stopped trying to bring Kon back to life until Kon had done it on his own. Now, his not-so-secret anymore cloning lab defunct, his relationships with the other Bats strained (or estranged, in the case of Dick and Cass), and the only one at the Tower he felt comfortable talking with being Vic - since Rose kept trying to seduce him, and Cassie…he couldn’t be around Cassie right then - who was now a part of the Tower…
Tim didn’t have anyone left. Even when people came back, he was still alone. It was only his own innate selflessness that kept him from regretting that Kon came back, only to leave him once more.
Tim found himself in a moment of surrealism, wondering if Cass would succeed in bringing Steph back via the Lazarus Pit, and if that would turn out to blow up in her face like Kon’s coming back had blown up in his. He didn’t, honestly, see how things could get worse for him, but the last little bit of sanity he had clung to caused him to refrain from even venturing a thought in that direction.
If things could get worse, he didn’t want to see it.
What he did see, was Cassie having a much-postponed talk with Kon regarding…their relationship. And, unable to bear the thought of both seeing it, and hearing it, Tim closed his eyes.
And prayed for it to be over with quickly, this severing of the last true tie to days when his life didn’t suck so much.
***
“Kon…” Cassie said, and motioned to a quiet corner of the now-deserted room. One where they could see anyone who came in., and have the advantage over them.
She’d learned a lot of things in the four months before Kon came back, just by observation, and not all of it had been from Tim.
“Cassie…” Kon licked his lips and fidgeted in that oh-so-familiar way. “We need to talk, huh?”
“Yeah, we do,” Cassie agreed, pleased that he saw the wisdom in that. Being dead did tend to lend a certain gravity to one’s personality, or so Donna had once said in a fit of maudlin (actually, drunken) pique. Or maybe she wasn’t the only one who had grown up; she certainly remembered that Kon had been more mature ever since he came back from the future, all avoidance of the superhero life aside.
But that was over with, and he was back, and all three of them had to deal with…things. Even if Tim wasn’t so much dealing as letting everyone else run roughshod over him and decide things for him.
And that was why she was doing this, here and now, before she’d even really decided what she wanted. Because she knew what she wanted for Tim, for them all; they all deserved to be happy. And even though she didn’t know exactly how that could come about with things as they were…they could figure it out.
Together. “While you were gone…” Cassie felt her throat tighten, a wave of no-longer-applicable grief threatening to drown her. “While you were…you were gone…” She choked and turned away, taking heart from the shadow near the door that reminded her of Robin’s new cape.
“While I was…gone,” Kon repeated, reaching out with one hand for hers.
Cassie clung to his hand like a lifeline, since that was what it was. Even if it only barely kept her above water, since she needed Tim to find her feet on land. And she needed both of them to fly. She was pretty sure they all three needed something from each other, because even before she’d been able to tell that her relationship with Kon had problems. It was…fragmentary at best. With lots of rough spots that neither of them knew how best to navigate.
But with Tim there, maybe they could all make it easier on each other. Be there for each other. Support each other. “While you were gone…I missed you so much. And so did he. And we…we both…we needed…” She looked away, unable to bear seeing what expression would come over her first, but no longer only, lover’s face.
“You…got together.” And if the resigned tone to his face hadn’t told her what he expected, his releasing her hand did.
“Yes. But neither of us expected it to…and then it did, but we couldn’t forget you, and…” Cassie trailed off, incapable of explaining how it was between them all.
Kon’s face squinched up, and for a moment Cassie thought he was going to cry. But he seemed more resigned than actually sad. “So you’re…with Tim now.” He swallowed, obviously setting himself up to ‘be the bigger man.’ It was…sweet when he tried to ‘Do The Right Thing’ a la Superman, and, while he didn’t fall short, he never came off as quite so high-and-mighty as his mentor. “I…kinda hoped you might have moved on by now. I didn’t want you to…y’know…not. To be sad.” To brood and wait for him and not live, like Tim had been doing.
“But I was sad…and I haven’t really moved on. I still…I still love you,” Cassie objected, unable even in the face of their shared pain to say that they both still loved Kon, even though she was sure Tim did. He hadn’t exactly been acting like it lately, taking refuge in Robin’s broodiness as he had been.
Kon blinked, his jaw falling open more than a bit in his obvious shock. “Huh?”
“I don’t want to lose you again, Kon,” Cassie said firmly. “Not now that I’ve got you back.” But she didn’t want to lose Tim, either, and oh, how it hurt to think that she might have already. Through no real doing of her own - or even Kon’s - but simply Tim refusing to deal and pushing them both away before they even started trying to pull him back to them.
“So what…what does that mean?” Kon asked, and Cassie faltered.
“I…I’m not sure,” she said, because she wasn’t. Just because it was what she wanted didn’t make it right. And it didn’t mean that either Tim or Kon would want it, too. She knew Tim loved Kon - was in love with him, like she was with both of them - but maybe in the four months they’d been together, or the year before that, his feelings had gone away.
She didn’t think so, but then, ironically, Tim was the least of her worries. She knew Tim had feelings for Kon, but whether or not Kon loved Tim…that she didn’t know.
“I know what I want, but…” Cassie sighed, and turned towards the door. “Tim, get out here. We need to talk.” When that didn’t herald a rustle of Tim’s cape as he answered her call, she scowled. “All of us.”
Kon didn’t look surprised at all that she’d called Tim out; his super-hearing must have been back online. He did look rather uncomfortable at the impending conversation, however.
And then Robin angsted his way into the room. At least that was what it felt like. He crept closer, back straight, trying to pretend the situation didn’t affect him, but the lines around his mouth indicated that he was doing his best not to cringe.
And Cassie had come to know Tim’s expressions of sadness quite well in the past half-year.
Tim stood, equidistant from both her and Kon, cape shrouding him from view. He said nothing, but tilted his head towards Cassie, as if awaiting her words. Cassie stared pointedly at his mask until he flipped the lenses down, hand retreating back into the sanctuary of his cape.
Once she could see his eyes, Cassie had no doubts about what she was going to propose. Doubts that it would work, doubts that either of them would accept, yes; but not doubts that it was the right idea.
Tim was already grieving, again. And this time…she didn’t know if it would be possible for anyone to pull him back from the brink.
Kon was not as patient as Robin. He was of the ‘rip off the bandage and get it over with’ school of pain-management. To his mind, drawing it out didn’t lessen the overall impact, it just extended the hurt. “So, what do you- I mean, do you wanna get back together?” Kon asked.
“No,” Cassie said, taking both Kon and Tim by surprise, but for entirely different reasons. She needed to clear up the confusion fast, as much for her own piece of mind as the boys’. “I mean yes, sort of. Kon…I want to get back together with you.” Tim’s face fell, even as Kon’s lightened. “But I’m not giving up Tim.” At Tim’s startled expression, she turned to Kon, who looked equally as flummoxed, though - accepting? - and laid down the law. “We’re not leaving him alone.”
Tim was shaking his head and backing away, even as his eyes shone with yearning. Kon, however, while he hadn’t quite gotten his TTK back up to snuff, still knew how to keep Robin from running off. He snatched Tim back, pulling him until Tim was catty-corner to both of them, and then he looked at her, a question in his eyes.
Cassie smiled, and wrapped her arms around them both, right arm around Tim’s hunched shoulders, left arm around Kon’s broad back. “I don’t want to lose either of you. Ever again,” she murmured against Tim’s hair and Kon’s shirt.
Tim let out a long, soft sigh and leaned into them both. “Me either,” he whispered, giving a sort of choked sob.
“Next time, someone else can save the world,” Kon said gruffly into Cassie’s neck. “The kudos aren’t worth it.” He sniffled a bit, obviously holding back tears of his own.
“This is,” Cassie said, the knot of pain/worry/anger/hope in her heart finally loosening, even as tears of relief fell down her cheeks.
“Yeah,” Tim agreed.
Kon was back with them. And they’d never be alone again.
Delayed Changes
***
Death cannot stop true love. It can only delay it for a while.
***
Kon was gone. And now Tim was truly alone.
Alone except for his…project. His secret project. His secret project that he was deluding himself would work. If it didn’t work, then all he had left were his memories, fickle things that they were. And he’d never have a chance to tell Kon…to tell him…
He’d never have another chance.
So Tim pushed aside the morass of guilt and pain he felt as the computer informed him of another failure, and started the sequence again.
It was all he had left.
***
Kon was gone. Bart was depowered, hopefully only temporarily, but…now Cassie and Tim were the last of Young Justice still fighting.
And Tim was…not doing good. Even worse than she was, and that was saying something. But she wasn’t going to let him brood in his ‘cave’ forever.
Only, she found he wasn’t entirely alone. Tim had Kon’s uniform in a case - like Batman kept the second Robin’s, and presumably the fourth - and a computer talking about…
…Kryptonian extraterrestrial DNA? Was Tim trying to…to clone Kon?
He couldn’t be. He wouldn’t… Kon was his best friend, and…
…and Kon was dead.
“What is this?” she demanded as her feet walked by rote from the stairs towards the horrifying sight in front of her. “Tim. What is this place?”
“What does it look like?” Tim returned darkly. But she could still hear the pain and panic in his voice.
It all came out then. Kon’s DNA…the ‘instructions’ for how he was originally created… How could Tim? Whatever…person…Tim created…
It wouldn’t be Kon. But Tim still felt like he was failing his best friend by not being able to bring him back.
“You can’t!” she told him. “He wouldn’t be the Superboy we knew.”
“He’d be close enough,” Tim argued in desperation. “We could make him close enough.”
No, they couldn’t. But how could she make him see that? Especially when there was a part of her that wanted it to work; that wanted Kon back so much that she’d joined that cult…
“I miss him so much,” Tim whimpered, a hitching sob in his voice.
Cassie walked towards him, moved by their thin, yet long-enacted friendship to try and comfort him. “I do, too.” Tears fell unchecked from Tim’s eyes, and she felt dampness on her own cheeks.
Even as their lips met, Cassie knew why he’d tried to bring Kon back, futile hope though it was. Tim had been doing it because he was lonely.
She was lonely, too.
Maybe they could be there for each other.
***
Four Months Later
***
Kon is back.
Those three words went ‘round and ‘round in Tim’s head as he watched his recently-returned-from-the-dead teammate soak up the UV rays in his room at S.T.A.R. Labs.
Kon was back. Found in the midst of the rubble left of CADMUS’s labs in Hawaii, with healed scars over seventy percent of his body detailing exactly what had killed him, and as weak as a kitten.
He’d also been naked, but that was par for the course.
He was the youngest hero to have ever returned from the dead - Jason Todd was an…exception - but Tim couldn’t think of anyone who deserved it more.
He’d saved the world. A lot of worlds.
And now he was back. And well on his way to rebuilding his strength; two days of constant UV ray exposure and he’d woken up for a brief few minutes, long enough to smile at him and Cassie and say he was glad to be back.
Also, that saving the world was cool, but perhaps someone else could do it next time?
Then he’d fallen back asleep, leaving Cassie laughing and crying in Tim’s arms, Tim trying vainly not to join her.
He wasn’t sure if he’d start crying and end up laughing joyously, or start laughing and end up crying in grief. Because, once Kon was better…things would go back to the way they had been. As much as they could, with Kid Devil and Ravager on the Titans and Bart and Speedy…not. But Kon would start dating Cassie again.
And Tim would be more alone than he had been before Kon died. At least then, he’d had Kon and Cassie’s friendship. But now, in the wake of what had happened the week he’d stopped trying to clone Kon…
Tim could handle being just friends with Kon while his love went unrequited. But to see him with Cassie, who had been all that had kept him sane - for certain, very loose, yet Bat-specific values of sane - for over three months… It would be too much to bear, to see both his heart, and his soul together…without him.
Tim had never imagined, when he and Cassie had found solace in each other’s arms that first time, that it would ever grow beyond simple comfort. But it had…at least for him. He couldn’t love Cassie in the same way he loved Kon, of course, just like he couldn’t love either of them in the same way he’d loved Steph, but…it was there.
Tim had to admit it to himself, because denying his feelings for people - as he had with Kon, and, previously, Steph - had only ever led to tragedy before.
That didn’t mean it didn’t terrify him, however. And it made anguish well up inside of his heart, and overflow to all points of his body, to think that he’d never have either of them. Again.
Kon loved Cassie. Cassie loved Kon. And whilst they both did love him - never mind that they never said it; Batman had just adopted him, he knew how to read words into actions - they were in love with each other.
And the only reminders Tim would have of either of them, were the colors of his costume and the memories of being wrapped up in Cassie’s heated embrace.
It would have to be enough. It wasn’t like he had any other choice.
***
Kon is back.
Those words went ‘round and ‘round in Cassie’s head, buzzing like bees - bees of happiness; no, absolute and utter joy.
Kon was back. And now both of the men she loved were alive, and nothing was missing.
Nothing except…Tim.
Frowning, Cassie turned from watching Kon sleep to see Tim slip out of the doorway. He’d been in with Kon as much as she had, but maybe he needed to use the bathroom or something.
An hour later, Cassie was running out of excuses for Tim. If he needed sleep, he would have told her, or, more likely, just gone back to sleeping in the actually rather comfortable (for hospital furniture) chairs in the room like they’d both been doing for a week since Kon had been found.
By the next morning, Cassie knew something was seriously wrong.
***
“Where’s Tim?” was the third thing Kon had asked when he finally woke up for good. The first had been, “Cassie?” to which she’d laughed and said, “Yes.” The second had been, “Is everyone okay?” and she’d tried to smile as she told him about Bart being powerless - for the moment - and Kory being off in outer space getting her head together, and Vic finally being back online, and Gar and Raven’s relationship that wasn’t, but might be again.
That had taken about five minutes. She’d gotten really good at succinct explanations, paring things down to the bare necessities. There wasn’t much use for extraneous things in her life these days. Getting bogged down in the inconsequentials had been what kept her from living life to the fullest before.
No one knew better than the Amazonian daughter of Zeus that if there was the possibility you might live forever, you needed to live. It wasn’t her (seeming) mortality that kept her grounded these days. It was her humanity.
What was left of it. What shreds of her former self she’d been able to hold onto with Tim’s help.
It was all Cassie could do not to flush and turn away from Kon’s inquisitive gaze. Inquisitive, and so trusting, and…naïve. Unknowing of the fact that she’d…that she’d been schtupping his best friend behind his back.
Well, not behind his back. He’d been dead, and she’d been so lonely… She’d hoped and prayed that Kon would come back, but hadn’t dared to expect it. Donna had come back, but Donna was formed of the same immortal, gods-blessed clay that had given Diana life, and Kon…wasn’t. How lucky could one girl - or one Robin - get?
Pretty damn lucky, it looked like.
“He was here,” Cassie told him, and Kon nodded. The minute they’d gotten the news from Oracle, Cassie had grabbed Tim and flown him to S.T.A.R. Labs immediately. She hadn’t even thought twice about it. “But, uh…he left, a few days ago.”
Kon frowned, eyebrows knitting together in that expression she knew so well, his ‘I’m trying to puzzle out Robin’ face. “And he hasn’t been back since?”
Cassie slowly shook her head. “No. And I’m- I’m worried, Kon.” A lump formed in her throat as her mind worked over her fears.
“So am I,” Kon said, a pensive expression coming over his face.
***
He was back. And things…things were strange. Cassie had gotten her powers back, Bart had lost his, Tim had gotten a new costume minus the green, and Ravager had come back over to the side of good minus one eye…
But both Cassie and Tim were acting…strange. Stranger than they should be, not that he really knew how people should act when someone’s lover or best friend came back from the dead. Maybe he should try and track down Black Canary and ask her how she dealt with Green Arrow coming back to life.
Or maybe he should just try and figure out why A) Tim was avoiding him, B) Tim was avoiding him except for the little bird-shaped camera attached to the ceiling (and either Robin’s sneakiness was slipping or boredom had lent Kon patience when it came to observing his surroundings), C) Cassie seemed more worried about Tim’s avoidance than Kon, and D) Cassie refused to talk about their relationship.
Or E) All of the above.
Kon had a feeling that Cassie tensing when he kissed her and Tim being…absent…were connected. He wondered if they’d gotten together while he was…gone. He found that somewhat hard to believe, since Tim had never really…well, he liked Cassie, but like he liked all their teammates, not…like that. Also, he’d pretty much avoided dating ever since his ex-girlfriend died.
But things had changed. It was the one constant in life, after all, and Kon could hardly blame either of them for moving on (if in fact that was what had happened). It wasn’t like coming back from the dead was ever a sure thing for anyone in the superhero set, no matter how often it happened. Sure, Raven had come back, but Jericho hadn’t. Donna had come back, but she still wasn’t all there. Superman, Green Arrow, Hal Jordan, they’d all come back. But Spoiler was still dead, Blue Beetle was dead, Booster Gold had died while he’d been gone, and Jason Todd had come back evil.
And Kon was glad to be back, but he really wished he could figure out what was going on with his friends. Cassie was eager to fill him in on everything that had happened while he was gone - everything she thought he’d be interested in - but she was very vague about Tim. He’d gone away for a year with Batman and Nightwing, staying out of the hero game, then he’d come back to the Titans, bringing in Ravager and Kid Devil and the ‘Wonder Twins,’ who had figured out how to bring Vic back online. It was like she was editing the truth to try and make it more palatable, or at least to not give away…secrets.
What kind of secrets could Tim have developed in a year and a half that she felt unable to share with him?
Bart had come by to visit him three times, on every Sunday afternoon. Apparently he had to work, and without being able to use his super-speed, weekends were the only time he could get away.
“Don’t worry about it, man,” Kon said. “I understand.” And he did, sort of. He’d once been a building superintendent, after all. Responsibilities, duty, and all that.
Needs must wants.
Bart had still looked more miserable than anyone that (usually) happy-go-lucky should. “I’ll be sure to fly over and visit you once I get my strength back.” And Bart had grinned, that same old Impulse grin that he had never quite lost even as Kid Flash.
So things weren’t as bad as all that.
Kon was back, and soon to be better than ever…once he could use his TTK for more than five minutes at a time. But, powers aside, Kon really wished he could figure out why no one seemed to be talking to each other. He’d had to ask Clark about what was going on with Speedy, and Gar, and Raven, because apparently Cassie wasn’t even really a member of the Titans anymore and was out of the loop. Not that Speedy, Gar or Raven were Titans anymore, either.
Tim only dropped by at night, to watch him sleep. Kon had gotten really good at pretending not to wake up when Robin perched outside of his window. Tim Drake came by on Saturday mornings right after his physical therapy - when Cassie was still at Titans’ Tower before her afternoon visit - and made carefully casual conversation about the weather and the Knights, and, when pressed, about Rose and Eddie’s weird flirtation - which for some reason made him get this odd, almost pinched look on his face - but rarely about himself, and never about Cassie.
Then, after two hours, he’d say goodbye, and actually hug Kon. It wasn’t that he’d never gotten a hug from Tim - or Robin - before, but he’d always been the one to initiate it.
This time Tim was, and when he let go…well, it was obvious he didn’t want to let go.
Cassie came by everyday after school. She talked about Tim, about how worried she was about him, about…certain things that Robin had been working on that he wasn’t anymore, but that had started her worrying.
And she’d always mention how much Tim had missed him, as if he’d missed him more than she had. Or that his mourning had been more…volatile.
That made Kon worried. That and how…different Cassie acted around him. When Kon gave her a kiss goodbye after their hug, it always took her a moment to respond. But she did respond, and it was just like kissing Cassie had always been: warm, and the velvet glove over iron fist strength of someone who was his physical match.
It was just like it had been, except for the changes. Cassie didn’t kiss as hard as she used to. She kissed him as soft as she had before they’d figured out that with them both having super-strength, neither of them needed to worry about holding back.
She kissed him like he had kissed her their last night together, when they were both so desperate for the contact, not wanting to hold back with their feelings despite having to hold back physically since they did need to worry about hurting each other, what with him having powers and her…not.
She kissed him like she was welcoming him back and saying goodbye all at once. Not saying goodbye to him, but to…something.
Kon wondered if she was saying goodbye to Tim.
***
Kon was back. Alive and well, breathing once more, and now S.T.A.R. Labs had declared him fit to get back to the action, and he was back in the Tower.
Back where he belonged: with his friends, and family. And the few black sheep and newly adopted kids that had come onto the scene since the last family reunion.
Ravager flirted with him shamelessly. Eddie’s tail switched back and forth and he scowled at the interloper in their midst before finally dragging Rose off to talk. Cassie hoped they’d finally clear the air between them. And hopefully do something about the sexual tension that was thicker than the smell of Kid Devil’s brimstone breath.
Cassie found herself watching as Tim played a strange sort of game of keep-away with Kon. Tim kept trying to stay away from Kon while she was there - or at least out of touching distance - and Kon kept trying to keep Tim from leaving.
Cassie didn’t really know what to do; Tim had avoided her even more assiduously than Kon the past two months, and it wasn’t like she didn’t understand. It had started out as comfort, them being two of the three people that knew Kon best. That loved Kon the most.
But somewhere along the way…it grew. Grew from needing each other for Kon’s sake to loving each other for their own sakes. And while Cassie was thrilled that Kon was back, the rest of her was already grieving for losing Tim.
Because she would lose him. With Kon back, and him unaware of Tim’s feelings for him, he and her would naturally resume their previous relationship.
Without Tim.
It wasn’t like she could date them…both.
Cassie blinked. Or…wait. Why couldn’t she? Why couldn’t they?
She didn’t even notice as Tim and Kon shared a speaking glance between them, each asking the other, What’s up with her? If she’d seen that shared look, Cassie would have been heartened to note how seamlessly they fell back into their friendship, even with Tim being avoidy and broody and cranky and an entire alphabet of Bat-adjectives.
As it was, Cassie found herself too caught up in her own thoughts to realize that the elephant-sized problem sitting between the three of them might not have been quite so large as she’d thought.
It still needed to be solved, however. And the solution was so simple in Cassie’s mind. Simple, and yet…complicated.
But it wasn’t really possible for things between the three of them to get anymore fucked up.
***
When Cassie turned to Kon, Tim left the room. Unbeknownst to either of the two meta teens, he waited outside the room, drinking in the sight of the two people he loved.
Loved, and would never have (again).
He hadn’t stopped trying to bring Kon back to life until Kon had done it on his own. Now, his not-so-secret anymore cloning lab defunct, his relationships with the other Bats strained (or estranged, in the case of Dick and Cass), and the only one at the Tower he felt comfortable talking with being Vic - since Rose kept trying to seduce him, and Cassie…he couldn’t be around Cassie right then - who was now a part of the Tower…
Tim didn’t have anyone left. Even when people came back, he was still alone. It was only his own innate selflessness that kept him from regretting that Kon came back, only to leave him once more.
Tim found himself in a moment of surrealism, wondering if Cass would succeed in bringing Steph back via the Lazarus Pit, and if that would turn out to blow up in her face like Kon’s coming back had blown up in his. He didn’t, honestly, see how things could get worse for him, but the last little bit of sanity he had clung to caused him to refrain from even venturing a thought in that direction.
If things could get worse, he didn’t want to see it.
What he did see, was Cassie having a much-postponed talk with Kon regarding…their relationship. And, unable to bear the thought of both seeing it, and hearing it, Tim closed his eyes.
And prayed for it to be over with quickly, this severing of the last true tie to days when his life didn’t suck so much.
***
“Kon…” Cassie said, and motioned to a quiet corner of the now-deserted room. One where they could see anyone who came in., and have the advantage over them.
She’d learned a lot of things in the four months before Kon came back, just by observation, and not all of it had been from Tim.
“Cassie…” Kon licked his lips and fidgeted in that oh-so-familiar way. “We need to talk, huh?”
“Yeah, we do,” Cassie agreed, pleased that he saw the wisdom in that. Being dead did tend to lend a certain gravity to one’s personality, or so Donna had once said in a fit of maudlin (actually, drunken) pique. Or maybe she wasn’t the only one who had grown up; she certainly remembered that Kon had been more mature ever since he came back from the future, all avoidance of the superhero life aside.
But that was over with, and he was back, and all three of them had to deal with…things. Even if Tim wasn’t so much dealing as letting everyone else run roughshod over him and decide things for him.
And that was why she was doing this, here and now, before she’d even really decided what she wanted. Because she knew what she wanted for Tim, for them all; they all deserved to be happy. And even though she didn’t know exactly how that could come about with things as they were…they could figure it out.
Together. “While you were gone…” Cassie felt her throat tighten, a wave of no-longer-applicable grief threatening to drown her. “While you were…you were gone…” She choked and turned away, taking heart from the shadow near the door that reminded her of Robin’s new cape.
“While I was…gone,” Kon repeated, reaching out with one hand for hers.
Cassie clung to his hand like a lifeline, since that was what it was. Even if it only barely kept her above water, since she needed Tim to find her feet on land. And she needed both of them to fly. She was pretty sure they all three needed something from each other, because even before she’d been able to tell that her relationship with Kon had problems. It was…fragmentary at best. With lots of rough spots that neither of them knew how best to navigate.
But with Tim there, maybe they could all make it easier on each other. Be there for each other. Support each other. “While you were gone…I missed you so much. And so did he. And we…we both…we needed…” She looked away, unable to bear seeing what expression would come over her first, but no longer only, lover’s face.
“You…got together.” And if the resigned tone to his face hadn’t told her what he expected, his releasing her hand did.
“Yes. But neither of us expected it to…and then it did, but we couldn’t forget you, and…” Cassie trailed off, incapable of explaining how it was between them all.
Kon’s face squinched up, and for a moment Cassie thought he was going to cry. But he seemed more resigned than actually sad. “So you’re…with Tim now.” He swallowed, obviously setting himself up to ‘be the bigger man.’ It was…sweet when he tried to ‘Do The Right Thing’ a la Superman, and, while he didn’t fall short, he never came off as quite so high-and-mighty as his mentor. “I…kinda hoped you might have moved on by now. I didn’t want you to…y’know…not. To be sad.” To brood and wait for him and not live, like Tim had been doing.
“But I was sad…and I haven’t really moved on. I still…I still love you,” Cassie objected, unable even in the face of their shared pain to say that they both still loved Kon, even though she was sure Tim did. He hadn’t exactly been acting like it lately, taking refuge in Robin’s broodiness as he had been.
Kon blinked, his jaw falling open more than a bit in his obvious shock. “Huh?”
“I don’t want to lose you again, Kon,” Cassie said firmly. “Not now that I’ve got you back.” But she didn’t want to lose Tim, either, and oh, how it hurt to think that she might have already. Through no real doing of her own - or even Kon’s - but simply Tim refusing to deal and pushing them both away before they even started trying to pull him back to them.
“So what…what does that mean?” Kon asked, and Cassie faltered.
“I…I’m not sure,” she said, because she wasn’t. Just because it was what she wanted didn’t make it right. And it didn’t mean that either Tim or Kon would want it, too. She knew Tim loved Kon - was in love with him, like she was with both of them - but maybe in the four months they’d been together, or the year before that, his feelings had gone away.
She didn’t think so, but then, ironically, Tim was the least of her worries. She knew Tim had feelings for Kon, but whether or not Kon loved Tim…that she didn’t know.
“I know what I want, but…” Cassie sighed, and turned towards the door. “Tim, get out here. We need to talk.” When that didn’t herald a rustle of Tim’s cape as he answered her call, she scowled. “All of us.”
Kon didn’t look surprised at all that she’d called Tim out; his super-hearing must have been back online. He did look rather uncomfortable at the impending conversation, however.
And then Robin angsted his way into the room. At least that was what it felt like. He crept closer, back straight, trying to pretend the situation didn’t affect him, but the lines around his mouth indicated that he was doing his best not to cringe.
And Cassie had come to know Tim’s expressions of sadness quite well in the past half-year.
Tim stood, equidistant from both her and Kon, cape shrouding him from view. He said nothing, but tilted his head towards Cassie, as if awaiting her words. Cassie stared pointedly at his mask until he flipped the lenses down, hand retreating back into the sanctuary of his cape.
Once she could see his eyes, Cassie had no doubts about what she was going to propose. Doubts that it would work, doubts that either of them would accept, yes; but not doubts that it was the right idea.
Tim was already grieving, again. And this time…she didn’t know if it would be possible for anyone to pull him back from the brink.
Kon was not as patient as Robin. He was of the ‘rip off the bandage and get it over with’ school of pain-management. To his mind, drawing it out didn’t lessen the overall impact, it just extended the hurt. “So, what do you- I mean, do you wanna get back together?” Kon asked.
“No,” Cassie said, taking both Kon and Tim by surprise, but for entirely different reasons. She needed to clear up the confusion fast, as much for her own piece of mind as the boys’. “I mean yes, sort of. Kon…I want to get back together with you.” Tim’s face fell, even as Kon’s lightened. “But I’m not giving up Tim.” At Tim’s startled expression, she turned to Kon, who looked equally as flummoxed, though - accepting? - and laid down the law. “We’re not leaving him alone.”
Tim was shaking his head and backing away, even as his eyes shone with yearning. Kon, however, while he hadn’t quite gotten his TTK back up to snuff, still knew how to keep Robin from running off. He snatched Tim back, pulling him until Tim was catty-corner to both of them, and then he looked at her, a question in his eyes.
Cassie smiled, and wrapped her arms around them both, right arm around Tim’s hunched shoulders, left arm around Kon’s broad back. “I don’t want to lose either of you. Ever again,” she murmured against Tim’s hair and Kon’s shirt.
Tim let out a long, soft sigh and leaned into them both. “Me either,” he whispered, giving a sort of choked sob.
“Next time, someone else can save the world,” Kon said gruffly into Cassie’s neck. “The kudos aren’t worth it.” He sniffled a bit, obviously holding back tears of his own.
“This is,” Cassie said, the knot of pain/worry/anger/hope in her heart finally loosening, even as tears of relief fell down her cheeks.
“Yeah,” Tim agreed.
Kon was back with them. And they’d never be alone again.