Fic: Pantsed, Teen Titans (1.0), Roy/Dick, PG-13, 1/1
It isn’t about who wears pants. It’s about who doesn’t.
Pantsed
It all came down to pants. Who had them, and who didn’t.
Donna didn’t wear them, but she was a girl. She could get away with showing that much leg on a beach (though really only because her costume did cover more than Wonder Woman’s; there were still a lot of old-fashioned grannies out there who thought she dressed like a slut).
Wally was the only guy on the team who wore pants. Then again, even with his anti-friction aura, he’d probably get second-burn degrees on his legs if he didn’t. He also couldn’t stand still for longer than thirty-five seconds (Robin had timed him). Garth didn’t wear pants, but that almost didn’t matter. He was rarely ever around the Tower during their off hours, because he needed to breathe water. He spent so much time in the water, it only made sense for him to wear a swimsuit.
So it was left to Dick and Roy to commiserate over their awful uniforms. Roy knew that Dick had designed his himself, but he thought the guy deserved to kvetch a bit because Batman hadn’t stopped him.
That was nearly as bad as Ollie dressing him up like a cracked up cross between Ronald McDonald and a go-go dancer.
So, yeah, neither of them wore pants. Neither of them much liked being single out in such a way, either. And they ended up spending their free time together more often than not. Diana didn’t like leaving Donna ‘alone with the boys.’ Wally only rarely managed to hold a conversation without flitting off every other word. Garth sometimes stuck around after battles if they hung out around the pool or the beach, but…
And of course Roy and Dick were the only non-powered members of the team. (Though the lack of powers didn’t bother them nearly as much as the lack of pants.) All of those things made the teens different from each other. It didn’t mean they weren’t friends, or that they didn’t like each other, but they did interact differently.
But really, when it came down to it? It was about pants. Not who had what powers or who could act their age or who was a guy or who wasn’t. It was about pants. Clothes made the man - or boy, as the case might be - and trying to fight bad guys while wearing short shorts or a dress-like tunic? Not manly.
Also, the lack of pants could be distracting. Not their own lack of pants, but…each other’s. Simply put, Roy’s aim didn’t waver because his own legs were bare, and Dick’s knees didn’t shake when he flipped because he was wearing shorts.
When Roy caught sight of Dick or vice versa, however… Well, not only were they hormonal teens, but they were also horny teens. And showing that much leg really revved their engines.
At least Roy’s costume was quick to get into and out of. Dick’s, however… Roy did not want to know why Batman felt he needed to booby-trap those shorts. He just didn’t.
Their costumes were like their wearers in that one way: Roy’s was easy access, and Dick’s was harder to get into than Fort Knox. Thankfully they both knew how to navigate such obstacles - at least with each other - or they never would have managed to get naked together.
And the lack of sex would have been a crying shame. Especially once they got the pants out of the way.
It wasn’t about who wore pants. It was about who didn’t.
Pantsed
It all came down to pants. Who had them, and who didn’t.
Donna didn’t wear them, but she was a girl. She could get away with showing that much leg on a beach (though really only because her costume did cover more than Wonder Woman’s; there were still a lot of old-fashioned grannies out there who thought she dressed like a slut).
Wally was the only guy on the team who wore pants. Then again, even with his anti-friction aura, he’d probably get second-burn degrees on his legs if he didn’t. He also couldn’t stand still for longer than thirty-five seconds (Robin had timed him). Garth didn’t wear pants, but that almost didn’t matter. He was rarely ever around the Tower during their off hours, because he needed to breathe water. He spent so much time in the water, it only made sense for him to wear a swimsuit.
So it was left to Dick and Roy to commiserate over their awful uniforms. Roy knew that Dick had designed his himself, but he thought the guy deserved to kvetch a bit because Batman hadn’t stopped him.
That was nearly as bad as Ollie dressing him up like a cracked up cross between Ronald McDonald and a go-go dancer.
So, yeah, neither of them wore pants. Neither of them much liked being single out in such a way, either. And they ended up spending their free time together more often than not. Diana didn’t like leaving Donna ‘alone with the boys.’ Wally only rarely managed to hold a conversation without flitting off every other word. Garth sometimes stuck around after battles if they hung out around the pool or the beach, but…
And of course Roy and Dick were the only non-powered members of the team. (Though the lack of powers didn’t bother them nearly as much as the lack of pants.) All of those things made the teens different from each other. It didn’t mean they weren’t friends, or that they didn’t like each other, but they did interact differently.
But really, when it came down to it? It was about pants. Not who had what powers or who could act their age or who was a guy or who wasn’t. It was about pants. Clothes made the man - or boy, as the case might be - and trying to fight bad guys while wearing short shorts or a dress-like tunic? Not manly.
Also, the lack of pants could be distracting. Not their own lack of pants, but…each other’s. Simply put, Roy’s aim didn’t waver because his own legs were bare, and Dick’s knees didn’t shake when he flipped because he was wearing shorts.
When Roy caught sight of Dick or vice versa, however… Well, not only were they hormonal teens, but they were also horny teens. And showing that much leg really revved their engines.
At least Roy’s costume was quick to get into and out of. Dick’s, however… Roy did not want to know why Batman felt he needed to booby-trap those shorts. He just didn’t.
Their costumes were like their wearers in that one way: Roy’s was easy access, and Dick’s was harder to get into than Fort Knox. Thankfully they both knew how to navigate such obstacles - at least with each other - or they never would have managed to get naked together.
And the lack of sex would have been a crying shame. Especially once they got the pants out of the way.
It wasn’t about who wore pants. It was about who didn’t.