FIC: Sweet Sixteen 2/? (Gintama)
The next morning, Gintoki awoke with a distinct feeling of dread settling heavy in his stomach. Doing his best to ignore it, he pushed himself off of his futon and headed for his desk, where he had left a half-drunk carton of strawberry milk the night before (nothing like something sweet to ease rattled nerves, regardless of how bad his doctor said it was that refined carbohydrates put him straight to sleep). Sniffing it suspiciously, he decided it was probably a good idea to just throw it out.
He found Kagura upon reaching the kitchen, where he had planned to pour the remaining milk down sink before tossing the carton in the garbage (he had learnt this method the hard way, after discovering that strawberry milk had a tendency to spoil in the trash, and then drip all over your clothes when you tried to dispose of said trash). She was humming to herself, Sadaharu seated next to her, as she boiled rice for breakfast, and Gintoki seriously considered backing out of the room before she noticed him. This plan was short-lived, however, because Sadaharu ‘yiffed’ loudly, alerting Kagura that he had arrived.
“Morning, Gin-chan,” she said a little too cheerfully as she turned around. She had a big grin on her face. Gintoki was instantly wary.
“Good morning,” he replied.
“I made some rice,” she said, as if it wasn’t obvious. “We can eat it together.”
Gintoki eyed the pot. “I think I’ll make my own, thanks.”
She turned around again, this time to give him a pointed look. “Come on-you think I’ve spiked it with Viagra, or something?” She sounded incredulous, which told Gintoki that she had at least considered it as an option. He was suddenly very glad that he hadn’t drunk the rest of the strawberry milk in his hand, and he promptly poured it into the sink. It was satisfying to watch the swirl of artificial pink as it went down the drain.
After he saw the last of the milk slosh its way to the sewer (and, thankfully, far away from his stomach), Gintoki walked over to the fridge, only to find that it was near-empty aside from four eggs and a rather unappetizing ‘gift’ from Otae, which was either an omelet or okinomiyaki (and quite possibly neither).
“This is the last of the rice, by the way,” Kagura informed him, and although he couldn’t see her face, he could just hear the smug smile that was undoubtedly stretched across it. She scratched behind Sadaharu’s ears, and the giant dog gave a ‘yiff’ of appreciation.
As he closed the fridge, Gintoki admitted defeat (if only to himself), and prayed that Shinpachi would hurry the hell up.
-
The rice was undercooked and gritty, and Gintoki made a point of complaining loudly about it. Whatever mood Kagura was in seemed to be persistent, however, and she happily ignored him as she cracked an egg into her bowl, going about her mealtime routine of inhaling her food. Unsure of how exactly to approach further conversation without it turning to a topic that he really, really wanted to avoid, Gintoki took extra care to chew as slowly as humanly possible. Sadaharu, picking up on the tension, left for Gintoki’s bedroom.
Shinpachi showed up just as the silence was becoming unbearably awkward.
“Good morning,” he greeted.
The sound of chewing was his only reply.
“Um…did something happen that nobody is telling me about?” he asked, because it certainly wouldn’t have been the first time.
“Nope,” said Gintoki, after finally allowing himself to swallow the mouthful of rice that he had been chewing for the past five minutes. “I don’t have any idea why you’d get that impression.”
Shinpachi looked back and forth between his two friends, both of whom were a little too occupied with their meals.
“…Sure,” he said, sitting down and, with some trepidation, serving himself a helping of rice.
Kagura was gazing thoughtfully into her empty bowl when she finally decided to speak up. “Ne, Shinpachi?”
“Hmm?” replied Shinpachi, through a mouthful of rice.
Gintoki felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.
“If I asked you to fuck me, would you do it?”
Shinpachi sprayed the table with half-eaten goo. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” he shouted, voice abnormally high, and gave Kagura a wide-eyed look of disbelief.
Gintoki put his head in his hands and groaned.
“I said: ‘If I asked you to fuck me, would you do it?’”
“NO!” exclaimed Shinpachi, horrified, as he scrambled away from the table like it had some kind of contagious disease.
Kagura’s voice was eerily calm as she asked, “Why not?” She finally looked up, and her face betrayed what her voice had effectively concealed; her bottom lip was trembling, and her eyes were misting over. “Am I fat, or something? Am-” she swallowed, “-am I ugly?”
Gintoki had finally reached the limit of his patience. He slammed his hands down on the table, causing his bowl to topple over and the rice still inside of it to pour out. “You idiot!” he yelled. “When did I ever say that you were ugly?”
“…What?” asked Shinpachi.
“You may as well have!” yelled Kagura, tears running down flushed cheeks. “Why else would you be so repulsed by the thought of touching me?”
“…What?” asked Shinpachi.
“Did you even listen to a word of what I was saying? It had nothing to do with repulsion and everything to do with you being an impulsive little brat who doesn’t have the first clue about what she wants!”
Shinpachi found himself looking back and forth between them once more, their words taking far too long to register in his brain. He took in Kagura’s blushing, tear-stained face, Gintoki’s look of frustrated anger, and, suddenly, everything clicked together. He felt something like panic clawing uncomfortably in his abdomen.
“You mean to tell me,” Shinpachi began, not trusting himself to speak louder than a whisper, “that Kagura-chan tried to-”
“Yes!” shouted Gintoki.
“But you didn’t-”
“No!” shouted Kagura, bursting into full-blown sobs.
Shinpachi took a moment to survey the scene before him, and felt the panic grow. “I…” he said. “I think I’m gonna go.” And then he ran out of the Yozoruha as fast as he possibly could.
Gintoki watched him leave, and felt his own panic increasing to near dangerous levels. He was tempted to follow, but he couldn’t just leave Kagura on her own while she was crying, because, however stupid the cause of her misery was, she was genuinely miserable.
He took a deep breath to try and calm himself down. “Listen,” he said. “I know it may seem like this is something really important right now, but in a few days you’ll look back and be glad that nothing happened.”
“Do you honestly believe that?” asked Kagura from between her knees. Her sobbing had stopped. “You think that this is something that just started yesterday?” She looked up, the whites of her eyes stained red from crying. “Are you really that much of an idiot?”
“What do you mean?” asked Gintoki, not really wanting to know.
“I’ve always…ever since…” She rested her head between her knees once more. “I just couldn’t take it anymore, Gin-chan. Do you think that I’m lying when I say that it hurts?”
Gintoki scratched his cheek, not knowing what to say.
“…Do you know what I did last night, after I went to bed?”
He had made a vested effort not to think about that very question. Not when he had taken a long, cold shower. Not when he had gorged himself on strawberry milk. And certainly not when he had forced himself to go to sleep.
“I touched myself, just like you saw yesterday.” She sighed. “But it didn’t help; not even a little bit.”
Gintoki tried to ignore the way that his blood rushed downwards at those words. Summoning up what was left of his courage, he said, “Just…tell me how long this has been going on.”
Kagura looked him straight in the eye. “A year,” she said. “Maybe longer.”
Gintoki slapped his forehead, although it was a gesture of frustration more than anything else. His resolve was quickly dwindling, because he knew that Kagura was telling him the truth. It would have been easier, so much easier, if she had just been lying.
Kagura was looking at him with so much longing, and it made a lump form in his throat. He should have realized it sooner. Damn, he thought. I really am an idiot.
“Fine,” he said, covering his eyes with his hand. “Fine. If you swear that you’re not going to regret it, I’ll…I’ll do it with you.”
He removed his hand to see what her reaction was, but all he caught was a blur as he was bowled over. A tongue found its way into his mouth.
This time, he kissed back.
But not for long.
“Wait,” he said, pulling away. Kagura began to nibble on his earlobe. “Wait,” he said again, as she began to kiss down his jaw. Becoming fed up, he stilled her head with both of his hands, tilting her chin so that he could look her in the eye. “We are going to do this, but not now.”
She wiggled her hips against his, and he fought hard to suppress a moan. “When?” she asked, breathing heavily.
“Tonight,” he said. “Just give me until tonight, okay?”
“Why?”
“Because the last thing you need is to get pregnant.” It wasn’t the only reason, but it was the only one that he knew she would accept. He wasn’t going to tell her that it just felt wrong to do the nasty ten minutes after Shinpachi had freaked out at the very thought of it and run away (not to mention that Sadaharu was in Gintoki’s bedroom, and it would be downright weird to do anything, knowing that the sentient animal could hear them).
But she was apparently satisfied with his response. “Alright,” she said, and pushed herself up using Gintoki’s chest, knocking some of the wind out of him. “Tonight, Gin-chan. You promise?”
“I promise.”
Kagura gave him a smile that somehow managed to be both shy and seductive at the same time. She left the Yozoruha with a skip in her step.
Gintoki wasn’t sure whether he was excited or terrified.