5 times Merlin fell even deeper in love and 1 time he learned he was not the only one.
Author: amarie_authiel
Title: 5 times Merlin fell even deeper in love and 1 time he learned he was not the only one. Part 1. Smile, though your heart is aching.
Rating: R
Pairing/s: Arthur/Gwaine, Merlin/Percival
Character/s: Merlin, Percival, mentions: Arthur, Gwaine, Hunith.
Summary: 5 times Merlin fell even deeper in love and 1 time he learned he was not the only one. Part 1: After his father's funeral, the only thing that makes Merlin feel better is making Percival laugh.
Warnings: Grief, some dark(ish) humour
Word Count: ~980
Prompt:#245 Enough.
Author's Notes: (This is a bit rough around the edges, but it will do.)
Follow up to Four beddings and a funeral
Part 1. Smile though your heart is aching
Merlin and his mother Hunith returned to Bali Noor's grave the day after the funeral. They carried plants and everything his mother had decided they needed to bring. The crowd from yesterday was gone, the unexpected media interest had been fed. The grave was covered up and ready to be left alone or cared for, depending on who would come. The stone had been placed, flowers from the funeral was placed carefully around it.
Hunith made sure all her flowers were right where she wanted them. She patted her hand around them while talking gently down to the damp soil and the man in the coffin beneath. A punch of guilt hit Merlin. Here he stood feeling sorry for himself, moping about Percival and how unlikely he was to become more than a friend. And there his mother sat, having lost both her lover and her friend in one go. Perhaps she had hoped he would slow down some day and maybe settle down a bit. But not like this. He swallowed and sat down beside her. He took her hand and leaned towards her, remembering how they would sit together in their garden back home many years ago. He reached out and pointed towards the plants she had so carefully chosen. He named them all and said when they would be likely to bloom, like she had taught him back then. Early bloomers, late bloomers and evergreens. There would always be something alive and vibrant here, just like the man she loved.
They spent a few days making sure everything was in order. But he had to return to college, he couldn't afford to miss too many classes. Merlin had expected the awkwardness of people not knowing what to say or fumbling when trying to bring their condolences. But in addition to that the news had spread of who his father had been. Merlin was now a sort of mini-celebrity that no one knew how to approach. He hoped it would pass. Merlin couldn't even bare to look at pictures right now, talking to well-meaning fans about the life and death of his father wasn't top of his list of things to do.
Returning also meant finding out that he had yet another thing to be grateful to Arthur for. Not only had he made sure Merlin's friends would be able to attend the funeral. Arthur was also secretly collecting newspapers and printing out online obituaries and other things he thought Merlin might appreciate later. All Merlin had to do was pretend he didn't know about it, or mention it at his own time. Arthur could have chosen a bit more subtle accomplice than Gwaine, but in a way it was nice seeing those two being oddly domestic together while failing at secrecy.
Tagging along to 'the Knight's Tavern' wasn't hard though. That was where Merlin wanted to be; sitting next to Percival, surveying the guests and chatting when they could. Same old, yet brand new Percy. There was no way Merlin could explain away the epiphany at the funeral as some grief-related temporarily insanity. Merlin was to be the sad fool who fell in love with his best friend, while said friend sent sad looks towards their other friend Gwaine. What a mess. At least they were alive.
...
“Do you think they'll last?”
The first rush of people had been dealt with. Percy's question was carefully voiced to not give anything away. Merlin sighed as he followed Percy's gaze towards Arthur and Gwaine snogging shamelessly by the bar.
“Honestly?”
Percival hummed in reply. At least Merlin could be honest about this, if not completely honest about other things.
“Honestly... I think they are made for each other. They are very similar; unfairly good-looking, egos the size of planets, loud, an obscene amount of self confidence with just enough humanity in them to keep you from strangling them...”
Percival chuckled, making Merlin's heart skip a beat and his thoughts loose track. An very inconvenient blush made Merlin's cheeks heat up. Still he couldn't help but look up and drink in the sight and sound of the cheery Percy-bear and he couldn't help the smile it brought to his face. He bit his lip and looked away, still smiling.
“Murder fantasies. Merlin, you surprise me.” Percy teased, giving his friend a little nudge with the elbow.
Merlin shrugged, still smiling. “Oh, it comes natural when you live with Arthur, even you would might have had to count to ten once in a while. But then he had to go and become nice. It really takes the joy out of it. And Gwaine too.”
“How so?”
Percy easily tuned into the more serious note underneath the jokes. Merlin could tell from the way Percy's voice and smile softens. How was this guy even real?
“They collect stuff about the funeral and such for me, so I don't have to. He was my father, but he was never around and now he's everybody's hero. I can't deal with that bit now.”
Grief, guilt and bitterness makes his eyes flood over. He lets the tears roll silently down his cheeks before he wipes them away with the sleeve of his shirt. Fighting them won't help, but he ducks his head down so no-one else will know.
“That's very nice of them. The bastards.” Percy answers gently, adding a little life-line at the end.
“Yeah, utter bastards...” Merlin sniffles and puts his brave face back on. “Or I could be wrong, and they have to put down newspapers because Gwaine isn't housebroken yet, but-”
Merlin is cut off as Percival throws his head back and laughs out loud, turning heads all around them. Merlin basks in the warmth of Percival's deep, roaring laughter. It was good to be alive and perhaps this would be enough.
Part 2: Cat man to the rescue
The cheery tune of 'Bare necessities' rang out loud, tearing Merlin from his sleep. Percy's ringtone. Arthur made some very angry but, luckily, unintelligible noises from his side of the room.
“E'oh?” Merlin croaked into the phone.
“She's having kittens!” Percy's voice was clearly agitated.
Merlin groaned and tried to focus on the numbers on his clock radio. He'd been asleep for 10 minutes or so. Great.
“Who's having kittens? What did you do?”
“In the laundry!”
Merlin heart clenched painfully. There was a thought he hadn't been able to consider yet.
“You did who in the laundry?”
“What? There's kittens in my laundry, Merlin. Outside. What if they fall down? What do I do?”
Arthur's complaints were now getting very clear and detailed.
“I don't... You want me to come over? Arthur's being whiny, he's got a test tomorrow and - Yeah, I'll be there soon. Bye.”
Merlin put his phone down with a sigh. He left his warm and inviting bed and started searching for something to wear using his phone as a torch. He found some socks. The jeans rode a bit low on his hips, but he couldn't be bothered to find a belt. He fumbled his way to a hoodie and pulled it on. Arthur groaned from his bed in protest to the mucking about. It briefly reminded Merlin of other times Arthur had groaned and moaned for very other reasons. He killed that memory quickly. Stupid sleepy brain. Kittens. Why had Percy called him about kittens? Percy never mentioned he had a cat.
The walk to Percival's flat helped clear his head a little bit. He was still far from bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when he arrived, but he smiled when Percy opened the door and he hung up his jacket like a good house guest.
“I..uh.. think you hoodie's inside out, Merls.”
“Oh. Sorry. Was in my boxers when you called, I just threw something on in the dark.”
At least it hadn't been too obvious for the few people he had met on the street, but in normal light and without a jacket he did appear rather foolish. Merlin pulled the hoodie over his head to turn it the right side out. He fumbled a bit with one sleeve, internally cursing his clumsy ways, before he put the hoodie back on. At least his socks were nearly a match. One brown and one black.
He ran his fingers through his hair despite knowing it was useless, he looked like something the cat dragged in regardless. Which brought him back to the reason he was there. Percival stood there and seemed stunned, probably wondering what possessed him to think that Merlin could be of any help.
“Kittens, or something like that?” Merlin gently prompted, hoping Percy would stop gaping and get to the point.
“Yes!” Percy snapped out of it, and moved towards the window in the living room, signaling Merlin to follow him.
“There.” Percival whispered as he peered through his curtains like a snooping neighbour spying on people passing by. Then he made room for Merlin so he could do the same. Outside on the fire escape, underneath a makeshift clothesline, lay a black and white cat curled up on a pile of fabric.
“That's not a kitten.” Merlin whispered mostly for Percival's sake, he doubted the cat cared.
“Yeah, no, that's the mom. There's at least three of them. All born today I think.”
Merlin squinted a bit, trying to make them out. It was an awfully bad place to raise a litter, three stories up and steel grating everywhere.
“Percival,” Merlin said in a serious voice. “Have you been feeding strays?”
“Just the one.” Percival sounded very defensive. Merlin didn't have the heart to give him any lessons. He had done his share of that too and gotten quite a few bruises and bites from in his days. But Hunith had only scolded him for being careless, never for being kind.
“Sure she doesn't belong to anyone?”
“Don't think so, I hung up posters once.”
Merlin felt a bit like crying. Of course Percy would keep feeding a scruffy looking cat and make posters. He just kept turning more and more wonderful while Merlin can't even dress himself properly. Well, he wasn't called here to promote himself as boyfriend material anyway. He was just the most likely candidate to know something about cats. Best to focus on that.
“I assume you mean to keep them.” Merlin didn't even pause to ask for confirmation. “So we have to get them inside. Mom first. If we start messing with the little ones she might run away, thinking they are gone for good.”
Percival nodded and dutifully followed Merlin's suggestions. An frustrating hour later the mom had been cornered into the kitchen area with Merlin acting as a barrier, while Percival brought in the tiny kittens and their little nest.
The mother crept by the walls nearly flattening her body to the floor. The boys stayed back, and eventually she found her kittens. She settled into their new bed to care for them and stared fiercely out into her new home.
Percival and Merlin let out a sigh of relief.
“I guess I'll be tiptoeing around for some time now.” Percival whispered.
Merlin covered a yawn with his hand before replying. “Maybe, or maybe she'll get used to you. In any case you have a chance of making sure the kittens are healthy and socialised.”
Percy hummed in reply.
An awkward silence settled.
“I should get back now. Can still get some hours of sleep before I have to get up again.”
“Yeah, I should get a toilet box ready and some water.” Percival said. “I got some stuff from earlier. I tried to get her in last summer, but she wasn't having it... Thank you. Really.”
"Any time."
Merlin thought Percy looked a bit mournful as he closed the door, but that was probably just wishful thinking on Merlin's behalf.
Part 3: A queer eye for the gay guy
“Nononono, you cannot go to your prom with that. You will wear your dark jeans and your suit jacket as a blazer. And not that tie. Never that tie. I'll lend you one of mine, cause I'm just that good of a friend. Is this how it feels to have kids, I wonder? My little Merlin is getting laaaaaid tonight!”
“...said no father in history ever.”
Arthur stuck his tongue out at Merlin's lack of enthusiasm. Merlin tried one last time to make his roommate face the facts.
“It's not my prom, Arthur. It's a prom. And it's not a date. We're just the owner's reps to make sure things don't get out of hand.”
Merlin had his suit and shoes at campus because he had been too stupid to make sure his mom took them home with her. Arthur had knowingly and on purpose filled his wardrobe with various blazers and dress up clothes, complete with a weird little collectors box for ties and bow-ties.
“Percival asked you to the pro-om!” Arthur sings, while holding ties in various shades up to Merlin's face, settling for a blue which he said brought out Merlin's eyes rather than the red which matched Merlin's embarrassed face.
Merlin drew his breath, summoned all his patience and let Arthur embrace his inner gay fashionista. He was most of all reminded of all the times his mother dressed him when he was a little boy. But he was to be out in public and pretend to be a proper grownup after all, he might as well look his best. Not like the hoodie incident. Merlin cringed at the thought.
It really wasn't a date, even if Merlin would have liked it to be. It still made Merlin's heart skip a beat, because it was a paid assignment and Percy had recommended him for the job. “Percival asked for you,” Owain, the owner and manager of 'The Knight's Tavern' had said on the phone. “Said you'd be the best man for the job.” There might even be more work for Merlin if he did well.
“There we go!” Arthur beamed, looking both proud and expectant at once. Merlin pocketed his worries and beamed back at him. Arthur only wanted Merlin to be happy, and what was there to be mopey about, really? Merlin loved spending time with Percy. He loved having a little bubble of two-some companionship amidst all the people coming and going. Conversations that took hours as they would be constantly broken off and resumed. He enjoyed discussing people and behaviour, remembering previous troublemakers and trying to figure out who might cause trouble next. And he was getting paid to do this, it was just a bit too good to be true.
“Thank you, Arthur.”
“You're very welcome!” Arthur smiled warmly. “Now, the hair!”
Merlin eyes widened.
“Oh God, no.”
“Oh God ,YES!”
He whined and complained, but let Arthur drag him along.
Part 4: An unexpected promotion.
Merlin let out a low whistle as he entered The Knight's Tavern. The transformation from scarcely lit student watering hole to prom night wonderland was almost complete. Banners and decorations with slogans, school name and the event's Instagram hashtag hung everywhere you could see. People buzzed too and from, setting up the welcome drinks and the photo area, making horrible noises as they set up the speakers and sound equipment, and other necessary tasks.
Merlin spotted Percy standing further in, discussing something with Owain, owner of The Tavern. Merlin had to take a pause to savour the moment, to watch Percy in a smart, grey suit and practically radiating confidence and professionalism. He thought he had been mentally prepared for this sight, but apparently that was not the case. Percy's usual sleeveless appearance was delicious enough, so how was he even hotter when all covered up? How this could be allowed in this delicate, teen appropriate setting was beyond Merlin's comprehension.
Percy himself seemed oblivious to being a potential fire risk. Merlin made himself look away and hastily blinked the hearts from his eyes before he made his presence known.
Percy smiled wide and waved him over. He was included in the final run through of the fire protocols, the updated list of names of the responsible adults - Merlin was one of them, hah!- and general technical info about the arrangement. The Prom was being held at the Tavern for the fifth year in a row. This was Percy's third year and he knew the protocols and the dos and don'ts by heart. Perhaps that was why Owain had allowed Merlin to join the team; he couldn't mess this up even if he tried. Owain himself seemed very pleased and declared The Tavern to be in good hands. He even gave them a friendly slap on the back before he took his leave.
The place steadily filled up with young women in pretty dresses and young men in tuxedos. Some deviated from the typical look. A rebel here, a snob there. Teachers and parents were hovering and trying to keep the punch from being spiked. Percy and Merlin dutifully made their rounds to observe the area before they settled against the wall overlooking the dance floor for a while. They updated each other and shared some idle conversation before they would repeat the cycle again.
“Did you see the guys hiding bottles down their pants?” Merlin struggled to keep a straight face.
Percy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, it's a classic. Only a matter of time before they get caught trying to drink it. When they sneak-”
Percy suddenly stopped talking, frowning in the direction of the crowded dance floor. Merlin's eyes flickered too and from, he couldn't find anything there worth noting.
“What is it?”
Percy snapped out of it. His eyebrows shot up and settled a fraction too high to give a truly neutral expression. “Nothing. Though I saw someone.”
Merlin felt a twinge of unease, but if Percy said it was nothing, then it probably was nothing.
Merlin decided to move on to a different topic.
“Well, I can see someone doing a horrible attempt at dubstep. Or whatever that is supposed to be...”
Percy's warm, low chuckle rumbled.
“I see a Kanye West wannabe.”
...
It didn't take long before the bottle smugglers tried to sneak away. Percy pushed off the wall to follow them and brought along a couple of the adults who were supposed to be on watch for these things. Merlin stayed behind and tried to act like he knew what he was doing. Watching all these people reminded him of his own prom back in Ealdor. Will had eventually found a date willing to go with him. Merlin and Freya Waters had gone together as friends. She was painfully shy, but smart and funny once you got to know her.
Two girls passed by, giggling down at their phones. They glanced over their shoulders at Merlin and giggled again. Merlin was relieved when Percy came back and could distracted him with a brief update. Percy had also taken another round, which meant there was more waiting time to fill.
“No limos at my prom.” The words tumbled out of Merlin. “Mom drove us. Went with a friend of mine, we had fun though.”
Percy's business expression broke into a laugh. “I borrowed Dad's truck. We were kings!”
Then his smile faded into a distant and pinched expression. Merlin bit his lip. Perhaps he shouldn't have brought that up. He changed the topic.
“How's your little cat family doing? Bet you have a lot of new pictures to show me.”
Percival sniffed, pretending to be indifferent. “Maybe I do, maybe I don't.”
Merlin laughed.
“There's no maybe about it. You have a million.”
Percy scoffed and reached to take out his phone.
"Since you're twisting my arm..."
He swiftly scrolled through his pictures on his phone and showed them to Merlin with poorly hidden fondness. The little kittens were all a variety of black and white like their mother, still too young to have even opened their eyes.
“That's Rambo, Tarzan, Rocky and Nil- that's Nil.”
“Nil?” Merlin asked curiously.
“He looked like a Nil.”
Nil appeared to be mostly black with a dot of white on the top of the head. Merlin guessed the dot did look like a zero. Poor kitty. But Merlin knew from experience not to start arguments about names. Percy seemed almost as ready to defend the name as Merlin's mother has always been to defend Merlin's name, so he decided it was best to not say anything.
“All male then?” Merlin asked instead.
Percival shrugged. “No idea, how can you tell?”
“It's easier when they are older, I think. How's their mom?”
“She hates me. Hisses, glares, hides the kittens, won't eat if I'm in the room. I moved the litter box to the corner where she does shit... It's a mess.”
“Just wait till the little ones start exploring...”
Percy huffed. “I regret taking them in.”
“No, you don't.” Merlin said smiling.
Percy laughed like he had been taken by surprise.
“Nah, I don't.”
The small-talk continues. Merlin even eased in a hint about part time college classes and Percy did not completely reject the idea this time. Three girls wanted to take a selfie with them. A scuffle broke out on the dance floor, but it was easily settled. Merlin found he was actually enjoying himself and he almost did feel like an responsible adult.
Among the petty quarrels, spilled drinks and swishing gowns there was one person which stuck out to Merlin. He occasionally caught a dark haired guy staring intensely in Merlin's direction, and it only happened when Percy was away. Sure, others did stare a bit as well, but this guy seemed a bit under-dressed for the event and he was definitely not a part of the teacher/parent team. It seemed a bit odd, but then Merlin saw Percy talking with him, and assumed he would get some answers soon. Merlin finished his round and waited. Fifteen minutes passed and Percy had not yet returned. Twenty minutes later Merlin called Percy's phone, feeling a bit hot under the collar.
“Percy, where are you?”
“Hey, I need you to cover for me.”
“Cover for you? What's going on?”
“Nothing. You got this, Merls.”
“Percy, what the- Hello? Percy?”
Merlin blinked at the screen and the message saying call ended. What had just happened?
Some guys were smoking in the loos, again, but that was the biggest problem Merlin came across. All the meetings and preparations beforehand had paid off. Instructions and agreements were followed pretty much to the t. There was nothing for Merlin to do but watch and walk around to show that he was still here - whatever good that did. He shared a few words with some of the teachers, he helped to refill paper and soap, and he felt utterly useless. He tried to locate the creepy staring guy, but he hadn't seen him. The Instagram tag on the banners might be helpful though. Maybe the guy wouldn't be tagged with name, but if Merlin found a photo of him then at least he could ask someone. Merlin himself was rarely on Instagram or such himself, especially not since the funeral.
The spot by the wall where he had stood earlier seemed too exposed, so he found himself a corner to lurk in. The screen on Merlin's phone filled with an seemingly endless row of selfies, smiling couples, group shots and photos of people dancing. He scrolled and scrolled hoping to find something useful around the time he had noticed Creepy Stare Guy. He paused when he found a pictrue of himself and Percy. It had to have been taken while they were talking about the cats. Percy looked lovely, smiling down at his phone with a fond look. Merlin was leaning close, grinning wide. A feeling of dread washed over Merlin as he noticed one of the tags attached to it was called #Mercival. He didn't dare to check what it was about. Nothing good came out of checking such things. Maybe this is where Arthur got the idea that this prom job was a date. Arthur did had some trouble seeing when he was laughing with someone and when he was laughing at someone. No, Merlin was not clicking that tag. He did, however, save the picture on his phone. A testament to his stupidity.
He kept on scrolling, feeling even smaller and dumber than before. Several more images had him and Percy in them. Some where the selfies they had posed for and some others were snapped without Merlin knowing. At last he found Creepy at the edge of someone's photo and he stopped scrolling. He saved that image too, but playing detective had lost it's appeal. Instead he wondered if he should leave. He wouldn't truly be missed until it was time to lock the doors. He was getting paid to stick around, but so was Percy and he had left first.
He sighed and thought about Will, and them growing up together back home in Ealdor. Will would have known what to say or do. He found himself smiling and realized he had a good idea of what Will would have had to say about this. Quitting certainly wouldn't have been an option. Quitting was never an option.
Pathetically checking his watch and hoping Percy would be back soon, was not an option to be avoided either. Nearly an hours had passed before Merlin noticed the 'personnel only' slide door open and he saw Percy sneaking back in. He seemed less composed than earlier. Coming closer, Merlin could see he looked a bit ruffled. His shirt and tie were askew. A red hickey glowed from his neck. Merlin tried hard not to imagine all the things Percy might have had time to do with this unnamed “Nothing” while he was away.
He moved in to correct Percy's collar and tie. First and foremost so he didn't have to see the mark and all the truths it told. Secondly so others wouldn't see it either. Percy's catched his breath as he realized what Merlin was doing. His hand instinctively tried to move up and cover it, but Merlin was in the way. Merlin felt protectiveness surge inside him. Percy was clearly not good at this secrecy business.
"Must have been one hell of a pick up line to made you dash off in such a hurry." Merlin murmured to Percy.
Merlin adjusted the collar again, pretending to do a final adjustment when in truth he was avoiding Percy's eyes.
Percival's voice had a guilty tone, perhaps from being caught.
"He's an ex. I didn't plan this."
Merlin nodded without really believing him. He brushed some invisible lint from Percy's jacket before he moved to Percy's side, out of Percy's personal space.
"Well, you didn't miss much here. Jackobs wants to talk to you about putting the donation money in the safe. I said I'd talk to you about it. No rush though."
"It's a nice mess you have created for yourself," Merlin thought to himself. "Now you are such good friends that he trusts you to cover for his secret rendezvous."
Merlin tried to smile and act normal. Even this couldn't shake Merlin's feelings. Percy was still interested in someone else, even if that probably wasn't Gwaine anymore. And Merlin would do anything for Percy if it meant Percy was happy. There was something else nagging at Merlin too. If Percy had just been swept away from his responsibilities for a hot snog fest, with no repercussions, shouldn't he look... happy?
Part 6a: A perfectly imperfect view
Arthur was waiting for him when Merlin got back to their dorm. Arthur was grinning from ear to ear, waiting for info. Merlin made a recap of the most interesting facts, even finding he hadn't lost the ability to smile real smiles. But that wasn't that Arthur wanted to hear about.
“It was a date, right? I was right. I know Percy had a huge loooovebite on his neck. I have my sources!”
Merlin sighed. “It wasn't a date. It wasn't me.”
Arthur's face fell. In fact his whole being deflated. But Arthur's voice left no room for argument.
“His loss entirely.”
Merlin swallowed thrice before he could speak again. He hoped that hanging up his suit jacket made a plausible excuse for his silence. He folded the tie around his hand and felt the soft silk underneath his fingers before he returned it to Arthur.
“Thank you,” he said, not really talking about Arthur lending him the tie. Then he drew a deep breath and let it out, hoping to shake the sadness clinging to his bones.
“I'm gonna hit the shower and see if this stuff you two put in my hair will ever go out. Cement and glue, was it?”
Arthur shrugged as he carefully returned the tie to it's place in his wardrobe.
“T'was something with a lot of micro plastic and a terrible carbon footprint.”
“Aha! So YOU do listen to me!”
“Never!” Arthur gasps in mock shock. “That's what it said on the tin.”
Merlin chuckled softly.
Gwaine's concoction of hair products did prove fairly resilient to shampoo and water. But that is not why Merlin was crying large, silent tears of self pity in the shower.
-
Days later, Merlin still wasn't sure of what to make of the situation. Owain had been very happy with the feedback from the prom night event. The tradition would most likely continue, unless next years prom committee had other plans. People had spoken kindly of Merlin too, which did make Merlin feel a little bit more like part of the team rather than just the comic relief.
Percy himself seemed rather elusive. All of Merlin's texts went unanswered. Not that Merlin bombarded him with texts, but usually there would be at least one mindless conversation going. Not even a single cat picture came Merlin's way. The silence did made sense. If there was a boyfriend thing happening, then why would Percy care about Merlin's babbling?
He counted the pros and cons of sending yet another message. This would at least be a real topic. The college had made some changes to their part time study program, which Merlin thought would fit Percy and his situation better. He had gathered brochures and application forms for it, just in case, so he could bring it with him if Percy was interested. It was hardly urgent news though and he should get started with packing to go home for the Christmas holiday, rather than over-contemplating a text.
He made the wording very brief and to the point, and pressed 'send'. A moment later, Merlin nearly jumped out of his skin as a text came in reply. The wording was a bit unusual, but it was from Percy's number.
'Am home. Bring it here.'
Merlin gave his unpacked bag a stare before he texted back.
'Around 8?'
'K'
-
Merlin ran the first flights of stairs, then calmly walked up the last one. The memory of the sweater failure was still vivid in his mind. He didn't need to add arriving sweaty and out of breath to the list, waving a folder around. He might be the college's gay faerie unicorn, but he wasn't the Pony Express.
Merlin checked the time on his phone just to be sure. It took a little while before Percy opened the door. He looked like had jumped right out of the shower. A towel was thrown over his shoulders, his shirt was unbuttoned, he wore jeans, but no socks. It would be a great- no rather perfect - look if not for the frown on Percy's face. He was holding on to the door, Merlin got the distinct impression that Percy didn't want him to see inside.
“Hey, uh, sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone.”
“You invited me?” Merlin waved his phone and quickly checked the time to see that yes, it was past 8 and he hadn't lost his mind.
Percy opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. An arm came from behind him and curled around Percy's waist, caressing the grooves of Percy's six pack, brushing not so accidentally over the the light trail of hairs leading the way down to an area Merlin shouldn't think about. Merlin tried to look away. Another arm snaked around Percy's chest with a hand sliding underneath the open shirt. It was a strong man, nothing like Merlin. More like Gwaine, more like the type Percy liked. Percy wasn't looking at Merlin and his wandering eyes, he was staring stone faced over his shoulder, mumbling something between clenched teeth. Merlin felt like he had been kicked in the gut when he recognized the face of the man fondling Percy. Dark curls and a sugar sweet smile, but his eyes seemed ice cold as they pinned Merlin in a silent challenge.
“I invited him, Percy. I wanted to meet your little friend.”
Part 6b. Percy's stray.
Merlin’s eyebrows rose upwards in surprise. First appearances were often misleading, but Creepy Guy didn’t seem any better at second glance either.
Merlin forced a smile, meeting the man’s stare with all the neutrality he could master.
“I’m flattered you went to this trouble, really, you should have come over and said hello at the prom.”
Yeah, perhaps he could try a bit harder. He reached out his hand towards the stranger.
ldquo;I am Merlin, which I am sure you gathered from reading Percy’s texts.”
Merlin was only human after all. Creepy Guy’s eyes narrowed. He had to remove his hands from Percy’s body and move out in the hallway to grasp Merlin’s hand. Merlin counted that as a minor victory, if only for his own sanity. He paid the price in form of a bone crushing hand shake.
“Mordred,” the hand crusher said, smirking at Merlin’s attempt to not squirm. He then stepped back to the side of the front door. Percy seemed very unimpressed with the whole thing. Thankfully he had started buttoning up his shirt while Mordred’s hands were gone, taking good time in doing so. Merlin might be reading too much into it, but it seemed both the flat and Percy’s body had been closed off. Passive aggressive redressing. That's a first.
“You’ve been messing with my phone, Mo?”
Creepy Guy Mordred - Merlin was not letting go of that description yet - shrugged. “No need to be upset, babe, you still have the same key pattern you’ve had for years, I didn’t think you’d mind. Thought it would be a nice surprise. You haven’t seen him in what, days? No texts, no nothing. It’s been eating at you, haven’t it?”
Merlin had been texting. Him standing here now, with a folder nobody wanted, was proof of at least one text not arriving where it should have. Had Mordred deliberately deleted Merlin’s texts from Percy’s phone? Whatever for?
“You have no right to do that."
“We had a deal!” Mordred growled. “Now you're making me mad, throwing away this thing we had. For what?”
“Yeah, we HAD an arrangement, which you broke five fucking days after you got back. And now you're back again pretending things will be different this time around, but instead you keep info from me and message my friends, pretending to be me, pretending you're doing me a favour!”
“Friends! Yeah, right!” Mordred had dropped the innocent act now. “It's all over the internet how good friends you are. You know you belong to me. This is just a sad cry for help. Hell, he's just a skinny, faint copy of me! It's so obvious, anyone can see-”
“GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!”
Mordred wasn't the only one that jumped at the sudden burst of genuine fury from Percival. Percival ducked inside the flat and re-emerged to throw a set of shoes and a jacket at Mordred's face. Mordred seemed genuinely shocked, gasping like a fish on land before anger took over again.
“You'll regret this! You'll be back, soon, you'll see!”
He snorted at Merlin in passing, worthy of a thoroughbred, as he ran down the stairs with his things in his hands. Percy fumed, towering in the door frame.
Merlin threw worried glances between the running figure, Percy, and the neighbour peeking through an partly open door.
A doors slammed shut somewhere beneath them, and Percy simply broke. He stumbled inside and sank to the floor. Merlin glared at the neighbour who promptly closed the door. Seemed this was the type who watched rather than called the police when there was trouble. Merlin went inside quietly, closing the door behind him and making sure it was locked.
“I tried to make it work." Percy mumbled. "I thought that if he really had changed, if he was like before, it would be worth a shot.”
He didn't meet Merlin's eyes, which was just as well, Merlin didn't know how to act or where to look.
“I don't know what to say, Percy. But you can’t save all the strays.”
Percy laughed, a humourless, dry laugh. He was a miserable sight. Merlin wanted to make him smile, to see those eyes sparkle again, but what jokes or dumb story did he have that would fit now?
"I'll go make some tea."
Great, he had turned into his mom. Tea fixes everything. Sure.
A dangerous hiss made him stop in his tracks. He looked over at the angry cat, who was staring wild eyed and lethal at him. He must have caught her off guard. He huffed in her direction and made a point out of staying out of her way. She sure used a lot of energy to keep the humans of the house away from her. From her perspective it must seem like her continuous effort to present herself as a furry ball of death and mayhem was what was making the humans behave and kept her kittens alive. She could have had a comfy life. She could be purring her days away, curled up on the sofa with Percy.
While Merlin was filling the kettle and overthinking the reasons the cat had to be hostile, Percy silently came in and joined him. Merlin's train of thought went on. You didn’t need to use this much energy to chase people away unless they actually were a threat. There wasn’t any need to stand your ground and mark your territory unless you thought someone might take it from you. If your territory was likely to forget that it belonged to you, and referred to you as “just an ex” even if you had just left a large land claim on it. Not it, Merlin's brain amended. Him. Claiming Percy.
Part 6c. What did I miss?
Merlin's brain worked at top speed, churning Mordred's words and tone of voice over and over. He doesn't dare trust the conclusion he keeps arriving at, there is too much hope attatched.
He heard Percy behind him, the sound of cupboard doors opening and closing, while Merlin stared a hole in the tea kettle.
“Not sure that'll make it boil quicker.” Percy said cautiously. The sound of his voice clears Merlin's head, the familiar warmth spreads through him and he can't help smiling. He knowns he's being an idiot. Percy just kicked out his... whatever Mordred was or had been. Something important is happening here and Merlin needs to be here for Percy no matter what it is.
“It will.” Merlin declared solemly. Then he throws a sideways glance at Percy. “Eventually.”
Perc's amused huff is a victory, there's a brief smile on his lips as he made his way to the sofa. Merlin stayed put, only moving a few steps to watch as Percival set the cups on the coffe table and cleared the sofa. A guest bed lazily balled up, was swiftly removed and deposited into the bathroom. Mordred had stayed here. But slept there.
The kettle whistled for Merlin's attention. Merlin doubles back to get it, steeling himself, hopind he would be ready to face
whatever’s awaiting. Percival was sitting on the sofa, hands in his lap, while Merlin filled the cups. Merlin joined him on the sofa. He wanted to curl up close. Instead he wrapped his long fingers around the steaming cup of tea, curls one leg under himself, placing himself partly facing Percy.
“He wasn't always like that.” Percy starts.
“No, that's not true.I'm the one who changed. I stopped waiting. I've always taken him back. We have all this history. I thought maybe... He's always been a bit two faced. God, I didn't think he'd stoop this low. And my phone... That never used to happen before. That I know of...”
Merlin knew he had to think of something to say.
“You didn't miss much from me. Hardly worth the effort of deleting. A lolcat. Some college stuff. And I sent a picture of Arthur's bins. I think he's done with the scrap book he's making for me, cause he's stopped recycling. He only recycles when he's got something to hide.”
Percy chuckled, then went silent again. Merlin sipped his tea, cast his eyes around the flat. A sniffle could be heard. The second sniffle made Merlin turn his head. Perhaps it was time to bring out the big guns.
The mother cat hissed as Merlin approache and reluctantly left the box and her kittens. The little one had just recently opened their eyes. Too young to go exploring, they remained in a litte snugg pile, miauing faintly. He picked up two and carried them carefully over to Percy. He handed them to him.
“Here, should cheer you up. This is Rambo, isn't it? And Zero. Hello Zero.”
Percy smiled fondly at the kittens, and up at Merlin.
“Not Zero.”
“Nil. Sorry, but close enough?”
“No, it's... Nilrem. He reminds me of you, only... in reverse.”
Percy seemed embarrassed, which confused Merlin even more. Merlin gently picked up the cat to take a better look. Small, blue eyes peered at him. Tiny paws stretched out. It's fur was all black all over with a white circle at the top of the head. He looked at the kitten from all directions. He had no idea what Percival meant.
Merlin held the little cat in the palm of his hand and gently lifted the little tail up. He then perked his lips to a tight round circle and aimed both his face and the little cat bum towards Percival and asked expecantly:
“Wike diss?”
Part 6d. Merlin and the ghosts of Percy's past.
Percy looked bewildered from the kitten to Merlin's pursed lips and back again. Merlin struggled to keep from laughing as Percy threw his head back, rolled his eyes towards to the ceiling and muttered something unintelligible under his breath. A strong arm tips Merlin sideways on the sofa and held him there for a short while before pulling him back up.
Merlin laughed and let himself roll with it like a roly-poly toy. 'Nilrem' the kitten remained safe in Merlin's hands, tucked close to Merlin's neck. When he's once again sitting upright and slightly - just slightly- closer, Percival spoke, still apparently lamenting to the skies.
“You're not a cat's bottom, Merls!”
Merlin did perk up a little about that. “Glad to hear that, but then what?”
He lifted the little kitten and took another look before he continued.
“It's a cute little kittycat.”
Percival huffed.
“It's not that complicated. He's got mad hair like you, 's all. Makes me smile, like you do.”
“Oh!” Merlin supposed that small, cute and chubby, with black fur all over and a white dot on the head was that opposite of awfully pale, tall, gangly, with a slab of unruly dark hair on top. He might have commented more on the subject, except that Percival seemed very focused on the kitten lounging on his broad chest.
Time passed without anyone speaking. 'Nilrem' the little kitten squirmed a bit, nosing around and crying weakly. Merlin's neck didn't smell like mom or the siblings and there certainly wasn't any milk to be found. Merlin admitted defeat and let the kitten join his brother - or her sister, this was yet to be figured out - on Percy's chest, hoping they would settle down together there. The kittens fitted nicely in Percival's hand. It seemed to work, both kittens seemed to feel safer. Merlin couldn't blame them. He'd rather be snuggled on top of Percy too. Funny how he could feel so lonely when Percival was just inches away. He stretched his hand out and petted the kittens on the head with one finger. Percival's eyes flickered briefly towards him, almost startled. Merlin's breath hitched as he realized how close they were at that moment, how easy it would be to lean in and steal a kiss. He turned away, worried he might do just that. His eyes fled across Percival's body instead of immediately finding something safer to stare at, taking in how he was slouched on the sofa. He could easily flip himself over and straddle him, or maybe even better; claim the open space between his legs as his. So Merlin did the only honourable thing he could think of; He fled to the kitchen. He fumbled through the cabinets for a drinking glass, drank deeply and let the sink run for much longer than necessary. It was as close to a cold shower as he could get now. He reminded himself of what the guys Percival's liked looked like. Guys like Gwaine, with his perfect looking everything. Mordred, while lacking in personality and apparently also sanity, clearly took his gym sessions serious. Mordred, who's fury refused to leave Merlin's memory and probably still echoed in Percival's mind too. And Merlin... Merlin was a cat.
Part 6e. Mercival.
With a sigh, Merlin leaned his back against the kitchen counter. He felt he was a lousy friend for having all these conflicting thoughts. His bags were packed for the holiday vacation and the clock on the wall counted mercilessly towards the last train home for the evening. He didn't want to leave without knowing Percival would be alright.
As if to highlight how poorly Merlin was doing as a comforting friend, it was Percival who came to him and asked him if he was alright. He had put the kittens away, Merlin presumed they were back with their overprotective mother. Percival fidgeted a bit with his hands as if he didn't quite know what to do with them now. Merlin could think of many uses, but none that should be voiced out loud.
“Shouldn't that be my line?” Merlin replied with a week smile, avoiding the question.
Percival shrugged.
“You are allowed to be sad, you know,” Merlin said as the silence stretched, “Even if I throw kittens at you to make you smile. You don't mind when I'm sad.”
“You've got good reason. I don't.”
Percival's voice seemed void of emotion. Merlin twisted his head and looked up at Percival.
“He matters to you.”
“He doesn't.”
“But he did.”
“Not anymore.”
“But-”
“Steroids, OK?!” Percy cried out and threw his arms in the air, making Merlin jump at the sudden outburst.
“We thought we were kings, but we were fucking idiots.”
Percival started pacing aand avoided eye contact, which was just as well because Merlin was stunned stupid. He had only meant to say that it was OK to be sad about a breakup. Percy and drugs just didn't add up, even with Mordred in the mix.
“This isn't roid rage, it's not.” Percival said, as if he felt he had to clarify that for some reason. “I quit long time ago... It never got a hold of me.”
Merlin nearly laughed at the absurdity of the first statement and nearly cried at the last. At last Percy looked at him, his eyes pleading to be believed and wild horses couldn't keep Merlin away. Merlin invaded his personal space and took those empty hands in his.
“I believe you, Perce, of course I believe you. I'm sorry I pushed you. I didn't mean to summon all your ghosts.”
Percy pulled a face, more like a grimace, but he didn't say anything. So Merlin pushed further, worried he'll never be this close again.
“So when you said Mordred 'went away', you meant...”
Percival draws his breath, resigned.
“Doing time. Rehab. Stuff like that. Just small stuff, but... It keeps adding up.”
Merlin nods.
“He is... even if he had been truthful this time, he's nothing but a reminder of all the things I don't want anymore, all the things I want to put behind me.”
Then another thought came to mind.
“Is this why you don't want to go home for Christmas? You're guilty by association.”
Percival sighed.
“I thought college would be my chance to move away and leave it behind me, but... here I am.”
Merlin thought briefly of another blond who had said something similar.
“There's a lot of that going around I hear... But you've got a nice flat, a job, decent friends -”
“I quit studying and work as a bouncer.” Percival interrupted surly.
“Oh come on, you're not that old cliche. You are Owain's golden boy. I bet he's hoping you'll take over the Tavern eventually.”
That did lure a small smile from Percival.
“So what kind of cliche am I then?” His eyes flickered to meet Merlin's. Their fingers had folded together and butterflies the size of bats were causing havoc on Merlin's insides.
“You are the big, strong man with the gentle heart. Who calls me in the middle of the night to save kittens.” Merlin couldn't help the fondness in his voice. He could feel Percival's breath when he spoke.
“And you came over in the dead of night to help me. And you stripped right there in my hallway.”
Again he looked to the ceiling as if he's looking for strength from above.
“You looked like sex,” He tells the ceiling. “You looked like lazy morning the day after roll over in bed and do it all again sex.” His head dipped down again. Merlin is feeling feverish, but holds his gaze. “And you had no idea,” Percival continues. “You just turned my world upside down and you had no idea.”
“Then Mordred shows up and I realize he's all wrong. I let him stay, thought I owed him that much. But it was nothing but argument and accusations. Then he had the audacity to compare himself to you...”
Merlin groaned.
“When he had his hands all over you... I wanted to say you were mine. I wanted to tear him to pieces. I would have been dead in two seconds, but it would have been worth it.”
Percival growled and then they are all hungry mouths and hands. Any thoughts about cats, trains and small town gossip vanished as Merlin excitedly let himself be mauled by his Percy-bear. There would be more talking later, and an awkward phone call to Merlin's mum about why he failed to arrive as expected. Arthur would be unbearably smug, but Merlin would have his Percy-bear and maybe, in the future, there would be a house with a porch, a yard and maybe even some grand children.
Epilgue/Bonus: A good night
There's a perfectly shaped peak hole in Percival's curtains. A small fold curves neatly where the two curtains meet to cover the window. It sits at just the right height, completely inconspicuous, providing a view of the fire escape. Out there, a pile of cloth, and what used to be Percival's favourite shirt, lies underneath a make shift clothes line. A metal bowl containing some leftovers from today's dinner is tucked towards the wall. Percival can observe it all, and not a movement can be seen from the outside.
Percival smiles wryly to himself. All those nosy people back home in the village would have been green with envy. Perfect as it may be, the reason for this elaborate set up was still at large and yet to be spotted.
Strange how quickly one gets used to having company. No freakishly sharp claws attacked Percival's toes. No hostile hissing came from under the chair in the corner when Percival walked pass. No kittens had gotten themselves stuck on top of the kitchen cabinets. Merlin had a nasty assignment to complete, so he stayed at school and his room at the dorm like a good student, where Percival's odd working hours didn't crash with Merlin's odd study hours.
He couldn't blame the cat for not showing up. It was difficult to imagine that the cat would recognize their good intentions. First they had trapped her inside his flat for weeks, and insisted that they could borrow her kittens and pet them despite her continuous protests. Then they had given her kittens away to strangers, one by one. When that was done, they had tricked her into a transport cage and drove her to the nearest vet clinic. He tried not to feel guilty about, it was for the best.
Now, in hind sight, it did bring a small smile to his face. The vet had looked at the hissing furry demon in the transport cage and she was a bit hesitant to accept the plan. Percival was glad he was not in the vet's shoes, getting the cat into the cage had been difficult enough. Perhaps it had seemed a bit pointless to spay a hostile stray cat. But the other only real option was to put her down. She couldn't stay indoors, she would never settle down. Simply releasing her back outside would leave her back where they started. She would have an easier life now, with only herself to care for rather than perhaps two or three litters per year. The vet was a professional after all, and Merlin's semi celebrity status might have helped. It's hard to remain blasé when the son of the late Bali Noor stand before you, speaking animatedly about the positive effect of returning feral, sterilized cats to their territory.
It was the first time Percival had seen Merlin embrace his legacy and used it to his advantage. Or rather, to Percival's advantage. He had been brilliant, Percival thought, though he knew he was far from objective in that matter. In the end even Percival felt like they were all doing the world a great favour by having the cat spayed and released back into the wild, aka Percival's backyard. And somehow Merlin had landed the deal where the cat stayed until she was healed and ready to be set free. Then they blew their perfect game when the newly convinced vet were adding them to their computer files and asked for the cat's name. And so the cat was named Stray, after an awkward pause which probably felt longer than it actually did. It took all they had to not burst into hysteric laughter.
Somehow Percival had a feeling that would have reached the media in a not so flattering way.
A sudden impulse made him glance at his phone. There were nothing new there since last he checked. Not strange, as it was stupidly late at night and no-one would be up. Man, what did he do with his time before Merlin and the cats came along?
He decides to take one last check before going to bed. And there, isn't that...?
He really should have waited, but he doesn't think Merlin will mind. He quickly sends a text.
"She's back!"
It doesn't take long before the reply comes, a string of happy smileys and cats.
He imagines Merlin's sleepy face blinking towards the screen and is filled with fondness. He sends one single red heart in return, and means every pixel.