....
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Sometimes I don't know why I bother. I never really expected anything to begin with. Nothing I do matters. Nothing ever works out for me. I have this inner-feeling of selfworthlessness that just builds and builds. I can't believe I'm failing all my classes... When did it get so hard? I can't get motivated to do anything. I'm pretty sure I'm just bugging my friends now. Blah. Unstructured rambling is cool.
On a happier note! We may be getting a new drummer! "I'm only 15!" Not a prob yo. "I'm a girl!" Even better! Haha I don't know why but it makes me think of Eisley, except they were more 13 - 19. Oh well. Chris will never let us make songs like that. Anyway we're "auditioning" her next weekend. Haha it's not much of an audition. We just want to see if she can play. Haha I hope she's more musically talented than I am. I can't write songs :/ Unless they're crappy techno beep boops. Then I kick ass! But no. Heck no to techno. Foo'. The only song we really have written, and by we I mean Chris, is a super hardcore song reminiscent of Agony Scene. O.o' Haha it's actually really good. Hardcore fans be a-mae-zed!
Hehe I start every line with 'haha', 'hehe, or 'heh'.
I'm so lame =P.
Just because I'm gay and it's like my form of the 'lolz'.
Eh, I feel like crap...
Now would be a good time to cheer up.
In all actuality I was genuinely happy there for a while. It was so easy to smile. Now it seems everything is collapsing in on itself. I blame my own laziness for it. I still have no idea what will be done with my car or what I'm doing after high school. Sigh... I cry too much! Haha Stacey, (gothravenstar) called me like 6 times in the last two days. She likes to talk a lot and, since I hardly ever talk, it's perfect for me to just sit there staring off to space as she rambles about how awesomely she got laid over spring break. Scott and Chris are all about it saying "Dude! Totally hit it!" Lately I've been thinking I should though I know I won't. It's not how I roll. The philosophy of 'take what you can get' I never want to live by. Haha and here I am now. I haven't had a girlfriend since freshman year... It's what I get for waiting for someone I'm crazy over.
Hahaha... This is definitely going to be my last emo post. No one wants to hear it anyway =P. The only thing I seem to be good at anymore is bringing people down. Haha no worries, I'll cheer up. I'll pretend I'm happy again. ;)
"Kill me" - Emo Baby
But take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
And that's what I've gotta face
I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
But take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've gotta face
Take a look at me now
I'll just be standing here
And you coming back to me
Is against the odds
And that's a chance I've gotta face
Sometimes I don't know why I bother. I never really expected anything to begin with. Nothing I do matters. Nothing ever works out for me. I have this inner-feeling of selfworthlessness that just builds and builds. I can't believe I'm failing all my classes... When did it get so hard? I can't get motivated to do anything. I'm pretty sure I'm just bugging my friends now. Blah. Unstructured rambling is cool.
On a happier note! We may be getting a new drummer! "I'm only 15!" Not a prob yo. "I'm a girl!" Even better! Haha I don't know why but it makes me think of Eisley, except they were more 13 - 19. Oh well. Chris will never let us make songs like that. Anyway we're "auditioning" her next weekend. Haha it's not much of an audition. We just want to see if she can play. Haha I hope she's more musically talented than I am. I can't write songs :/ Unless they're crappy techno beep boops. Then I kick ass! But no. Heck no to techno. Foo'. The only song we really have written, and by we I mean Chris, is a super hardcore song reminiscent of Agony Scene. O.o' Haha it's actually really good. Hardcore fans be a-mae-zed!
Hehe I start every line with 'haha', 'hehe, or 'heh'.
I'm so lame =P.
Just because I'm gay and it's like my form of the 'lolz'.
Eh, I feel like crap...
Now would be a good time to cheer up.
In all actuality I was genuinely happy there for a while. It was so easy to smile. Now it seems everything is collapsing in on itself. I blame my own laziness for it. I still have no idea what will be done with my car or what I'm doing after high school. Sigh... I cry too much! Haha Stacey, (gothravenstar) called me like 6 times in the last two days. She likes to talk a lot and, since I hardly ever talk, it's perfect for me to just sit there staring off to space as she rambles about how awesomely she got laid over spring break. Scott and Chris are all about it saying "Dude! Totally hit it!" Lately I've been thinking I should though I know I won't. It's not how I roll. The philosophy of 'take what you can get' I never want to live by. Haha and here I am now. I haven't had a girlfriend since freshman year... It's what I get for waiting for someone I'm crazy over.
Hahaha... This is definitely going to be my last emo post. No one wants to hear it anyway =P. The only thing I seem to be good at anymore is bringing people down. Haha no worries, I'll cheer up. I'll pretend I'm happy again. ;)
"Kill me" - Emo Baby
But take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
And that's what I've gotta face
I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
But take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've gotta face
Take a look at me now
I'll just be standing here
And you coming back to me
Is against the odds
And that's a chance I've gotta face