Reflections
So I just finished reading the first three stories I ever wrote. I hadn't read them in a long time, and I wanted to see how much my perspective has changed in a year. Well, at least I can say I survived the experience without being completely mortified.
God, I remember the first time I posted "Rin's Smile and Sesshomaru's Decision". I was so nervous, I had butterflies in my stomach. I was sure the first comment I'd receive would tell me how much I suck, and I dreaded it. But then the first review came, and it didn't rip me apart, and I realized I didn't have to be afraid of sharing my work.
See, a year ago, I would have never dreamt of writing. I didn't believe I was capable of it. I'd never dared to try. I wasn't even into fandom; I hadn't read a single Inuyasha fic at the time.
But then I got this idea in my head, and it wouldn't leave me alone. I couldn't believe I was doing it, but I actually started writing it down...
After the first fic, I thought that was it. I would never have another idea again. That's what I truly believed. I never expected I'd get so into this hobby and a year later I'd still be doing it. Hell, at this point, I can't picture NOT writing.
It's fun, it's cathartic, it gives me an opportunity to be creative. I love it. I love knowing that I'll never be perfect. I love that with every fic I learn something new. I love the feeling of connection to the characters, no matter how brief it is.
For me, you can't be unhappy when you're writing. (You can be sad, of course, if what you're writing is sad.) But the happiness is always there. Because that's what writing does for me. Even if the results are crap, the act of writing is a fulfilling one.
One year down... Maybe someday I'll get the hang of this thing... In the meantime, thanks for putting up with me.
Thanks to tarrin4ever and everyone else who's ever beta'd for me.
Thanks to my sister, who acts as a litmus test for some of my humor fics. If I can make her laugh, then I feel I'm on the right track.
And thanks everyone for reading. Your encouragement does a lot to get me through the rough times.
God, I remember the first time I posted "Rin's Smile and Sesshomaru's Decision". I was so nervous, I had butterflies in my stomach. I was sure the first comment I'd receive would tell me how much I suck, and I dreaded it. But then the first review came, and it didn't rip me apart, and I realized I didn't have to be afraid of sharing my work.
See, a year ago, I would have never dreamt of writing. I didn't believe I was capable of it. I'd never dared to try. I wasn't even into fandom; I hadn't read a single Inuyasha fic at the time.
But then I got this idea in my head, and it wouldn't leave me alone. I couldn't believe I was doing it, but I actually started writing it down...
After the first fic, I thought that was it. I would never have another idea again. That's what I truly believed. I never expected I'd get so into this hobby and a year later I'd still be doing it. Hell, at this point, I can't picture NOT writing.
It's fun, it's cathartic, it gives me an opportunity to be creative. I love it. I love knowing that I'll never be perfect. I love that with every fic I learn something new. I love the feeling of connection to the characters, no matter how brief it is.
For me, you can't be unhappy when you're writing. (You can be sad, of course, if what you're writing is sad.) But the happiness is always there. Because that's what writing does for me. Even if the results are crap, the act of writing is a fulfilling one.
One year down... Maybe someday I'll get the hang of this thing... In the meantime, thanks for putting up with me.
Thanks to tarrin4ever and everyone else who's ever beta'd for me.
Thanks to my sister, who acts as a litmus test for some of my humor fics. If I can make her laugh, then I feel I'm on the right track.
And thanks everyone for reading. Your encouragement does a lot to get me through the rough times.