Love is like a role that we play
I'm feeling like all these different things. I just...I just want what I want. I wish someone would tell me what it is. I'm feeling negativity. I don't know. I love Georgia. I mean sometimes I am in Norman and just miss....the traffic? No.
I just miss it that's all. It's where I come from. But it's good that I am in touch with where I'm from because it helps me in my pursuit of where I'm going. I can't wait to get back to school. My schedule will be totally different and I can't wait for rehearsals. It's like I've been away from my life for almost a whole month and I can't handle it. I wanna get back and get settled and back to normal. Norman. Is it possible to change this much in a month?
I just wanna cry right now. Over nothing. Nothing is the same and that is hard for me. A little bit. But it's the same thing that makes me wanna get out of here and get back to what I couldn't wait for when I had to pine through all last year.
I feel like...I feel like high school and this place was one big waiting room and I was just waiting for my name to be called. And everything here reminds me of it. I sit in my room and remember when I did the same thing hating the world because I had to wake up at 7am and it was about what time it is now...knowing I was just gonna be tired at school all day long. Things are so different. Listening to Dashboard and I look up at the ceiling of my car and remember the time I was listening to Dashboard when I was doing my make up on my way to school and I accidentally jabbed the ceiling with my mascara. Leaving a nice black circle. Speaking of which, I don't know how well that will come out when it comes time to sell her. But I also remember some of the best times of my life here. And the breakthroughs that I made. It's funny how things go.
I can't believe how different I am. But that is my new challenge. Keeping everything in my head and my repertoire. Everything I have learned and picked up and discovered. No matter what. Not letting it go to waste or go away. The one thing that hasn't changed is how actor trained my brain is and the way I look at things. I'm tired.
I don't miss the unexplainable dramatics and the obessive romantic interests and rummaging for answers and piece of mind. But I do miss all of you. I do. And however you feel is understandable. Everybody does it. Just remember this okay?
I just need to take that pill again. That pill that makes me not care and just want to take the risks that I dreamed of. No not a real pill. College just looks good on some people. I just feel like if I stay here any longer I will crave the safeness. I HATE that. Some things here just make my jaw drop. Make me sad, make me angry. And it's like I'm not allowed to. I am a person, an adult who lives in this town. Not one of the seniors or one of the drama kids. I co-exist with you. Maybe you should learn how to treat people. I'm not the only one. Even if I hate you, what do you think?
Like I said I'm feeling a lot of things right now.
One of the feelings is that this post meant absolutely nothing.
I'm sure in a few days I will feel the complete opposite.
It was like free association. But I feel better now.
What the fuck.
I just miss it that's all. It's where I come from. But it's good that I am in touch with where I'm from because it helps me in my pursuit of where I'm going. I can't wait to get back to school. My schedule will be totally different and I can't wait for rehearsals. It's like I've been away from my life for almost a whole month and I can't handle it. I wanna get back and get settled and back to normal. Norman. Is it possible to change this much in a month?
I just wanna cry right now. Over nothing. Nothing is the same and that is hard for me. A little bit. But it's the same thing that makes me wanna get out of here and get back to what I couldn't wait for when I had to pine through all last year.
I feel like...I feel like high school and this place was one big waiting room and I was just waiting for my name to be called. And everything here reminds me of it. I sit in my room and remember when I did the same thing hating the world because I had to wake up at 7am and it was about what time it is now...knowing I was just gonna be tired at school all day long. Things are so different. Listening to Dashboard and I look up at the ceiling of my car and remember the time I was listening to Dashboard when I was doing my make up on my way to school and I accidentally jabbed the ceiling with my mascara. Leaving a nice black circle. Speaking of which, I don't know how well that will come out when it comes time to sell her. But I also remember some of the best times of my life here. And the breakthroughs that I made. It's funny how things go.
I can't believe how different I am. But that is my new challenge. Keeping everything in my head and my repertoire. Everything I have learned and picked up and discovered. No matter what. Not letting it go to waste or go away. The one thing that hasn't changed is how actor trained my brain is and the way I look at things. I'm tired.
I don't miss the unexplainable dramatics and the obessive romantic interests and rummaging for answers and piece of mind. But I do miss all of you. I do. And however you feel is understandable. Everybody does it. Just remember this okay?
I just need to take that pill again. That pill that makes me not care and just want to take the risks that I dreamed of. No not a real pill. College just looks good on some people. I just feel like if I stay here any longer I will crave the safeness. I HATE that. Some things here just make my jaw drop. Make me sad, make me angry. And it's like I'm not allowed to. I am a person, an adult who lives in this town. Not one of the seniors or one of the drama kids. I co-exist with you. Maybe you should learn how to treat people. I'm not the only one. Even if I hate you, what do you think?
Like I said I'm feeling a lot of things right now.
One of the feelings is that this post meant absolutely nothing.
I'm sure in a few days I will feel the complete opposite.
It was like free association. But I feel better now.
What the fuck.