(no subject)
I cant sleep. My heart hurts. My stomach is twisting more and more with every minute. Ive never felt so sick.
I recorded a song for my little sisters. And for blue.
ALthough i wont let them listen to it till they're old enough to discover myspace anyway.
My voice is shot from way to many cigarettes these past few days so they could of been better.
But its me, it sounds like me, and thats how I like it, without the bullshit.
It depressed the hell out of me writing about it. Growing up and making mistakes.
All the things they will go through.
I get so afraid sometimes, i feel like theres no turning back.
Its like walking only to turn around every few seconds and find that theres another wall keeping you from a loved one or a memory and you will never be able to get back around it.
But im such a... i dont even know the word for it, I believe that walls are bullshit, I see right through it, i know whats there or at least what once was and I dont understand that its to late.
I dont understand my sudden flood of emotions, or my ability to express myself and my thoughts so easily after all these years.
I finally feel human and like how I used to be and its so hard to deal with right now.
I took my last stand in my current battle with love today.
The most thought and care I put into anything this 07 year.
All I could of hoped for was some kind of reply,
But maybe she feels like there really is nothing left. At all.
Im finally tired.
I cant wait to start working at Dixie.
I recorded a song for my little sisters. And for blue.
ALthough i wont let them listen to it till they're old enough to discover myspace anyway.
My voice is shot from way to many cigarettes these past few days so they could of been better.
But its me, it sounds like me, and thats how I like it, without the bullshit.
It depressed the hell out of me writing about it. Growing up and making mistakes.
All the things they will go through.
I get so afraid sometimes, i feel like theres no turning back.
Its like walking only to turn around every few seconds and find that theres another wall keeping you from a loved one or a memory and you will never be able to get back around it.
But im such a... i dont even know the word for it, I believe that walls are bullshit, I see right through it, i know whats there or at least what once was and I dont understand that its to late.
I dont understand my sudden flood of emotions, or my ability to express myself and my thoughts so easily after all these years.
I finally feel human and like how I used to be and its so hard to deal with right now.
I took my last stand in my current battle with love today.
The most thought and care I put into anything this 07 year.
All I could of hoped for was some kind of reply,
But maybe she feels like there really is nothing left. At all.
Im finally tired.
I cant wait to start working at Dixie.