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Jan 26, 2010 12:11

Sometimes when Omi talks about when I was a little girl, motivated and hopeful, I want to tell her that the little girl is gone ( Read more... )

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kagitsune January 27 2010, 15:56:12 UTC
Happy birthday to you... :3

I think it's important to know when to be a grown-up and when to be a little girl. Lately, I've had to put on my "big girl pants" a lot, but if I don't let myself be the kid I am in between, I get depressed and self-loathing and everything that comes with that.

You're a Christian, too? I suppose if God's been trying to tell me something this past year, it's "trust in Me". I still get the blues and the "I don't know what to do!!" freak-outs, but He comes in an comforts and guides every time I ask Him.

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amanikitty January 27 2010, 18:36:01 UTC
I'm still in the process of fully trustin in Him. When I stress I try to pray, but then at the same time I also have a lot of doubts about my decisions and whatnot, including choosing to get into the whole religion thing. I know it defeats the whole progress of me fully putting myself towards God's likeness, but I'm expected to recieve the Holy Ghost or working towards that, when I still don't understand what it is, and again I question everything about it, and in a way I also fear it because if I don't know how it feels then I'll be more reluctant when it comes to trying to pray and recieve the Ghost.

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kagitsune January 27 2010, 18:58:09 UTC
I don't know what denomination your are in... how do they interpret "receiving the Holy Spirit"? Speaking in tongues ( ... )

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amanikitty January 27 2010, 19:07:15 UTC
Apostolic Pentecostal and yes, recieving the Holy Spirit = speaking in tongues, and it's pretty much like an opening of the mind where God will guide you on something, yeah.

I feel that He's done so much by answering my prayers and my wishes, but at the same time I doubt Him. They say to call upon his name when you're in need of his strength, but at the same time a lot of the things I'm going through I know that they're my challenges, need to be done by me and me alone, and while I can pray and hope to God He will keep me focused and motivated to get my work done, I just don't feel it. I don't know if it's me not being fully willing to recieve His gift and His directions, or if He just simply haven't answered me.

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