Procrastinating on Chemistry Homework and いっぱい Reading to Write This Crap
So...much...writing...to...do...
And I'm not back in the swing of classes yet AT ALL. Only one of the writing things has to do with an actual class (and that's a whole f-ing short story for Smith, who apparently thinks I am far too nice to kick a printer when it's broken (I actually probably wouldn't kick the damn thing, but I wouldn't call it "nice" so much as "don't want to get sued and/or fined for repair costs"). The other THREE THINGS, not counting the crap I'm sure will crop up within the next couple weeks or so, are three freaking Cento articles I've taken on. I just turned in the first one, the next is due on Friday, and I had an idea for a third that I don't know when they'll want me to do. Honestly, it's fun writing the articles, but I hate writing crap that people could potentially get pissed about. Honestly, probably no one on campus gets a rat's ass what I write, as long as I keep it civilized and such, but my dad harped on me for my first article (I love you, Dad, but you're now marked in my proverbial book for that one), and I'm paranoid about not knowing what can come back and bite me in the butt over stuff. No one wants to read a flat article. People want to hear a voice. I want to write a voice. My voice on steroids, as it were, or maybe it's just my voice slightly less censored? I don't know. It's things I genuinely feel, but I try not to be as wishy-washy as I tend to feel I am in my perspectives on things. (Concerning that, I think I might actually be of the Post-Modernism thought, which is why I believe in no one Truth with a capital 'T' and instead appreciate the number of truths that exist for each person or group of people, my general outlook being "to each his own.") I try to write interesting articles that aren't simply "nice." People tend to think I am "nice" and apparently wouldn't kick a printer, but I'm not. Or rather, I am, but not all the time. I'm nice upfront because I'd like to get through the day without any unnecessary unpleasantries for myself or others. As people get to know me, they can see I'm not always a perkyhappyenthusiasticwagmytailuntilIdie person. Sometimes I get frustrated, and sometimes I flip my shit, too. But I can be affectionate, too, damn it, and I genuinely like people.
And it frustrates me to write these freaking articles because I want people to see past the nice, but I also don't want to offend, and that's pretty freaking hard. It's a necessary difficulty I need and want to learn, though, and that's why I keep writing these articles, and that's why I don't just up and quit this shit now.
The slight pay I earn for each article is a nice incentive, too, but that's not so much the point. It's a challenge, and if I succeed, I succeed, and if I fail, I fail. Either way, I get some cash in my pocket and experience under my belt (that's what she said), and that makes it worth it for me.
I'll still bitch about it, though, so amen to LiveJournal and its ranting purposes.
And I'm not back in the swing of classes yet AT ALL. Only one of the writing things has to do with an actual class (and that's a whole f-ing short story for Smith, who apparently thinks I am far too nice to kick a printer when it's broken (I actually probably wouldn't kick the damn thing, but I wouldn't call it "nice" so much as "don't want to get sued and/or fined for repair costs"). The other THREE THINGS, not counting the crap I'm sure will crop up within the next couple weeks or so, are three freaking Cento articles I've taken on. I just turned in the first one, the next is due on Friday, and I had an idea for a third that I don't know when they'll want me to do. Honestly, it's fun writing the articles, but I hate writing crap that people could potentially get pissed about. Honestly, probably no one on campus gets a rat's ass what I write, as long as I keep it civilized and such, but my dad harped on me for my first article (I love you, Dad, but you're now marked in my proverbial book for that one), and I'm paranoid about not knowing what can come back and bite me in the butt over stuff. No one wants to read a flat article. People want to hear a voice. I want to write a voice. My voice on steroids, as it were, or maybe it's just my voice slightly less censored? I don't know. It's things I genuinely feel, but I try not to be as wishy-washy as I tend to feel I am in my perspectives on things. (Concerning that, I think I might actually be of the Post-Modernism thought, which is why I believe in no one Truth with a capital 'T' and instead appreciate the number of truths that exist for each person or group of people, my general outlook being "to each his own.") I try to write interesting articles that aren't simply "nice." People tend to think I am "nice" and apparently wouldn't kick a printer, but I'm not. Or rather, I am, but not all the time. I'm nice upfront because I'd like to get through the day without any unnecessary unpleasantries for myself or others. As people get to know me, they can see I'm not always a perkyhappyenthusiasticwagmytailuntilIdie person. Sometimes I get frustrated, and sometimes I flip my shit, too. But I can be affectionate, too, damn it, and I genuinely like people.
And it frustrates me to write these freaking articles because I want people to see past the nice, but I also don't want to offend, and that's pretty freaking hard. It's a necessary difficulty I need and want to learn, though, and that's why I keep writing these articles, and that's why I don't just up and quit this shit now.
The slight pay I earn for each article is a nice incentive, too, but that's not so much the point. It's a challenge, and if I succeed, I succeed, and if I fail, I fail. Either way, I get some cash in my pocket and experience under my belt (that's what she said), and that makes it worth it for me.
I'll still bitch about it, though, so amen to LiveJournal and its ranting purposes.