hi
Sudden burning urge to check out livejournal? Ok!
First off I think LJ should still send me notifications at my email which I check frequently, so a PM or a comment should still reach me. I'm also on tumblr all of the time, if you're into that kind of thing. If you go to my tumblr you'll see the widest assortment of stuff. Lots of Romanovs, my current full-blown obsession which started off as a tiny seed planted at the tender age of 7 by the goofy Don Bluth movie; fertilized by a traveling museum exhibit I saw a year later that featured, among other things, Alexei's toys, Faberge eggs, and scraps of bloodied wallpaper from the basement of the Ipatiev House; and that has now sprouted fully thanks to the discovery of some great Romanov-centric tumblrs. Also I just finished a non-fiction book on Anna Anderson. And am kicking around a historical fiction novel idea. Anyway.
I also post a lot on Facebook and that's probably the best way to keep up with me if you're so inclined. That I give out less freely.
All right well since my last entry...in 2011...I graduated college and started working immediately, seriously my first day at my first big girl job was three days after I graduated. That was no good for me.
I don't want to be that person that's always using mental illness as an excuse but basically, the fall of 2012 to the fall of 2013 was pretty consistently shitty. Lot of really dark thoughts that are long gone now, thankfully, lot of sessions with a great therapist last summer. And a new job. I've been working for a big online directory company (basically, I work on the websites that they sell to small- and medium-sized businesses) for just about six months now and holy hell I am so much happier at this job than at the one I started at. I love my boss, my co-workers, and for the most part, I even love the work. What I don't love is that after six months I'm still a temp working through an agency, though my transition to full employee should be a matter of when, not if, at this point. Aaaaaand I work second shift, 4 pm to 12 am. Which I guess I'm kind of okay with by now, but for the most part, it sucks and I kind of hate the shift. I've been waiting since November to move to the day shift, and the only answer I ever get is, "Well, we'll let you know if something on the day shift opens up," so who knows man.
I'm still living with my parents, whoops. I am itching to get my own place, but the good news is I'm getting along with them quite well, in fact, this is probably the best my dad and I have ever got on. I think my little sister's sick to death of me, though. She'll be off to college this fall though, holy shit.
The other good news is that the plan is that currently, my good friend Liz and I will be moving into an apartment together when her lease runs out in May.
It's weird who you do and don't keep up with after college.
I'm not sure what else to say other than I feel really weird about abandoning LJ for so long...I feel like I want to get back into "fandom" but part of me feels like I've grown out of it? I've been doing original writing since I left, I've won NaNoWriMo the last 2 years in a row which feels great, but the other day I was trying to write Dragon Age fanfic and my brain was like... HRRRNNNG hhhhhow do we do this again?
I still enjoy video games and TV and such as much as ever but like I feel like my creative side was squashed under being a worker bee and being depressed for so long that I don't know how to create and collaborate and communicate any more without feeling just totally insignificant.
But I want to. Oh gosh you guys, the new Phoenix Wright game was out in October and I played it and sobbed through the opening and sobbed through the ending. So many tantalizing hints for fans to play with in regards to the gaps between Tribulations, Apollo Justice, and Dual Destinies. And Dragon Age 3 looks smashing and I've been playing the FFX HD remaster and just, Final Fantasy, and I've always liked how powerful Yuna is as a party member while also being soft-spoken and traditionally feminine with a penchant for flashy costume changes, and uh just Cloud, man that guy, he lived in my head for a long time and it was gr8.
Oh speaking of RP I got over my fear of forum RP and I've been posting in an original fantasy one pretty regularly since last summer (I remember telling my therapist all about it lmao) and I tend to think that everyone secretly hates me and my posts sometimes but I guess that's actually fairly common. It's fun, I love both my characters and everyone there is super nice.
And speaking of therapy I bought a BJD last summer and that was huge because after secretly admiring them for years, I finally had the disposable income for one and I was finally over my anxiety enough that I could buy one without really caring if my family thought she was creepy. (She's gorgeous and I would post photos if I had any proper ones on my laptop.)
So that's my life at the moment? A lot better than it's been since I graduated college, for sure. Still I feel like it's missing, idk, friendship and a sense of being part of something? And working nights when everyone works days makes that difficult. So I guess I just feel like screaming my thoughts into the ether might help. I'm keeping my expectations low mostly because I feel like I'm the shitty person here who can't maintain relationships like an adult but you all know where to find me.
First off I think LJ should still send me notifications at my email which I check frequently, so a PM or a comment should still reach me. I'm also on tumblr all of the time, if you're into that kind of thing. If you go to my tumblr you'll see the widest assortment of stuff. Lots of Romanovs, my current full-blown obsession which started off as a tiny seed planted at the tender age of 7 by the goofy Don Bluth movie; fertilized by a traveling museum exhibit I saw a year later that featured, among other things, Alexei's toys, Faberge eggs, and scraps of bloodied wallpaper from the basement of the Ipatiev House; and that has now sprouted fully thanks to the discovery of some great Romanov-centric tumblrs. Also I just finished a non-fiction book on Anna Anderson. And am kicking around a historical fiction novel idea. Anyway.
I also post a lot on Facebook and that's probably the best way to keep up with me if you're so inclined. That I give out less freely.
All right well since my last entry...in 2011...I graduated college and started working immediately, seriously my first day at my first big girl job was three days after I graduated. That was no good for me.
I don't want to be that person that's always using mental illness as an excuse but basically, the fall of 2012 to the fall of 2013 was pretty consistently shitty. Lot of really dark thoughts that are long gone now, thankfully, lot of sessions with a great therapist last summer. And a new job. I've been working for a big online directory company (basically, I work on the websites that they sell to small- and medium-sized businesses) for just about six months now and holy hell I am so much happier at this job than at the one I started at. I love my boss, my co-workers, and for the most part, I even love the work. What I don't love is that after six months I'm still a temp working through an agency, though my transition to full employee should be a matter of when, not if, at this point. Aaaaaand I work second shift, 4 pm to 12 am. Which I guess I'm kind of okay with by now, but for the most part, it sucks and I kind of hate the shift. I've been waiting since November to move to the day shift, and the only answer I ever get is, "Well, we'll let you know if something on the day shift opens up," so who knows man.
I'm still living with my parents, whoops. I am itching to get my own place, but the good news is I'm getting along with them quite well, in fact, this is probably the best my dad and I have ever got on. I think my little sister's sick to death of me, though. She'll be off to college this fall though, holy shit.
The other good news is that the plan is that currently, my good friend Liz and I will be moving into an apartment together when her lease runs out in May.
It's weird who you do and don't keep up with after college.
I'm not sure what else to say other than I feel really weird about abandoning LJ for so long...I feel like I want to get back into "fandom" but part of me feels like I've grown out of it? I've been doing original writing since I left, I've won NaNoWriMo the last 2 years in a row which feels great, but the other day I was trying to write Dragon Age fanfic and my brain was like... HRRRNNNG hhhhhow do we do this again?
I still enjoy video games and TV and such as much as ever but like I feel like my creative side was squashed under being a worker bee and being depressed for so long that I don't know how to create and collaborate and communicate any more without feeling just totally insignificant.
But I want to. Oh gosh you guys, the new Phoenix Wright game was out in October and I played it and sobbed through the opening and sobbed through the ending. So many tantalizing hints for fans to play with in regards to the gaps between Tribulations, Apollo Justice, and Dual Destinies. And Dragon Age 3 looks smashing and I've been playing the FFX HD remaster and just, Final Fantasy, and I've always liked how powerful Yuna is as a party member while also being soft-spoken and traditionally feminine with a penchant for flashy costume changes, and uh just Cloud, man that guy, he lived in my head for a long time and it was gr8.
Oh speaking of RP I got over my fear of forum RP and I've been posting in an original fantasy one pretty regularly since last summer (I remember telling my therapist all about it lmao) and I tend to think that everyone secretly hates me and my posts sometimes but I guess that's actually fairly common. It's fun, I love both my characters and everyone there is super nice.
And speaking of therapy I bought a BJD last summer and that was huge because after secretly admiring them for years, I finally had the disposable income for one and I was finally over my anxiety enough that I could buy one without really caring if my family thought she was creepy. (She's gorgeous and I would post photos if I had any proper ones on my laptop.)
So that's my life at the moment? A lot better than it's been since I graduated college, for sure. Still I feel like it's missing, idk, friendship and a sense of being part of something? And working nights when everyone works days makes that difficult. So I guess I just feel like screaming my thoughts into the ether might help. I'm keeping my expectations low mostly because I feel like I'm the shitty person here who can't maintain relationships like an adult but you all know where to find me.