(no subject)
okay where to start?
so i think i need to clear the air a little bit. i'd like to do this in person with a lot of people but i don't think that's necessarily possible.
yesterday i got to talk to colin and explain a little more of my immature actions and he got to explain something that happened over a week ago. he's my best friend and knows me way too well. but he didn't know me the weekend in austin because i acted like a completely different person, and i didn't know him last monday.
pretty much what was supposed to happen and what was my original PLAN was to say, "let's slow down, i'm scared, not 100% and you deserve to know" but insetad he read me like a book and took me aside to get it out of me. i wanted to tell him when we were alone and maybe laying down in a bed somewhere because, well, we talk best that way. buttttttttt we were drunk and at a party when i told him. blah. and since i was drunk it didn't come out as i had originally thought it would. probably something like, "OKAY, UM, I DUNNO, IT'S NOT WORKING??" and yeah. i'm stupid. and not that kind of person, i promise. no one should do that.
i'm just grateful that colin is a great friend to me and wants to remain being my friend. everything snowballed and there's much more to the story, but now in the end i got to say what was real and he got to express where he's coming from. pretty much, yesterday was our real grown up break up. ending on good terms and coming to a middle ground like an adult is supposed to.
the end. i need a job and october is really busy.
so i think i need to clear the air a little bit. i'd like to do this in person with a lot of people but i don't think that's necessarily possible.
yesterday i got to talk to colin and explain a little more of my immature actions and he got to explain something that happened over a week ago. he's my best friend and knows me way too well. but he didn't know me the weekend in austin because i acted like a completely different person, and i didn't know him last monday.
pretty much what was supposed to happen and what was my original PLAN was to say, "let's slow down, i'm scared, not 100% and you deserve to know" but insetad he read me like a book and took me aside to get it out of me. i wanted to tell him when we were alone and maybe laying down in a bed somewhere because, well, we talk best that way. buttttttttt we were drunk and at a party when i told him. blah. and since i was drunk it didn't come out as i had originally thought it would. probably something like, "OKAY, UM, I DUNNO, IT'S NOT WORKING??" and yeah. i'm stupid. and not that kind of person, i promise. no one should do that.
i'm just grateful that colin is a great friend to me and wants to remain being my friend. everything snowballed and there's much more to the story, but now in the end i got to say what was real and he got to express where he's coming from. pretty much, yesterday was our real grown up break up. ending on good terms and coming to a middle ground like an adult is supposed to.
the end. i need a job and october is really busy.