FIC: "Equal and Opposite" 9/10, NC-17, Ten/Rose

[amandarex]

Title: Equal and Opposite
Author: Amanda Rex, amandarex
Character/Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rating: NC-17, M
Spoilers: All of S1, S2, and S3 up to "The Lazarus Experiment"
Summary: As the Doctor discovered during the events of "The Runaway Bride", an excess of Huon particles can send you straight to the TARDIS, if you're not careful. What if Rose carried enough

Comments

[wendymr]

Oh, god. She won't remember, but he will. How agonising. :(

But... you asked for thoughts, and I have them ;)

Rose is worried about Martha, and I love that:
"I don't want to take any chances with someone else's life," she insisted. "She's in enough trouble as it is, due to me."

That's perfect. That's so Rose. But I don't see much reaction from the Doctor; okay, he's letting himself believe that she'll be fine, that they'll manage to pull her through safely. But not even a flicker of concern in his expression that Martha's stuck where she is and hasn't a clue what's going on?

The other thing that strikes an off-note - and you may have this being dealt with in the final chapter - is Jackie. I'm guilty of this too: my first Doomsday fix-it had Rose disappear with the Doctor without a thought of Jackie, beyond I did think she'd call her mum to say goodbye; but the Doctor always had Jackie's feelings in his mind where Rose was concerned. Both of them would be aware that her mum would have no idea where she is and would be worried sick - and not even a chance for Rose to say goodbye if she does get to stay.

Maybe you do intend to deal with that in the final chapter, but neither of them have mentioned Jackie - unless it's because they both think, at heart, that Rose will have to go back?

Maybe what's causing me these concerns - Martha and Jackie - is that I haven't had Doctor-POV in these last couple of chapters, so I don't get a glimpse into his thoughts.

But don't take any of this to mean that I'm not enjoying the story, because I am: very much :)

[amandarex]

Maybe what's causing me these concerns - Martha and Jackie - is that I haven't had Doctor-POV [snip] so I don't get a glimpse into his thoughts.

I think that may have a lot to do with it, because there's no Doctor POV in the whole thing, which I'm sure is frustrating when you're trying to figure out what's going on inside his head. It's all Rose (and Martha, when Rose isn't there). Anything you know about the Doctor at this point is because Rose is guessing or because he's said it out loud.

I'd love to say it was a deliberate choice, done to put you more in Rose's frame of mind, because she doesn't know what's going on and the Doctor's not, as is sometimes refuses to, explaining very much of what he's thinking...but really, it could be better described as a side-effect of wanting to stay with the companions through this mess.

Maybe I'm chicken to go into a Gallifreyan brain, because I seem to remember that it's a scary trip from one of the Fourth Doctor stories. (Gosh, which one is that...I need to watch that again.)

Jackie, though, that was a difficult bit. I wish I kept old drafts instead of saving over them, but at one point, I had something about her asking the Doctor if it would be possible to contact Jackie/Pete/Mickey to say goodbye, but I ended up cutting it. It really got in the way in the couple of places I tried it. I think Rose would know how impossible it is to bridge the two universes, especially given how hard they're working to try to pull Martha back through, and she just wouldn't even ask and have to hear the "no" out loud.

I know, but what about Jackie? Honestly, if Rose ever disappeared, I think they'd all know what happened. I'm sure she would worry and it would be terrible for her, but I don't know that it would seem like a big mystery to them.

That, probably, is not the answer you were looking for on that one...I swear, though, I am sympathetic to Jackie. Much more than I would have been before having a daughter of my own, mind you. (And needless to say, if she ever does something like this to me, it would break my heart!)

[wendymr]

I think, again, much of this could be handled by inserting some of it in Rose's POV. Why doesn't she mention Jackie? Because she knows the Doctor can't help, if he does get Martha back safely and she gets to stay. So we could see her reason that through in her head.

You know what also occurs to me at this point, though? That the Doctor, when he tells her that if she has to go back she'll remember nothing, could add that it would probably be the best thing to happen, because that way her mum doesn't have to lose her and never know what happened to her. I could just see the Doctor thinking that.

And finally, re. Martha, again via Rose's POV you could show us why the Doctor's not talking about her: because he is worried but she knows him well enough to know he won't say so; because he cares about Martha and maybe doesn't want to let her see; because he's trying to convince himself that it'll be okay and he'll get to keep both of them.

[amandarex]

That's all very interesting...I'm going to think about this and ruminate on some possible edits...

::processing::

:)

[amandarex]

Ah, and I forgot in my last comment to thank you for sharing all these thoughts. I was far too interested in delving in to the issues you brought up to remember my manners! I really do appreciate it.

[wendymr]

You're very welcome! I'm just glad you don't mind my saying all this :)