FIC: Doctor Who, "Illusions in White" 1/1, PG (Nine/Rose)
Fic Name: "Illusions in White", 1/1
Rating: PG
Prompt: 019. White
Claim: Nine/Rose
Spoilers: All the way to Doomsday, in sort of a strange way.
This is part of the doctorwho_100 challenge. My prompt table. Concrit welcome.
Author's notes at the end.
Three months. They'd had her back for three months this time before she left them again. Left them for him. He knew she was happier this way but that was cold comfort to him now.
Mickey angrily revved the gas and threw the vehicle into gear, tearing away from the curb and merging onto the road. Didn't know where he was driving to, and it didn't bother him. Nowhere he could go would have Rose, and he was done trying to convince himself that he didn't still need her.
Just like her, really, to leave them without a moment's thought of the mess she'd left behind. He couldn't take it anymore. Getting her back only to lose her again, and him, with nothing to say or do to stop it.
"So, where are we going, then?" she asked, grinning excitedly at the Doctor in the green light of the TARDIS control room. It was always so dark here now, she realized. It bothered her for a moment until she decided there was no accounting for the moods of the TARDIS. Perhaps she'd decided to spend a decade or two wearing this eerie green color that didn't really suit her, the same way some of the older ladies back at the Powell Estates insisted on keeping one hideous, unflattering hairstyle or another.
"I dunno. Up to you, I s'pose," he answered in a soft Northern accent. Something about it made her refocus her eyes and really look at him, but she wasn't sure why. "What? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"I just...I'm not sure. I just expected something else," she said, realizing she'd meant to say someone else, but that didn't make any sense, did it? "You are the Doctor, aren't you?" she asked, realizing how silly it sounded as soon as the words were out of her mouth.
"Last time I checked," he said jokingly, but there was concern lurking just under the surface. "Listen, Rose, if you need a bit of a kip then the universe can wait," he said, patting the TARDIS affectionately.
"Since when?" she asked, laughing. "I dunno, it's not as though you've shown much interest in how much sleep I've got before. Anyway, I'll be fine. Just try to find a planet that's not about to blow up, all right? We could do with a quiet day. Maybe somewhere we can get a good fry-up, for a start?"
"Fry-up," he said, throwing levers and twisting dials as the TARDIS began to lurch beneath her feet. They both grabbed for whatever they could find to stay upright, though he always had a lot less trouble with that than she did. "Right, you want a fry-up, I'm gettin' it for you."
"Not Earth though, right?"
"I remember," he said, tapping his temple with one long finger. "You said no more trips to Earth, so I'll not take you there unless there's an emergency or you ask to see Jackie. I did promise, you know."
"All right then. Let's see this amazing alien fry-up."
When they were running back to the TARDIS at breakneck pace little more than an hour later, Rose found she was so well practiced at running for her life that she had energy to spare. She used it to reflect on her current situation.
She could still feel the grease on her lips from the breakfast he'd treated her to, wonderful because it had been familiar and exotic all at the same time. Just like him. The Doctor.
Familiar and safe, though no one in her life was more foreign to her or had put her in as much danger. Warm and tender, but sometimes distant and detached as well. So complicated, in a way that nothing in her life had ever been before. The rest of her life had been common as muck until the day he'd taken her hand and told her to run.
The Doctor's black leather jacket flapped around him as he ran, teasing her as he pulled away. She cursed him for his longer legs, but she was sure they could both outrun the rather squat locals with no problem. She took a quick glance over her shoulder and realized she couldn't see their pursuers at all anymore. When she turned to tell the Doctor, she wondered if she wasn't running a bit too fast.
Her eyes seemed to have gone a bit funny. When she first turned back to yell to him, he seemed shorter. His jacket was still there, but it was lighter, both in color and in weight. And were those Converse on his feet? And that hair, flying back...when had he got enough hair for it to flip around like that? She stopped running at once and let out a yelp of surprise, looking around to see where the Doctor, her Doctor, had gone.
The world began to spin around her and she lost her balance, slumping toward the ground. She'd just clutched her head and braced for the impact when she felt a pair of strong, sure arms around her. When she dared to open her eyes again, the silver of his were staring back at her.
"Rose," he said, sounding panicked. "You all right?"
She took him in, every detail, trying to prove to herself that he was still with her. His closely cropped hair, those ears, worry lines on his forehead, and his long, rather elegant neck-it was all as it should be.
"Fine, just a bit dizzy, is all. Thought I was seeing things for a moment there. I can get back up now, though."
"Sure? I can carry you-"
"No," she protested, allowing him to help her up, then relishing in the feel of her hand in his as he took it, preparing to resume their escape.
"There's a girl," he said, then turned away and began to run again.
"What did I do, anyway? Don't even remember what I said before that big one, the one behind the counter went all funny."
"You took out your mobile," he yelled, his words almost lost in the wind. "Should have told you. Anti-technology culture, this one. Everything here was a weapon before they banned it all. They thought you meant to attack them."
For the millionth time, she felt like the thickest person the Doctor must have had the misfortune to travel with. "Sorry," she called up to him, feeling as though it was more than a bit inadequate.
"S'nothing," he said, and the git actually managed to shrug his shoulders even as he was pumping his free arm in time with the rhythm of his legs.
They rounded a corner and she finally caught sight of the TARDIS. She'd never been so bloody happy to see that blue box before, which seemed odd to Rose once she took a moment to think about it. They'd certainly been in more danger than this plenty of times, but she felt as though she'd give that ship a big kiss on the lips if she could find anything inside her that fit the description.
The Doctor was quick with his key and they were soon inside, bent over and panting. The panting turned to a giggle for Rose, earning her an annoyed look from the Doctor before he began to laugh as well.
"That was a good fry-up," she told him between gales of laughter, clinging hopelessly to him.
"Why'd you bring out that bloody phone in the first place?" the Doctor asked her, as close to out-and-out blame as he was likely to get.
"Jus' wanted to brag to mum. Wasn't anything, really. Nothing worth all that bit."
"Rose?" came her mum's voice, sounding muffled and far away.
Rose looked around in alarm, as though Jackie would be standing in the control room somewhere, waiting for her to get back and looking the same as she used to when Rose would try to sneak in past curfew.
"Must be the phone," the Doctor said, his brow furrowing all the same.
She dug around in her pockets, searching for the smooth plastic case of her mobile but finding nothing. "Where is the bloody thing?" she asked. "Can't be far if I can hear her, can it?" She yelled out, hoping the phone could pick up her voice. "Can't find my mobile just now, mum. Sorry for the trouble, but you can hang up and I'll ring you soon as I find it, all right?"
"Oh, she'll love that, she will," the Doctor said, pushing away from Rose a bit now that they weren't laughing anymore.
"Rose! Answer me! We want you back, darling. Be a good girl and come back, all right?" the voice continued, sounding less and less like it was coming through the speaker of her mobile and almost as though her mum was there in the room with them.
"That's strange," she said, wondering what was going on at home that would make her mum sound so upset. "Can we go back and make sure she's-"
"Rose," he interrupted, sounding quite urgent. He took her chin in his hands and made her look at him, and then he continued. "Rose Tyler, I love you."
"Doctor, I-" she broke off, not sure what to say. It was everything she'd ever hoped she'd hear from him but hearing the words made her feel like crying and she wasn't sure why. "But my mum...she sounds so upset," Rose worried, shutting her eyes to clear her head and suddenly feeling the absence of his hands. When she reopened them, she found herself alone.
When had the control room gotten so bright? It was always so green these days. Green and dark. But now, almost bright white. White everywhere, actually.
"Doctor!" she called out, her heart pounding as the center column began to fade away. "Doctor!"
"Rose!" she heard, a different voice this time, but still the Doctor's somehow. "Rose!" he screamed, his voice breaking. She felt as though she was flying, being sucked through some terrifying hole that led to emptiness.
When she decided she'd been lost for sure, two strong arms were around her again. Not the Doctor, but another man she knew she could trust, no matter what.
"Daddy," she whispered, and he was there. They weren't standing, though. She was lying down and he was there with her, but his arms were so comforting that she didn't care how they'd come to be here. She buried her face in his shoulder and wept, still not sure what had gone wrong. Every tear felt as though it was being ripped from her, taking a bit of her with it as she screamed and beat her fists against him. She called out for the Doctor until her voice broke and was hoarse, relaxing only when someone else grabbed her and she felt a sharp stab as they pushed a needle into her arm.
The new pair of hands settled her back against the pillow, though that didn't make any sense. She might be lying down, but she was in the TARDIS, laughing with the Doctor and wondering how much trouble they would be in with her mum the next time they saw her. There weren't any pillows in the control room.
Or-wait. Sounded and smelled like she was at the beach, now. She could hear the waves beating against the sandy beach and smell the salt in the air. Or was that from the tears that ran down her face? Something...what was it? Something was wrong. Someone had just been taken from her, and taken so abruptly that she would never know for sure what he'd been about to tell her. What on earth was going on?
"We're losing her, aren't we?" her mum said, and Rose would have looked for the mobile again if her arms didn't feel so heavy. "She'll never really be here. You might have saved her, like you said, but if I'd known you were saving her to be like this..."
"Jax," her dad-her dad, who was dead-said, and Rose wondered if the Doctor hadn't found a way to save him after all...she'd have to ask, wouldn't she? "It'll be all right. We'll reach her. I know we will. We'll get her to let go. We had her with us all that time before that day on the beach. We can get her back again. It'll just take time."
Rose fought against the fatigue that had overcome her so quickly, needing to see her dad, find out how he'd come to be here. She only managed to glimpse white-the nurse in her stark, severe outfit, the walls, the sheets, the bed-before it overcame her.
The smile that played over her lips moments later was the only indication that she was back with him again. Her Doctor.
Author's notes: I actually think Rose is quite a strong character, but losing the Doctor the way she did, and then that abbreviated and truncated goodbye...well, that's enough to drive anyone 'round the bend for a bit.
Rating: PG
Prompt: 019. White
Claim: Nine/Rose
Spoilers: All the way to Doomsday, in sort of a strange way.
This is part of the doctorwho_100 challenge. My prompt table. Concrit welcome.
Author's notes at the end.
Three months. They'd had her back for three months this time before she left them again. Left them for him. He knew she was happier this way but that was cold comfort to him now.
Mickey angrily revved the gas and threw the vehicle into gear, tearing away from the curb and merging onto the road. Didn't know where he was driving to, and it didn't bother him. Nowhere he could go would have Rose, and he was done trying to convince himself that he didn't still need her.
Just like her, really, to leave them without a moment's thought of the mess she'd left behind. He couldn't take it anymore. Getting her back only to lose her again, and him, with nothing to say or do to stop it.
"So, where are we going, then?" she asked, grinning excitedly at the Doctor in the green light of the TARDIS control room. It was always so dark here now, she realized. It bothered her for a moment until she decided there was no accounting for the moods of the TARDIS. Perhaps she'd decided to spend a decade or two wearing this eerie green color that didn't really suit her, the same way some of the older ladies back at the Powell Estates insisted on keeping one hideous, unflattering hairstyle or another.
"I dunno. Up to you, I s'pose," he answered in a soft Northern accent. Something about it made her refocus her eyes and really look at him, but she wasn't sure why. "What? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"I just...I'm not sure. I just expected something else," she said, realizing she'd meant to say someone else, but that didn't make any sense, did it? "You are the Doctor, aren't you?" she asked, realizing how silly it sounded as soon as the words were out of her mouth.
"Last time I checked," he said jokingly, but there was concern lurking just under the surface. "Listen, Rose, if you need a bit of a kip then the universe can wait," he said, patting the TARDIS affectionately.
"Since when?" she asked, laughing. "I dunno, it's not as though you've shown much interest in how much sleep I've got before. Anyway, I'll be fine. Just try to find a planet that's not about to blow up, all right? We could do with a quiet day. Maybe somewhere we can get a good fry-up, for a start?"
"Fry-up," he said, throwing levers and twisting dials as the TARDIS began to lurch beneath her feet. They both grabbed for whatever they could find to stay upright, though he always had a lot less trouble with that than she did. "Right, you want a fry-up, I'm gettin' it for you."
"Not Earth though, right?"
"I remember," he said, tapping his temple with one long finger. "You said no more trips to Earth, so I'll not take you there unless there's an emergency or you ask to see Jackie. I did promise, you know."
"All right then. Let's see this amazing alien fry-up."
When they were running back to the TARDIS at breakneck pace little more than an hour later, Rose found she was so well practiced at running for her life that she had energy to spare. She used it to reflect on her current situation.
She could still feel the grease on her lips from the breakfast he'd treated her to, wonderful because it had been familiar and exotic all at the same time. Just like him. The Doctor.
Familiar and safe, though no one in her life was more foreign to her or had put her in as much danger. Warm and tender, but sometimes distant and detached as well. So complicated, in a way that nothing in her life had ever been before. The rest of her life had been common as muck until the day he'd taken her hand and told her to run.
The Doctor's black leather jacket flapped around him as he ran, teasing her as he pulled away. She cursed him for his longer legs, but she was sure they could both outrun the rather squat locals with no problem. She took a quick glance over her shoulder and realized she couldn't see their pursuers at all anymore. When she turned to tell the Doctor, she wondered if she wasn't running a bit too fast.
Her eyes seemed to have gone a bit funny. When she first turned back to yell to him, he seemed shorter. His jacket was still there, but it was lighter, both in color and in weight. And were those Converse on his feet? And that hair, flying back...when had he got enough hair for it to flip around like that? She stopped running at once and let out a yelp of surprise, looking around to see where the Doctor, her Doctor, had gone.
The world began to spin around her and she lost her balance, slumping toward the ground. She'd just clutched her head and braced for the impact when she felt a pair of strong, sure arms around her. When she dared to open her eyes again, the silver of his were staring back at her.
"Rose," he said, sounding panicked. "You all right?"
She took him in, every detail, trying to prove to herself that he was still with her. His closely cropped hair, those ears, worry lines on his forehead, and his long, rather elegant neck-it was all as it should be.
"Fine, just a bit dizzy, is all. Thought I was seeing things for a moment there. I can get back up now, though."
"Sure? I can carry you-"
"No," she protested, allowing him to help her up, then relishing in the feel of her hand in his as he took it, preparing to resume their escape.
"There's a girl," he said, then turned away and began to run again.
"What did I do, anyway? Don't even remember what I said before that big one, the one behind the counter went all funny."
"You took out your mobile," he yelled, his words almost lost in the wind. "Should have told you. Anti-technology culture, this one. Everything here was a weapon before they banned it all. They thought you meant to attack them."
For the millionth time, she felt like the thickest person the Doctor must have had the misfortune to travel with. "Sorry," she called up to him, feeling as though it was more than a bit inadequate.
"S'nothing," he said, and the git actually managed to shrug his shoulders even as he was pumping his free arm in time with the rhythm of his legs.
They rounded a corner and she finally caught sight of the TARDIS. She'd never been so bloody happy to see that blue box before, which seemed odd to Rose once she took a moment to think about it. They'd certainly been in more danger than this plenty of times, but she felt as though she'd give that ship a big kiss on the lips if she could find anything inside her that fit the description.
The Doctor was quick with his key and they were soon inside, bent over and panting. The panting turned to a giggle for Rose, earning her an annoyed look from the Doctor before he began to laugh as well.
"That was a good fry-up," she told him between gales of laughter, clinging hopelessly to him.
"Why'd you bring out that bloody phone in the first place?" the Doctor asked her, as close to out-and-out blame as he was likely to get.
"Jus' wanted to brag to mum. Wasn't anything, really. Nothing worth all that bit."
"Rose?" came her mum's voice, sounding muffled and far away.
Rose looked around in alarm, as though Jackie would be standing in the control room somewhere, waiting for her to get back and looking the same as she used to when Rose would try to sneak in past curfew.
"Must be the phone," the Doctor said, his brow furrowing all the same.
She dug around in her pockets, searching for the smooth plastic case of her mobile but finding nothing. "Where is the bloody thing?" she asked. "Can't be far if I can hear her, can it?" She yelled out, hoping the phone could pick up her voice. "Can't find my mobile just now, mum. Sorry for the trouble, but you can hang up and I'll ring you soon as I find it, all right?"
"Oh, she'll love that, she will," the Doctor said, pushing away from Rose a bit now that they weren't laughing anymore.
"Rose! Answer me! We want you back, darling. Be a good girl and come back, all right?" the voice continued, sounding less and less like it was coming through the speaker of her mobile and almost as though her mum was there in the room with them.
"That's strange," she said, wondering what was going on at home that would make her mum sound so upset. "Can we go back and make sure she's-"
"Rose," he interrupted, sounding quite urgent. He took her chin in his hands and made her look at him, and then he continued. "Rose Tyler, I love you."
"Doctor, I-" she broke off, not sure what to say. It was everything she'd ever hoped she'd hear from him but hearing the words made her feel like crying and she wasn't sure why. "But my mum...she sounds so upset," Rose worried, shutting her eyes to clear her head and suddenly feeling the absence of his hands. When she reopened them, she found herself alone.
When had the control room gotten so bright? It was always so green these days. Green and dark. But now, almost bright white. White everywhere, actually.
"Doctor!" she called out, her heart pounding as the center column began to fade away. "Doctor!"
"Rose!" she heard, a different voice this time, but still the Doctor's somehow. "Rose!" he screamed, his voice breaking. She felt as though she was flying, being sucked through some terrifying hole that led to emptiness.
When she decided she'd been lost for sure, two strong arms were around her again. Not the Doctor, but another man she knew she could trust, no matter what.
"Daddy," she whispered, and he was there. They weren't standing, though. She was lying down and he was there with her, but his arms were so comforting that she didn't care how they'd come to be here. She buried her face in his shoulder and wept, still not sure what had gone wrong. Every tear felt as though it was being ripped from her, taking a bit of her with it as she screamed and beat her fists against him. She called out for the Doctor until her voice broke and was hoarse, relaxing only when someone else grabbed her and she felt a sharp stab as they pushed a needle into her arm.
The new pair of hands settled her back against the pillow, though that didn't make any sense. She might be lying down, but she was in the TARDIS, laughing with the Doctor and wondering how much trouble they would be in with her mum the next time they saw her. There weren't any pillows in the control room.
Or-wait. Sounded and smelled like she was at the beach, now. She could hear the waves beating against the sandy beach and smell the salt in the air. Or was that from the tears that ran down her face? Something...what was it? Something was wrong. Someone had just been taken from her, and taken so abruptly that she would never know for sure what he'd been about to tell her. What on earth was going on?
"We're losing her, aren't we?" her mum said, and Rose would have looked for the mobile again if her arms didn't feel so heavy. "She'll never really be here. You might have saved her, like you said, but if I'd known you were saving her to be like this..."
"Jax," her dad-her dad, who was dead-said, and Rose wondered if the Doctor hadn't found a way to save him after all...she'd have to ask, wouldn't she? "It'll be all right. We'll reach her. I know we will. We'll get her to let go. We had her with us all that time before that day on the beach. We can get her back again. It'll just take time."
Rose fought against the fatigue that had overcome her so quickly, needing to see her dad, find out how he'd come to be here. She only managed to glimpse white-the nurse in her stark, severe outfit, the walls, the sheets, the bed-before it overcame her.
The smile that played over her lips moments later was the only indication that she was back with him again. Her Doctor.
Author's notes: I actually think Rose is quite a strong character, but losing the Doctor the way she did, and then that abbreviated and truncated goodbye...well, that's enough to drive anyone 'round the bend for a bit.