socially inept
That's how I feel most of the time. I can not have conversations with people that I don't know. Sometimes, I can't even have conversations with people I do know. I don't know if it's a confidence issue or what, but I hate it. I can't ask questions that are decent and require more than a yes or no response. I can't answer questions thoughtfully. I forget what I'm trying to say in the middle of things I'm saying... or when I say things, they just don't come out right. I trip over words and just end up looking like a total and complete socially inept idiot. :( I am smart, and sometimes, I am clever and fun to be around, but I just can't portray it to people I don't know.
I'm fine in professional situations (interviews and talking to "patients" and such), but in social situations, I just can't do it.
I wish I was normal.
My parents are coming this weekend for the White Coat Ceremony. I'm not looking forward to it. My mom's response to my invitation to go to dinner with my friends and their families was "Well, we really just wanted to spend time with you. We really don't get to see you that often. Can't we just make dinner at your apartment? I don't really want to sit around and have small talk with people I'm never going to see again". They were just here last month!!! Did I mention that they're going to be staying with me all weekend and I have a HUGE test the next week? Yeah, fun times. Especially since they've both been in crappy, "let me vent and dump all my troubles on Amanda" moods for the past month or so... Oh joy of joys...