on a sunday, she'll think it through, the hopes that you have wished for won't come true.........
well, it's over. and i really feel secure this time in saying that mike and i are finished, completely and totally. i don't even want to look at him, i don't even want to think about him. he ended it, as usual. he wrote me an e-mail and said the same banal crap he always says. whats really making me ill about the whole thing is that i predicted it. i sat there and i thought "it's going to happen again, i'm going to trust him and he's going to do the same damn things he's done every time." but i didn't want to believe it, i wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he did do it and it's over. i'm not even going to write him back. i'm just letting it go. i'm boxing up all of his stuff and shipping it to him. he says he wants to be friends, but i don't see how b/c we have no relationship to even base that off of. i don't trust him, so what do we have? NOTHING. he said in his little e-mail that he doesn't have feelings for me, but apparently he's been talking to brandon and brandon told me that mike just doesn't want to date me. well what the fuck am i supposed to take away from this? you have feeligs for me, but i'm not datable? i really wish someone would tell me why the hell i sat and listened to this insane bullshit for 3 years? it's all babble, none of it makes any sense.he's a walking contradiction, a conundrum, i will never figure him out and you know what? i don't want to. fuck it. i have better things to do with my time. yesterday was such a good day in the beginning, i went shopping, i was in a good mood, i bought really cute shoes and i went to the goodwill and then i came home and i got my acceptance letter to shephard. and of course i called him and he just groaned. he sounded like i was killing him.and i felt guilty b/c i got into a college and he's just sitting on his ass at home, i shouldn't have to feel bad b/c i'm motivated and he's not. i should never have to feel ashamed of achieving anything b/c he's lazy and he doesn't apply himself. but he makes me feel bad about it, "oh, you're so much better than me, you're gonna leave me and i'll be left with nothing" well now i am leaving you and say hello to nothing.