(no subject)
::quirk of an eyebrow:: not that inquisitve quirk, the kind of quirk that's just like "whatever, i'm going to bed." spent all last week in the darkroom, literally. i pretty much lived in there trying to finish my mid term for black and white 2. i already had the negatives and everything, but i had to reprint my entire series b/c the enlargers in the darkroom are shit and 6 out of 10 of them are broken. but it actually worked out to my advantage b/c the enlarger i got was slightly broken, it didn't move up or down really, so i had to crop them to like a square and it was very personal and snap shottish, which i liked and so did rick. my prints are great, but i'm tired and irritated. i don't know, i'm part time this semester and i have a lot more time than i would normally, not having a job yet. but i feel like my entire life is photography right now, which isn't bad, it's just lonely. i guess i'm just lonely. since mike and i broke up i feel kind of devalued and i know it's not true but i can't help it.and while being the world's biggest fag hag is fun and a huge compliment, i would love for a straight man to be interested in me for once. i honestly don't know what i have to give outside being a fag hag, i don't know how to relate to most straight men. the only ones i can really relate to are my friends, but obviously that's not going anywhere romantically. besides the whole not having a boyfriend thing, i need to get out of hagerstown and it's not happening fast enough. i need something different and new and exciting, even if it is west virginia. i'm sort of depressed right now and i don't know why. i just know i feel like crying for no good reason.it came up on me yesterday afternoon on the way to the darkroom and i've been fighting it b/c i don't want to be depressed. sometime i'll eventually have a good cry, but for right now, i think i'm going to go do something artsy, maybe make richie's birthday t-shirt.